Gun Show Characters

[fritz1255]

I’ve been going to gun shows for about 40 years now. I’ve lived in different parts of the country, and have noticed that you seem to see the same sort of characters no matter where the show is. My short list, please feel free to add ones that you have seen:

Penitentiary Face: Looking like he just stepped off the set of Shawshank Redemption, this guy has a face that would scare Godzilla. One look at him, and now you don’t just want to buy a gun, you NEED to, and you need to do it TODAY! You may not get out of the show alive without one. I'm almost convinced that the promoters hire these guys just to walk around the shows all day - it's bound to increase sales.

The Museum Curator: Has a huge assortment of rare guns at his table, and it soon becomes obvious why - he is asking about 1.5X to 2X normal retail. When you try to dicker with him, he moans about how he has to have that price or he's losing money. At that point, I usually console him for having been taken so badly and move on. He may be the smartest vendor at the show - he only has to sell a couple of guns to make it a profitable weekend.

The Road Block: Weighing well over 300 pounds, he stands chatting in the middle of the aisle, totally oblivious to the fact that nobody can get by him. It has usually been way too long since he has showered or washed his hair.

The Jerk Dealer: His (high) prices are non-negotiable, and when you ask him to cut the tie-wrap off the bolt so you can see down the bore, he rolls his eyes. Sure, buddy, I'll just pay your price without inspecting it! Right!

[Walleye Hunter]

I*ve been going to gun shows for about 40 years now. I*ve lived in different parts of the country, and have noticed that you seem to see the same sort of characters no matter where the show is. My short list, please feel free to add ones that you have seen:

Penitentiary Face: Looking like he just stepped off the set of Shawshank Redemption, this guy has a face that would scare Godzilla. One look at him, and now you don*t just want to buy a gun, you NEED to, and you need to do it TODAY! You may not get out of the show alive without one. I'm almost convinced that the promoters hire these guys just to walk around the shows all day - it's bound to increase sales.

The Museum Curator: Has a huge assortment of rare guns at his table, and it soon becomes obvious why - he is asking about 1.5X to 2X normal retail. When you try to dicker with him, he moans about how he has to have that price or he's losing money. At that point, I usually console him for having been taken so badly and move on. He may be the smartest vendor at the show - he only has to sell a couple of guns to make it a profitable weekend.

The Road Block: Weighing well over 300 pounds, he stands chatting in the middle of the aisle, totally oblivious to the fact that nobody can get by him. It has usually been way too long since he has showered or washed his hair.

The Jerk Dealer: His (high) prices are non-negotiable, and when you ask him to cut the tie-wrap off the bolt so you can see down the bore, he rolls his eyes. Sure, buddy, I'll just pay your price without inspecting it! Right!

You spending your time in the bathroom looking in the mirror? J/K ROFLMAO

[fritz1255]

This is me: The Bottom Feeder: His parents grew up poor during the depression, and they imparted a big time “value of money” thing to this guy. Nothing attracts him more than piles of rusty parts and low prices. He will pick through dozens of rusty receivers looking for the ONE with a good bore. Often finds good deals, but has lots of junk sitting in his basement too.

[GunLawyer001]

This is me: The Bottom Feeder: His parents grew up poor during the depression, and they imparted a big time *value of money* thing to this guy. Nothing attracts him more than piles of rusty parts and low prices. He will pick through dozens of rusty receivers looking for the ONE with a good bore. Often finds good deals, but has lots of junk sitting in his basement too.

If I want to pay full price, I'll do so at a venue with good lighting, no crowds, AC or heat, indoor plumbing that doesn't look like a mass machete killing event, at a time convenient to me.

If I have to stand in line, sample aerosolized body odor and farts, early in the morning, 50 miles away, choosing from an utterly random selection of things I wasn't looking for, then I want a bargain.

[Story]

Mister "Thank me for my service"

[ForeverPA]

Every venue attracts its own stereotype. I was at a shop dozens of miles away from the gun show where I spotted a family. Without even asking I knew they were at the gun show by the way they looked and dressed. I am sure if you go to plumbers convention, you'll notice their own crowds. Our gun show crowds can be more or less described as hillbillies. You can tell that right in the parking lot; beat up pick up trucks with assorted stickers everywhere.

[Bellerophon]

And on the other side of the aisle: The “I Gotta Have” Dealer: Old guy walks up to a dealer’s table to sell a gun. The dealer tells him the gun is essentially worthless, but he’ll give him $50 out of the goodness of his heart. The old guy says “My daughter won’t let me give it to my grandson, so okay I might as well get rid of it”. A few minutes later, you walk up to his table, pick up the same gun, and ask how much. The answer is “I gotta have $250 or I’m losin’ money”. One thing you don’t gotta have is any of my money, pal. I didn’t make this up, I saw it.

Yep. I’ve seen a lot of dealer grifting over the years. I listened to a dealer a few years ago try to explain to an elderly gentleman that his late ‘40s Smith and Wesson Model 27 with all the police paperwork and factory letter would only be worth about $100 cash or $125 in trade due to its “condition” - it looked in near perfect shape for a former police issue.

Luckily he didn’t go for it. I’ve seen that dealer several times since then (not recently) and I avoid his table all together. Nice guys might finish last; but @$$holes get reputations.

[DukeConnor]

M27 didn't appear until mid 50's.

[Bang]

Several years ago friends in Florida found themselves named executor in a friend's will. A very nice circa 1972 S&W model 10, with original sale paperwork, resided in his safety deposit box. They took it to a gun dealer/shooting range to sell it to them. The counter person apologetically offered $300 "due to its condition". They called me and asked if I'd be interested in it for three hundred bucks. I considered it for two nanoseconds and affirmed YES!

[R L Suehr]

Several years ago friends in Florida found themselves named executor in a friend's will. A very nice circa 1972 S&W model 10, with original sale paperwork, resided in his safety deposit box. They took it to a gun dealer/shooting range to sell it to them. The counter person apologetically offered $300 "due to its condition". They called me and asked if I'd be interested in it for three hundred bucks. I considered it for two nanoseconds and affirmed YES!

That's probably not out of line several years ago. I paid $275 for one about 5 years ago in fairy beat up shape that was mid 70's vintage. If they were offering 300, they probably considered it a 4-450 gun.