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  1. #1
    Join Date
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    Default A letter to the Gov.

    I don't know if this is true or not, but it's funny.


    For all you wildlife, environmental vs. governmental type people....


    The Dam

    This is an actual letter sent to a man named Ryan DeVries by the
    Pennsylvania Department of Environmental Quality, State of
    Pennsylvania. This guy's response is hilarious, but read the State's
    letter before you get to the response letter.


    SUBJECT: DEQ File No.97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Lycoming County

    Dear Mr. DeVries:

    It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental Quality that there has been recent unauthorized activity on the above referenced parcel of property. You have been certified as the legal landowner and/or contractor who did the following unauthorized activity:

    Construction and maintenance of two wood debris dams
    across the outlet stream of Spring Pond.

    A permit must be issued prior to the start of this type of activity.

    A review of the Department's files shows that no permits have been
    issued. Therefore, the Department has determined that this activity is in violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Pennsylvania Compiled Laws, annotated.

    The Department has been informed that one or both of the dams partially failed during a recent rain event, causing debris and flooding at downstream locations. We find that dams of this nature are inherently hazardous and cannot be permitted. The Department therefore orders you to cease and desist all activities at this location, and to restore the stream to a free-flow condition by removing all wood and brush forming the dams from the stream channel. All restoration work shall be completed no later than January 31, 2006.

    Please notify this office when the restoration has been completed so that a follow-up site inspection may be scheduled by our staff.

    Failure to comply with this request or any further unauthorized activity on the site may result in this case being referred for elevated enforcement action..

    We anticipate and would appreciate your full cooperation in this matter.
    Please feel free to contact me at this office if you have any questions.

    Sincerely,
    David L. Price
    District Representative and Water Management Division.


    Here is the actual response sent back by Mr. DeVries:

    Re: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Lycoming County

    Dear Mr. Price,

    Your certified letter dated 12/17/02 has been handed to me to respond to.
    I am the legal landowner but not the Contractor at 2088 Dagget Lane,
    Trout Run, Pennsylvania.

    A couple of beavers are in the (State unauthorized) process of constructing and maintaining two wood "debris" dams across the outlet stream of my
    Spring Pond. While I did not pay for, authorize, nor supervise their dam project, I think they would be highly offended that you call their skillful use of natures building materials "debris." I would like to challenge your department to attempt to emulate their dam project any time and/or any place you choose.
    I believe I can safely state there is no way you could ever match their dam skills, their dam resourcefulness, their dam ingenuity, their dam persistence, their dam determination and/or their dam work ethic.

    As to your request, I do not think the beavers are aware that they must first fill out a dam permit prior to the start of this type of dam activity.

    My first dam question to you is:
    (1) Are you trying to discriminate against my Spring Pond Beavers, or
    (2) do you require all beavers throughout this State to conform to said dam request?

    If you are not discriminating against these particular beavers, through the Freedom of Information Act, I request completed copies of all those other applicable beaver dam permits that have been issued. Perhaps we will see if there really is a dam violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Pennsylvania
    Compiled Laws, annotated.

    I have several concerns. My first concern is, aren't the beavers entitled to legal representation? The Spring Pond Beavers are financially destitute and are unable to pay for said representation -- so the State will have to provide them with a dam lawyer. The Department's dam concern that either one or both of the dams failed during a recent rain event, causing flooding, is proof that this is a natural occurrence, which the Department is required to protect. In other words, we should leave the Spring Pond Beavers alone rather than harassing them and calling their dam names.

    If you want the stream "restored" to a dam free-flow condition please
    contact the beavers -- but if you are going to arrest them, they obviously did not pay any attention to your dam letter, they being unable to read English.

    In my humble opinion, the Spring Pond Beavers have a right to build
    their unauthorized dams as long as the sky is blue, the grass is green and water flows downstream. They have more dam rights than I do to live and enjoy Spring Pond. If the Department of Natural Resources
    and Environmental Protection lives up to its name, it should protect
    the natural resources (Beavers) and the environment t (Beavers' Dams).

    So, as far as the beavers and I are concerned, this dam case can be
    referred for more elevated enforcement action right now. Why wait
    until 1/31/2006? The Spring Pond Beavers may be under the dam ice
    then and there will be no way for you or your dam staff to
    contact/harass them then.

    In conclusion, I would like to bring to your attention to a real
    environmental quality, health, problem in the area. It is the
    bears! Bears are actually defecating in our woods. I definitely
    believe you should be persecuting the defecating bears and
    leave the beavers alone.

    If you are going to investigate the beaver dam, watch your step!
    The bears are not careful where they dump!

    Being unable to comply with your dam request, and being unable
    to contact you on your dam answering machine, I am sending this
    response to your dam office.


    THANK YOU.
    RYAN DEVRIES & THE DAM BEAVERS
    Skeet is a sport where you are better to hit half of each bird then completely blast one and miss the other completely.

    The choice is yours, place your faith in the court system and 12 of your peers, or carried away by 6 friends.

    Nemo Me Impune Lacessit. 'Nobody provokes me with impunity'
    ΜOΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ

    In this world there's two kinds of people, my friend. Those with loaded guns, and those who dig. You dig.
    Clint Eastwood
    The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
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    Levittown, Pennsylvania
    (Bucks County)
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    Default

    True or not, that was a fun read. Thanks.
    Mike(starblazer)
    USAF vet. NRA life member. GOA life member.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Lewisberry, Pennsylvania
    (York County)
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    Default

    its basically true. it happened in Michigan though.

    www.snopes.com/humor/letters/dammed.htm

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
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    hometown, Pennsylvania
    (Beaver County)
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    Default Re: A letter to the Gov.

    just surfing and looked up the oldest lounge post and dam it made me laugh!!!
    "Yell it from that Mountain High 'I was Born Free' " ~ Kid Rock

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