Funny Email Story about CC

[SigForLife]

I got this in an email today. It was funny and had to share.

To the Guy Who Mugged Me Downtown (Downtown, Savannah)
Date: 2009-01-06, 3:43AM EST

I was the white guy with the black Burrberry jacket that you demanded I
hand over shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend.
You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I hope you
somehow come across this message. I'd like to apologize.

I didn't expect you to crap your pants when I drew my pistol after you
took my jacket. Truth is, I was wearing the jacket for a reason that
evening and it wasn't that cold outside. You see, my girlfriend had just
bought me that Kimber 1911 .45 ACP pistol for Christmas and we had just
picked up a shoulder holster for it that evening. Beautiful pistol, eh?
It's a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head, isn't it?

I know it probably wasn't a great deal of fun walking back to wherever
you'd come from with that brown stinking sludge flopping about in your
pants. I'm sure it was even worse since you also ended up leaving your
shoes, cell phone and wallet with me. I couldn't have you calling up any
of your buddies to come help you try to mug us again. I took the liberty
of calling your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell,
and explaining to her your situation. I also bought myself some gas on
your card. I gave your shoes to one of the homeless guys over by Vinnie
Van Go Go's, along with all of the cash in your wallet, then I threw the
wallet itself in a dumpster.

I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell. They'll be on your
bill in case you'd like to know which ones. Alltel recently shut down
the line, and I've only had the phone for a little over a day now, so I
don't know what's going on with that. I hope they haven't permanently
cut off your service. I was about to make some threatening phone calls
to the DA's office with it. Oh20well.

So, about your pants. I know that I was a little rough on you when you
did this whole attempted mugging thing, so I'd like to make it up to
you. I'm sure you've already washed your pants, so I'd like to help you
out. I'd like to reimburse you for the detergent you used on the pants.
What brand did you use and was it liquid or powder? I'd also like to
apologize for not killing you and instead making you walk back home
humiliated. I'm hoping that you'll reconsider your choice of path in
life. Next time you might not be so lucky. If you read this message,
email me and we'll do lunch and laundry. Peace!

- Alex
Reply With Quote

[customloaded]

Ahh, just one of the 50 or so Robberys a week in Savannah. Glad it turned out so well for the BG. LOL

[imperialism2024]

I believe that was originally posted on craigslist, but was removed after someone complained about it.

[indianjack]

I believe that was originally posted on craigslist, but was removed after someone complained about it.

Who the heck would complain, and why?

[SigForLife]

Who the heck would complain, and why?

The guy who crapped his pants, of course!

[reverserboy]

Who the heck would complain, and why?

Crime should be a safe,alternate way for a disadvantaged person to earn a living. It's society's fault. Didn't you know that??

That poor perp could have been killed if that Kimber had gone off. Where's your compassion??

OK....I'm just joking.

[38SnubFan]

Crime should be a safe,alternate way for a disadvantaged person to earn a living. It's society's fault. Didn't you know that??

That poor perp could have been killed if that Kimber had gone off. Where's your compassion??

OK....I'm just joking.

I'll be more than happy to give my sympathies to the ass-hat.

I'll hand him a dictionary and tell him to look between sh*t and syphillis.

-38SnubFan