Finally came clean w/ the wife...sort of

[ham385]

I finally did it. I told the wife, who is very anti, that I carry. Its a long story, but in a nutshell her only experience with firearms was a cousins suicide when she was growing up. I eased her into the concept of having one in the house when I built my AR 3 years ago. She was not happy...eventually she decided it was tolerable after she decreed no ammo would be tolerable in the house.

I abided for a while,until I took up hunting that fall. Not with the AR, rather a new shotgun that she was not thrilled about. Left over ammo started piling up, so did the guns, I needed a 30/30 for deer season. She caught me with ammo a couple times, I was always honest, just not forthcoming about the leftovers. If she asked, I told her the truth and she would demand I get rid of it asap.

I bought the first pistol about a year ago, and didn't tell her about it. I wish I had. Soon after I got my carry permit and didn't tell her about it either. Big mistake. Now I started carrying and had to hide it from her.

I didn't exactly tell her the whole truth, but now she knows. Last week, after we closed the deal on her new SUV, I told her of my intention to buy a P3AT and to carry. She was not happy …. I reminded. Her. Of an incident that happened just prior to my applying for a LTCF. Walking from downtown to the stadium about 8pm after work, I was followed, asked for money, and verbally assaulted thru the park and the whole way across the bridge. I think the guy didn't have the balls to start a physical altercation and was trying to work up to it. He stopped following me when we got to the other side of the bridge. Things could have gone south very easily and I count myself lucky that day, as there was noone around.

Reminding her of the incident struck home. She switched to the topic of ammo in the house and concern over the safety of our 3yr old and 4mo old girls. I stressed that I would never do anything to endanger them. I already have a floor safe in the basement and told her I would purchase a small digital combo safe for this purpose (no keys for safety)

She agreed! On saturday, she text'd me from work asking if I bought it. I replied that I did. That was the last we discussed. She's obviously not happy about it,but she hasn't been giving me the silent treatment. After 5 years of marriage, I know if I was in trouble she would be short with me. I think she's accepting but not exactly digging the situation. I thought she would have. Wanted to see it.

I'm not going to force any more on her. I'd love for her to show an interest, but she's been extremely accommodating, and ill take it.

I've seen others post asking for advice on dealing with a not so accommodating significant other and thought this might help. She still doesn't like guns, and may never, but who knows. It took 3 years to get here, gimme another 5 and she may be shooting CMP competively.

[camper]

Hiding stuff like that from your wife--something this big especially--is a bad deal. Don't do it again, man...it could go bad fast.

Glad to hear she's tolerating it for now, but expect a blowup in the future. This will come back around, it ain't over yet.

I would also invest in a small safe for your bedroom, if that's where you store your carry gun. That way you can keep it close by your bed. In an emergency, a gun in the safe in the basement floor is pretty much as effective as one in your neighbors house.


camper

[RoyJackson]

It's always better if your spouse knows...she'll find out sooner or later anyway!
My wife isn't a total anti, but she'd prefer in firearms weren't in the house and she's 100% against me OC'ing. As a compromise, I carry sorta conceal (under a vest, OWB for the Glock and pocket carry for the .38).
Now, we don't have kids in the house (all grown up) and there are firearms stashed around the place.
It does sound like your wife is coming around though.

[LisaA]

After hiding my Beretta .32 from my mother for two years, I finally told that I was buying some guns. At first, she cried (two murders in the family does that). After I explained to her that maybe both family members would be still alive if someone came to their rescue, she understood!

Truthfully, though, being honest is always best.

[tlgpa]

I would also invest in a small safe for your bedroom, if that's where you store your carry gun.

Definately a good idea. Keep everything locked up and safe. Ammo laying around? tsk tsk.

I'd recommend taking your wife to shoot and get comfortable holding and using a gun. Maybe a gun safety course.
Fear of the unknown is usually worse than fear of the known.

My wife isn't fond of guns. Her dad was a cop. And not a very safe one. Would leave his loaded weapon laying around the house.
I've got a gun cabinet. All guns and ammo are locked up inside. She never sees any of it out except when I'm cleaning or going to the range.

I recently bought a little .22 pistol to teach her and the kids to shoot. The kids have shot it a couple times now. And now she's itching to give it a try.
After she's comfortable using it, she'd like to keep it locked in the bedroom for when I'm not around.

[bortle]

The truth will set you free. Lock things up from little kids but teach them about gun safety. Tell her you WILL protect the family at all costs. Get over it or STFU.

[Tootie]

Well you must be a very talented negotiator and I'm glad it worked out for you.
All I can say is I don't think it would have turned out so well if I found out my husband was hiding something from me for 5 years that I was fully against. But, like I said, I'm glad it worked out for you, this time.


(don't do it again :-p )

[DonSmithnotTMD]

My wife isn't fond of guns. Her dad was a cop. And not a very safe one. Would leave his loaded weapon laying around the house.
I've got a gun cabinet. All guns and ammo are locked up inside. She never sees any of it out except when I'm cleaning or going to the range.

I'm not following his. We have 3 loaded weapons in the house right now and at least one more to follow soon.

[tlgpa]

I'm not following his. We have 3 loaded weapons in the house right now and at least one more to follow soon.

Do you leave loaded weapons laying around with small children in the house? If so your children may grow up fearing guns... or dead.

[DonSmithnotTMD]

Do you leave loaded weapons laying around with small children in the house? If so your children may grow up fearing guns... or dead.

Actually no we don't have custody yet. There's a plan for that