Mr Murphy raises his ugly mug , need to vent

[son of the revolution]

Not really feeling sorry for my self or anything , and certainly dont want a pity party , Im sure theres lots of people that have been or are much worse off , just feelin really beatin down by circumstance right now . Forgive me if this rambles a bit , alot on my mind .


Sick and tired of every time we get a little breathing room , and start to fanatasize about a serious drama reduction in the great game of life might actually be possible , something inevitably pops up to give a ginormous smack down to reality

Everyone knows we are expecting our fourth and final child sometime this fall. We had always wanted to try for one more , but had decided we wanted to plan for it and not be caught by surprise . Needless to say , when the wife announced to me back in March that she was pregnant we were happy , but seriously worried about the additional strain on already WAY to tight finances .

Im in sales for Verizon Fios right now , so with the economy in the toilet and Verizon constantly screwing with the incentives they let us offer to overcome objections ( Like Cash back to pay off current providers termination fee ) my income has been cut by at least a third , no sales means no paycheck . But Verizon is a whole nother thread so ...............

Because of medical complications from the previous three births , this current one is a very high risk pregnancy for both my wife and the baby . Doc essentially told us "you can forget about having anymore after this , it could be fatal ! " Which TBH is ok , since 4 is plenty .

Anyway , wife had a routine appointment back in late April and Doc ordered her to immediate full time bedrest for the rest of the term ( 6 mos ) Now if you knew my wife , you would know that this kind of thing really chaps her ass , cause she's always been a go-go-go kind of person . She actually feels " lazy " if she's not constantly doing something , whether its day to day stuff , or working on her garden , or the landscaping , or building something like a shelf or such with whatever scrap lumber is laying around . She's been known to totally re arrange every room in the house in a single day just to have a change of pace . We wont even get into how many times I've barked a shin or something similar cause I walk into a dark room and somethings in a spot it wasnt when I left !

So the Doc puts her on immediate bed rest , which means she has to tell her work ," BTW , I know I was at work yesterday , and Im sorry I cant give you more notice , but I cant come into work for the next 6 to 8 months !" Her immediate co workers and supervisors were quite understanding and ok with the circumstances , but the HR Dept at Company HQ sends her a letter a week later saying , your denied for FMLA oh and BTW Your FIRED ! ( with a rehire notation in your file ) gee thanks bunches

Then , since the People's Socialist Republic of NJ is essentially bankrupt , the State denies her temp disability payments ! So now we have to fight them as well . So now we're REALLY walking the financial tightrope .

Which triggers .................................................. ....... a huge fight with our Landlord . These assholes have been hot and cold for the last 18 months . One time the property manager will be like " if your having problems , just let us know and we'll try to work with you" . Next time , their piling on all kinds of ridiculous fee's and charges ( knowing its going to push us to the breaking point ) . Let me be clear , there have been instances where we've been a bit late paying the rent , but always letting them know , and always paying the late fee voluntarily. The owner is some arrogant rich attorney from North New Germany that thinks he can just do what ever he wants and get away with it .

Case in point , our house has a finished basement . The bathroom on the first floor had a window right smack dab in the middle of the shower surround , so every time someone showered , it would make a waterfall in the basement We fought for three months for them to refinish the bathroom , since we were paying for the use of a finished basement , that we couldnt use . The pompous ass actually said to me on the phone " we dont have to fix the bathroom , we're just being nice "

Technically he's right , I screwed up royally by not examining the lease with a microscope . They put a clause in that says we are responsible for EVERYTHING that goes wrong in the house . Hot water boiler goes ? Its on us , Structural ? On us , Electrical ? On us . And I dont mean the normal first $50 or $100 bucks , I mean ALL of the cost . The guy is basically a slum lord that doesnt want to pay a dime in upkeep and thinks this place is a palatial estate . Its a " decent " house , but far from the cover of a magazine .

Now their trying to force us out for not paying all these "piled on " arbitrary fee's , and I had to spend the better part of yesterday drafting a five page emergency motion to vacate a judgement for possesion , and get it to the Courthouse by 4 pm .

Im relatively confident that we'll win the Court case , I just cant see any rational Judge saying " you up to date on the rent , you have a woman at the property whos Doctor says that moving would create an unnecessary medical risk of harm to her or the fetus , but your still out on your ass for not paying these fee's "

Without going into detail , the Landlord screwed up royally (arrogance again), specifically on a disclosure they were required by Fed and State law to make on the lease.

To top it all off , the wife gets admitted to the Hospital yesterday for a bladder infection , swollen kidney and kidney stones Im sure everyones just being overly cautious , and they told us the baby and her are ok , but she gets psycho level cranky when shes in discomfort and feels like the attending Doc's arent listening to her or blowing off her complaints .

Her hospital stay has seriously thrown off kilter a very delicately balanced schedule . Which makes it even harder for me to juggle the house , kids , work and taking care of everything else .

Did I mention Im beating my head against a wall trying to find a place over in Lancaster County ??! Yea I did , last week TBH , it looks like at this point , as long as I can beat the scumsucking Landlord in Court next week , that we're going to wind up staying over here in the PSRNJ until after the baby is born . Which is not only disapointing , but creates a whole nother set of problems , since our lease expires in Feb 2010 . Right after the Holidays , and a really slow time for work . Plus its freakin COLD to be tramping in and out of a house all day moving .

Just wish we could get even 6 months of relatively drama free living for once , is that really to much to ask for for good , hardworking , honest people just trying to get by and provide a better life for their kids ???


Ok rant off ..............................................

[blueeyedbyrd]

Wow can they really FIRE you over following doctors orders for bedrest??? I thought that could get the company in a world of shit. since she was fired from her job, can she collect unemployment? And denied FMLA? wow. Can you challenge a decision like that? With baby #1 I was "layed off" just before giving birth so I could collect unemployment, I never went back to work (for that company) after those benefits ended. Now with baby #2 coming any day now I filed for disability through work...though it's almost not even worth it, going from what I was making per week to $200/wk really blows, but at least it's something i guess.

[adymond]

Wow can they really FIRE you over following doctors orders for bedrest??? I thought that could get the company in a world of shit. since she was fired from her job, can she collect unemployment? And denied FMLA? wow. Can you challenge a decision like that? With baby #1 I was "layed off" just before giving birth so I could collect unemployment, I never went back to work (for that company) after those benefits ended. Now with baby #2 coming any day now I filed for disability through work...though it's almost not even worth it, going from what I was making per week to $200/wk really blows, but at least it's something i guess.

Actually most HR policies have some sort of "resonable notice" clause in them so that they can do just this.

It always seems that just when you think you are getting your head above water something happens to drag you right back down so you have to fight your way up again. We got a decent return on our taxes this year. We were planning on using most of it to make some upgrades to the house and pick up some gold. We were paying things off already and were ready to start getting ahead. Then the AC unit goes and we have to replace it. There goes getting ahead.

Good luck bro. Keep the wife happy and healthy. Everything else can be overcome.

[son of the revolution]

Wow can they really FIRE you over following doctors orders for bedrest??? I thought that could get the company in a world of shit. since she was fired from her job, can she collect unemployment? And denied FMLA? wow. Can you challenge a decision like that? With baby #1 I was "layed off" just before giving birth so I could collect unemployment, I never went back to work (for that company) after those benefits ended. Now with baby #2 coming any day now I filed for disability through work...though it's almost not even worth it, going from what I was making per week to $200/wk really blows, but at least it's something i guess.

Unfortunately according to an aquaintance thats a Labor Lawyer , yes they can terminate . Our intital reaction was just like yours , essentially you would think its blatant discrimination , basically being fired for being pregnant. But the lawyer said that since she didnt have enough "worked " hours in the previous calendar year that they could do it . The irony is her HR Dept is so clueless that they denied her for FMLA , when she NEVER applied for it , what she sent in was the State Temp Disability Papers , which they returned with their letter , saying she was denied for FMLA

So that delayed getting the denial from the State also . Unemployment might be possible , but I would be shocked if they were willing to send someone out to the house to interview her . Normally they want people to appear at the local office to apply and have an interview .

[wis bang]

So that delayed getting the denial from the State also . Unemployment might be possible , but I would be shocked if they were willing to send someone out to the house to interview her . Normally they want people to appear at the local office to apply and have an interview .

Apply for unemployment on-line. With so many people out it will be months b/4 you speak to anyone. NJ's not like it used to be...

[blueeyedbyrd]

Yeah I'm not sure how PRNJ works filing for diability, PA made it easy - fill out an online form, a week or so later you get a letter in the mail asking if you want direct deposit, and then they start paying you. No phone calls, no personal appearances etc.

I'm real sorry to hear that things happened they way they did for you guys, it's almost mind blowing, but I always say that things happen for a reason...sometimes that reason is hard to figure out though. Things will get better!

[son of the revolution]

Yeah I'm not sure how PRNJ works filing for diability, PA made it easy - fill out an online form, a week or so later you get a letter in the mail asking if you want direct deposit, and then they start paying you. No phone calls, no personal appearances etc.

I'm real sorry to hear that things happened they way they did for you guys, it's almost mind blowing, but I always say that things happen for a reason...sometimes that reason is hard to figure out though. Things will get better!

Thanks , subconciously I know we'll get through it , just wish we could get some breathing room between each crisis. Im a realist , never asked for much , know the world isnt all rainbows and peaches and cream , never begruged anyone their success , or luck , never walked around saying "why me " . Just sick of the "beatdowns " from life . If it's true that "whatever doesnt kill you makes you stronger " I'll be the Incredible Hulk and the wife will be Wonder Woman once we hit middle age !

[adymond]

Thanks , subconciously I know we'll get through it , just wish we could get some breathing room between each crisis. Im a realist , never asked for much , know the world isnt all rainbows and peaches and cream , never begruged anyone their success , or luck , never walked around saying "why me " . Just sick of the "beatdowns " from life . If it's true that "whatever doesnt kill you makes you stronger " I'll be the Incredible Hulk and the wife will be Wonder Woman once we hit middle age !

What do you mean "once we hit" middle age? I think you may have been smacked with middle age already.

[son of the revolution]

What do you mean "once we hit" middle age? I think you may have been smacked with middle age already.

Oh , were we talking chronologically ?? Silly me , cause mentally we're still in our early twenties Especially the wife , her 31st Bday is June 2nd , but she insists its actually the anniversary of turning 21 Besides I thought mid 30's was the new early twenties ? I refuse to acknowledge getting older until Im at least in my mid 50's and no one can make me either Its bad enough our two oldest girls ( 14 ) are starting to discover boys I have to keep reminding them I have lots of places to dispose of the body . Tried grounding them until they hit 30 but that worked about as well as a screen door in a submarine

[adymond]

Oh , were we talking chronologically ?? Silly me , cause mentally we're still in our early twenties Especially the wife , her 31st Bday is June 2nd , but she insists its actually the anniversary of turning 21 Besides I thought mid 30's was the new early twenties ? I refuse to acknowledge getting older until Im at least in my mid 50's and no one can make me either Its bad enough our two oldest girls ( 14 ) are starting to discover boys I have to keep reminding them I have lots of places to dispose of the body . Tried grounding them until they hit 30 but that worked about as well as a screen door in a submarine

The professionals would call that denial.