Here's a good one: Too intoxicated to drive, man calls 911

[HiredGoon]

At least he had enough sense to get off the road before he hurt or killed someone or himself.

Too intoxicated to drive, man calls 911
Saturday, February 21, 2009

Who says alcohol always clouds judgment?

State police arrested a Clarion County man today after he called 911 to report that he was driving away from a tavern but was going to pull over because he had drunk too much to navigate safely.

Troopers found John Wilson, 26, of Knox, in the parking lot of a gas station in Sligo at 12:45 a.m..

A trooper said this in his report on the incident: "(Mr.Wilson) related that he had left the bar and was on his way home when he realized he was too drunk to make it home."

State police said charges that could include driving under the influence will be filed after results of a blood-alcohol test are known.

[imperialism2024]

State police said charges that could include driving under the influence will be filed after results of a blood-alcohol test are known.

Moral of the story: if you find yourself getting drunker while driving home, just keep driving because no matter what you do, you'll probably get railroaded. Just like the guy who pulled over, but left the keys in the ignition...

Good job, PSP

[Frenchy]

OK so it's a joke, but it fits well here ...



A Michigan State trooper pulled a car over on US 23 about 2 miles north of the Michigan/Indiana State line. When the trooper asked the driver why he was speeding, the driver said he was a Magician and Juggler and was on his way to Ft. Wayne , IN to do a show at the Shrine Circus. He didn't want to be late.

The trooper told the driver he was fascinated by juggling and said if the driver would do a little juggling for him then he wouldn't give him a ticket. He told the trooper he had sent his equipment ahead and didn't have anything to juggle. The trooper said he had some flares in the trunk and asked if he could juggle them. The juggler said he could, so the trooper got 5 flares, lit them and handed them to him.

While the man was juggling, a car pulled in behind the patrol car. A drunken good old boy from Michigan got out, watched the performance, then went over to the patrol car, opened the rear door and got in. The trooper observed him and went over to the patrol car, opened the door asking the drunk what he thought he was doing.

The drunk replied, 'You might as well take my ass to jail, cause there ain't no way I can pass that test.'

[rjg]

At least he had enough sense to get off the road before he hurt or killed someone or himself.

Too intoxicated to drive, man calls 911
Saturday, February 21, 2009

Who says alcohol always clouds judgment?

State police arrested a Clarion County man today after he called 911 to report that he was driving away from a tavern but was going to pull over because he had drunk too much to navigate safely.

Troopers found John Wilson, 26, of Knox, in the parking lot of a gas station in Sligo at 12:45 a.m..

A trooper said this in his report on the incident: "(Mr.Wilson) related that he had left the bar and was on his way home when he realized he was too drunk to make it home."

State police said charges that could include driving under the influence will be filed after results of a blood-alcohol test are known.

Geez what a boob.

[crakkajakka15]

I kinda feel for this guy, but I dont at the same time. Yea, if your drunk enough to call the cops on yourself... you shouldnt be driving in the first place, but atleast he called and tried to et some help before he hurt himself or someone else. I feel that he should get charged with something, but i think it should be relaxed due to the fact that he pulled into a gas station and waited for help to arrive. I dunno, he still broke the law though.

[pirateron]

there should be some leniency due to the fact that the perp a- wasn't driving at the time, and b- was trying to do right by not driving. Fact is, he'll get the book thrown at him, like any other offender. I know folks that have had that happen to them, (they didn't call the cops on themselves) but they weren't actually 'driving' when the po-po showed up and arrested them, just in their car.

[dman]

This man was not the sharpest tool in the shed but he did have some sense
about him. On a similar note,I was liveing in Fla. and it was my birthday,36 years old I think.Anyhow,I got pretty drunk.It was last call and the place was pretty cleared out.I walked out to the car,locked it up,and started to walk home.It wasn't very far,about 1/2 mile or so.I guess I was a little tipsy and was approached by a police car.He said I was obviously drunk and put me through the wringer.Took me to jail for public intoxication,"The Meyers Act".
Three days in jail,no charges,no fines,just detained for my own good.
Gee thanks,and happy birthday !! While in jail,I was approached by a local judge,Tretis was his name,"holy roller type".He got to preaching at me and I was in no mood.Ended up at anger management for six weeks,and still no charges or fines.In a nut shell,I peed spring water,no drugs,alcohol,etc..
They let me go three weeks early,said I had no substance problems,"Eureka"!
Thanks to there infinate wisdom,I am now the man that I am,Thank you and happy birthday,nimrods !!!!!!!!!!!1

[HiredGoon]

...I walked out to the car,locked it up,and started to walk home.It wasn't very far,about 1/2 mile or so.I guess I was a little tipsy and was approached by a police car.He said I was obviously drunk and put me through the wringer.Took me to jail for public intoxication,"The Meyers Act".

Glad to hear you were wise enough not to drive

Three days in jail,no charges,no fines,just detained for my own good.

Kinda like Otis on The Andy Griffith Show

Gee thanks,and happy birthday !! While in jail,I was approached by a local judge,Tretis was his name,"holy roller type".He got to preaching at me and I was in no mood.Ended up at anger management for six weeks,and still no charges or fines.In a nut shell,I peed spring water,no drugs,alcohol,etc..

They let me go three weeks early,said I had no substance problems,"Eureka"!
Thanks to there infinate wisdom,I am now the man that I am,Thank you and happy birthday,nimrods !!!!!!!!!!!1

Well, I guess in the end it kind of worked out OK, probably could have been a lot worse, especially if you had driven

[st.marys]

Was looking at some old posts, trying to see if I did the correct thing. Last weekend, I went out with a bunch of friends, and had too much to drink and knew I "shouldn't drive." I had my Ford Expedition, so I threw my keys back in the third row seat, and went in the passenger side (not the drivers side) and slept it off till morning. Luckily, no LEO's came to ticket or tow my vehicle since it was street parked. Was that the right thing to do, or what?

[kevco]

Was looking at some old posts, trying to see if I did the correct thing. Last weekend, I went out with a bunch of friends, and had too much to drink and knew I "shouldn't drive." I had my Ford Expedition, so I threw my keys back in the third row seat, and went in the passenger side (not the drivers side) and slept it off till morning. Luckily, no LEO's came to ticket or tow my vehicle since it was street parked. Was that the right thing to do, or what?

I'dve folded the back seats down and crashed in the back!