Hand me downs

[JoeWilliams]

The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman.


And she was somewhat upset. 'You are a disrespectful pig!' she cried. 'How dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce right away!'


And the husband replied, 'Hang on just a minute love so at least I can tell you what happened.'


'Fine, go ahead,' she sobbed,' but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!'


And the husband began -- 'Well, I was getting into the car to drive home, and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car.


I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days.


So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments.


Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes, so I threw them away. Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don't wear because you say they are too tight.


I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't wear because I don't have good taste.


I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't wear just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't wear because someone at work has a pair the same.'


The husband took a quick breath and continued - 'She was so grateful for my understanding and help that as I walked her to the door, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said, 'Please ... Do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?'

[Tequila Sunrise]

Oh that was pretty funny.

[Seventy4Blazer]

ouch! funny... and in so many ways... sadly true.