We just had "the conversation," and I'm at a bit of a loss ...

[King 5.45]

The wife was helping me move things into a new safe, and we just had "the conversation."

It's the one where one's spouse or significant other finally realizes, or, more likely, finally admits to him or herself that the principal shooter in the family has more arms than they had previously understood -- or wanted to admit.

I know that most guys, and guys, let's not be coy, many of us simply don't tell them about acquisitions, or we play a shell game of moving things in and out of the safe so that it's naught but a blur of whirled, gun-oiled steel peas, all looking quite alike to the uninformed observer.

But I've been absolutely straightforward about things with the missus, and never played dodge-em with the truth. Nonetheless, she was somewhere between pissed off and aghast at my collection of long guns, which is quite modest by almost any standard, especially when stacked up against guys who specialize and have, for instance, one rifle for every year of the K31's production.

How would you handle this from here on out? I know that some of you are going to pipe up with some macho stuff about ruling the roost, but such an arrangement where power isn't equally distributed is never good in the long run for a relationship. Nonetheless, there are a few things that I need to get, most of them simply because spare parts are cheaper when cannibalized from a whole weapon, as opposed to buying parts piecemeal to guard against future failure of one rifle or another.

[Tomcat088]

Hmm, this is coming from a "kid" who is single, so you can take it for what it's worth. I believe that since she is your wife, you should never put your firearms before her; but at the same time that she should be respectful of your wishes. I think it's a bit unfair on her part to be "pissed off" if you've been up front about all of your purchases with her. I also believe that if I compared my gun collection, to a gf/wife, etc's clothing, shoe, purse, and jewelry collection, we'd be pretty even. I think that as long as it's not putting you in a financial bind, it really shouldn't be all that big of a deal; if you need the money for your family then it might be a slightly different position. I think that in any healthy relationship there needs to be compromise, but at the same time I think you should also honestly look at what you need, really want, and just kind of keep around. Hope that helps.

[eells]

Hmm, this is coming from a "kid" who is single, so you can take it for what it's worth. I believe that since she is your wife, you should never put your firearms before her; but at the same time that she should be respectful of your wishes. I think it's a bit unfair on her part to be "pissed off" if you've been up front about all of your purchases with her. I also believe that if I compared my gun collection, to a gf/wife, etc's clothing, shoe, purse, and jewelry collection, we'd be pretty even. I think that as long as it's not putting you in a financial bind, it really shouldn't be all that big of a deal; if you need the money for your family then it might be a slightly different position. I think that in any healthy relationship there needs to be compromise, but at the same time I think you should also honestly look at what you need, really want, and just kind of keep around. Hope that helps.

could not have said it any better myself, +1

[normanvin]

I have never had this problem. The wife was with me for every purchase that I made. She even bought a few for me as gifts.

[jmiro]

I have contemplated keeping what I got a couple times from her. Then when I walked in the door I thought "that will just make it worse". I have been straight forward with her, but there are times when we got to the range and she says "when did you get this". She seems annoyed even when I tell her "you shot this one before" or " on such and such of a date and I told you. Remember I showed you it" She cools down after a little while. I remind her I could still be spending money on dumb stuff.

[Siobhra]

We who own guns and hang with people who own guns never think of our collection as 'large'. I have three long guns and two handguns yet a friend once said "wow, you have a whole arsenal". Five guns is an arsenal to them. Yet I have a co-worker who seems to me to have more guns than the local gun shop. And I bet Chris thinks of his collection as "just a few".

You wife is a non-gun person. It won't take much to surprise her.

[david1]

You should do like the rest of us do and lie about how many we have and never I repeat never ask her for help with them. Then she will know where your money goes.

[imperialism2024]

I'd recommend emphasizing the financial benefits to the gun collection. Guns are as good as, or better than jewelry in terms of retaining value (well, except NFA items perhaps). Whether just an economic downturn like right now, or a SHTF scenario, your guns are a valuable and tradable investment. And as you said, it's cheaper to cannibalize whole guns than to buy parts, in general.

Which means, at the end of the day, that she has more money for shoes

[Grizz2720]

Our Best Friends are in to gun collecting. I usually go to gun shows with him, My wife got used to him coming home all the time with something, when I did, it was no big deal. She has even asked why I don't have "that gun" yet.
We also have told our wives about an article in Shotgun News a couple of years ago that said the AVERAGE GUN OWNER buys 12 guns a year. I have never even came half that close but it seemed to help. Then again I have never known any one who has bought 12 guns year. Always be truthful though.

Grizz

[Dredly]

Hmm, this is coming from a "kid" who is single, so you can take it for what it's worth. I believe that since she is your wife, you should never put your firearms before her; but at the same time that she should be respectful of your wishes. I think it's a bit unfair on her part to be "pissed off" if you've been up front about all of your purchases with her. I also believe that if I compared my gun collection, to a gf/wife, etc's clothing, shoe, purse, and jewelry collection, we'd be pretty even. I think that as long as it's not putting you in a financial bind, it really shouldn't be all that big of a deal; if you need the money for your family then it might be a slightly different position. I think that in any healthy relationship there needs to be compromise, but at the same time I think you should also honestly look at what you need, really want, and just kind of keep around. Hope that helps.

Go get married, then come back and tell us how that works out for you.