addressing the anti gun woman

[XD40coyote]

I all too often see posts at gun forums( often at this one!) about the man of the house having to deal with an anti gun wife or girlfriend, esp with the issue of carrying. This fear ( or loathing, or whatever it is) these women have must be akin to a mild phobia. Now, I have my own stupid phobias, and I will readily admit that they are stupid and that I am trying to work through the issues that lead to them. Psychological traumas that lead to phobias can be really deep, mine are many layers and many years deep. So I can understand to some degree those women who had a loved one murdered by some bastard with a gun, or had a family member or a friend commit suicide by shooting themselves. However one's deep phobias should not be foisted on a signifigant other, and esp your children. I don't try to rile anyone into a panic over what I fear, to try and make them have the same phobias. This is my problem, not my mother's, father's, or aquaintances' and friends'.

You know what? I used to be scared of guns. Not a phobia though. At the same time I thought guns were cool! BUT I was afraid to actually handle REAL ones. The process of overcoming the fear took years, then months. I forced myself to overcome it. Sometimes something happens that just pushes me beyond the threshold I had maintained. The last time this happened was in the spring of 2000. Before that I couldn't imagine myself killing foxes, raccoons, or other such critters. But damnit, the foxes wouldn't stop killing my free ranged banty chickens! I got so friggin mad that I bought traps and trapping supplies and went and took the hunters safety course, and shortly after that bought my first hunting/trapping lisc. I also bought my first gun! Sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do...

Funny thing is I hated that gun. I never did any target shooting with it. I only used it to kill raccoons, possums, and some of the foxes. The gun embarrassed and shamed me. The real underlying problem was a self loathing of MYSELF and something that happened to me in my early 20's. I'm not going to get into what happened, but it had to do with stress and heavy psychological problems stemming from it. When I heard about the VA Tech shooting, my "problem" from back then came back to haunt me. But I fought it back and my response was that instead of hating myself, I should protect myself. So I ended up back into guns, but this time I had to overcome the loathing. As I mentioned earlier, it took months to overcome fear. Small steps. When the fear and loathing had been worked through I felt comfortable enough to buy my 2nd gun, this time a .40, and it's not for shooting small animals ( though I can use it for those pesky foxes if I catch them stalking chickens). I learned to enjoy this gun, and ended up buying a 9mm a few months later. Then I made another descision- to get a carry lisc so I could carry in PA- and I also started carrying at home. And I just LOVE the idea of open carry!

To me, I now see women who fear guns and never try to overcome it, as fools. The women who should be armed are the ones who live alone, have abusive ex's, live in or travel in a bad area, and/or have children to protect. And not just to be armed, but to have some training as well. With 3/4 of states now shall-issue, and some of the remainder at least having legal unlisc'd open carry, there is no excuse for a woman living in those states. Even in the "stupid states", one can be armed at home at least. A woman of sound mind should carry! Most women's fear of guns isn't even a phobia, so overcoming the irrationality shouldn't be too hard. Simply reading about home invasions and rapes should be enough to convince most women to be armed and to get at least the basic training, wether a states CC class, or the basic NRA handgun class. In my case, I am more or less self taught (I did have the firearms safety aspect of hunters ed, but I already knew about all those rules prior to the course). I have this thing about self reliance and am an OCD nerd. This "thing" has me obtaining all the furs I'd ever want ( I love fur), and now I have a rifle barreled shotgun for deer hunting, to get meat.

I've seen the saying " if you have the means to carry and your state allows it, and you don't, you might as well step out your door and go "baaaaaah". Gun carry doesn't have to be all about macho. Us ladies can do it too. And we should be, even more so than men. When it comes to men's fears about women vs womens fears about men- a man fears a woman laughing at him, a woman fears a man killing her( annotated from the book- "The Gift of Fear").

I know I am always blunt and to the point and I say it like it is, but guys, please share this with your wives/ girlfriends. Let them also know I am not some man hating bull **** or crazy macho woman. Ok, maybe I don't like pink and purses, but I am still a woman; I have boobs, I bleed every month, I think I am fat, I crave chocolate, and I have a small bladder LOL.

[Rauswaffen]

Good post, and good job conquering your fear. Rep inbound.

[son of the revolution]

+1 , rep coming

Thats a really nice post , I hope you'll seriously consider expanding it a bit and submitting it for publication anywhere that will consider it !! There needs to be more women like you speaking out .

[Whippit96]

+1 from me also!

That was an excellent read, and from my expeirences very accurate. I also agree that you should try and get that published somewhere that women will see it. It took a while for my wife to come around to shooting handguns. But now she has her own and she also has her LTCF and carries it with her everywhere.

[BlownNitroPontiac]

I'll betcha my bladder's smaller.

At least, to hear my wife tell it, it is.

[markheck1]

Very nice post! Very nice!

[CommonHighrise]

Rep inbound.

....mmm, chocolate.

[hkg3]

I agree with the others. This is an excellent post and it should be made available to women in "Refuse to be a Victim" classes.

Best Regards,

Mike

[XD40coyote]

I can work on it when I feel lucid again LOL, and add more to it. Maybe do a copy that I can submit to publications and blogs. Now and then my writer side comes out. Funny thing is I wrote this while feeling tired and while waiting for a DNR officer to call me about tagging my otter. I had just been reading about anti g-friends and wives on another thread around here somewhere, or another forum. ARRRG I just got steamed. Not to mention the victim advocacy idiots in my state testifying against letting abused spouses get a carry lisc, saying garbage about having any guns around is baaaaad, and spewing the rest of the usual Brady idiocy.

[ggig]

Excellent read with a lot of insight. I have printed it off to show my g/f. She is on the verge of getting her LCTF, this may persuade her..+1 and thanx