Pennsylvania Firearm Owners Association
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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2016
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    New London, Pennsylvania
    (Chester County)
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    Default Gun Show Characters

    I’ve been going to gun shows for about 40 years now. I’ve lived in different parts of the country, and have noticed that you seem to see the same sort of characters no matter where the show is. My short list, please feel free to add ones that you have seen:

    Penitentiary Face: Looking like he just stepped off the set of Shawshank Redemption, this guy has a face that would scare Godzilla. One look at him, and now you don’t just want to buy a gun, you NEED to, and you need to do it TODAY! You may not get out of the show alive without one. I'm almost convinced that the promoters hire these guys just to walk around the shows all day - it's bound to increase sales.

    The Museum Curator: Has a huge assortment of rare guns at his table, and it soon becomes obvious why - he is asking about 1.5X to 2X normal retail. When you try to dicker with him, he moans about how he has to have that price or he's losing money. At that point, I usually console him for having been taken so badly and move on. He may be the smartest vendor at the show - he only has to sell a couple of guns to make it a profitable weekend.

    The Road Block: Weighing well over 300 pounds, he stands chatting in the middle of the aisle, totally oblivious to the fact that nobody can get by him. It has usually been way too long since he has showered or washed his hair.

    The Jerk Dealer: His (high) prices are non-negotiable, and when you ask him to cut the tie-wrap off the bolt so you can see down the bore, he rolls his eyes. Sure, buddy, I'll just pay your price without inspecting it! Right!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    Douglassville, Pennsylvania
    (Berks County)
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    Default Re: Gun Show Characters

    Quote Originally Posted by fritz1255 View Post
    I*ve been going to gun shows for about 40 years now. I*ve lived in different parts of the country, and have noticed that you seem to see the same sort of characters no matter where the show is. My short list, please feel free to add ones that you have seen:

    Penitentiary Face: Looking like he just stepped off the set of Shawshank Redemption, this guy has a face that would scare Godzilla. One look at him, and now you don*t just want to buy a gun, you NEED to, and you need to do it TODAY! You may not get out of the show alive without one. I'm almost convinced that the promoters hire these guys just to walk around the shows all day - it's bound to increase sales.

    The Museum Curator: Has a huge assortment of rare guns at his table, and it soon becomes obvious why - he is asking about 1.5X to 2X normal retail. When you try to dicker with him, he moans about how he has to have that price or he's losing money. At that point, I usually console him for having been taken so badly and move on. He may be the smartest vendor at the show - he only has to sell a couple of guns to make it a profitable weekend.

    The Road Block: Weighing well over 300 pounds, he stands chatting in the middle of the aisle, totally oblivious to the fact that nobody can get by him. It has usually been way too long since he has showered or washed his hair.

    The Jerk Dealer: His (high) prices are non-negotiable, and when you ask him to cut the tie-wrap off the bolt so you can see down the bore, he rolls his eyes. Sure, buddy, I'll just pay your price without inspecting it! Right!
    You spending your time in the bathroom looking in the mirror? J/K ROFLMAO
    Gender confusion is a mental illness

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2016
    Location
    New London, Pennsylvania
    (Chester County)
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    Default Re: Gun Show Characters

    This is me: The Bottom Feeder: His parents grew up poor during the depression, and they imparted a big time “value of money” thing to this guy. Nothing attracts him more than piles of rusty parts and low prices. He will pick through dozens of rusty receivers looking for the ONE with a good bore. Often finds good deals, but has lots of junk sitting in his basement too.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    Bucks, Pennsylvania
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    Default Re: Gun Show Characters

    Quote Originally Posted by fritz1255 View Post
    This is me: The Bottom Feeder: His parents grew up poor during the depression, and they imparted a big time *value of money* thing to this guy. Nothing attracts him more than piles of rusty parts and low prices. He will pick through dozens of rusty receivers looking for the ONE with a good bore. Often finds good deals, but has lots of junk sitting in his basement too.
    If I want to pay full price, I'll do so at a venue with good lighting, no crowds, AC or heat, indoor plumbing that doesn't look like a mass machete killing event, at a time convenient to me.

    If I have to stand in line, sample aerosolized body odor and farts, early in the morning, 50 miles away, choosing from an utterly random selection of things I wasn't looking for, then I want a bargain.
    Last edited by GunLawyer001; April 2nd, 2023 at 03:53 PM.
    Attorney Phil Kline, AKA gunlawyer001@gmail.com
    Ce sac n'est pas un jouet.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    SEPA, Pennsylvania
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    Default Re: Gun Show Characters

    Mister "Thank me for my service"

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Upper Merion, Pennsylvania
    (Montgomery County)
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    Default Re: Gun Show Characters

    Every venue attracts its own stereotype. I was at a shop dozens of miles away from the gun show where I spotted a family. Without even asking I knew they were at the gun show by the way they looked and dressed. I am sure if you go to plumbers convention, you'll notice their own crowds. Our gun show crowds can be more or less described as hillbillies. You can tell that right in the parking lot; beat up pick up trucks with assorted stickers everywhere.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    Glenmoore, Pennsylvania
    (Chester County)
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    65
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    Default Re: Gun Show Characters

    The Yard Sale: Guy walking around with a rifle slung over his shoulder, with a dowel down the barrel and a sign at the top, For Sale.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Mar 2015
    Location
    York, Pennsylvania
    (York County)
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    Default Re: Gun Show Characters

    you forgot a few.

    1. the old guys with white/grey hair who look at price tags in disgust and proceed to tell the dealer "I remember when I could get these for $3 in a pickle barrel at Joe the motorists". They are there only to kill time and suck the life from every other show goer and dealer so that they can live to see the next show and cast their bitterness on everyone there.

    2. The young guys with tie dye hair who pick up a Mosin from a sellers table without asking. They proceed to tell their buddies mostly incorrect information based off of his video game and 40 seconds of wikipedia research and then racks the bolt and dry fires the rifle 493 times. He then returns the rifle to the table (with more wear from him handling it than during WWII) because he only has $4 in his pocket and isnt there to buy anything.

    3. The "collectors" who proceed to tell the dealer about the guns on their table. Most of his information is incorrect but he is very confident. (met a guy this weekend who told me that American 7.62 x 51 ammo will work in a Russian rifle but not the other way around. His experience was that he was told this during the Cold War when he was in Germany.

    4. the cheap asses. They are always there to beat the piss out of every dealer and think they are entitled to a 40% discount because they paid the promoter a $15 bill to get in the door. They aren't really there to buy...more to see what they can get for nothing. They leave the show and get in their $60,000 truck, drive to the mall and pay full price for a NIKE or UA sweatshirt riding high on how they got one over on a small business owner.

    5. The "I have one of these at home and want to check the price on it" guys. They ask several questions about a specific firearm on a dealers table with no intention of ever purchasing it. Their only interest is to gauge what their stuff at home is worth.

    6. The social butterfly. These guys float from aisle to aisle, table to table, telling stories of the good old days when horseless motor carriages roamed the cobblestone streets, and when you could buy a double barrel shotgun from Abercrombie and Fitch for $1.50 and shoot pheasants from the roof of the farmhouse.

    7. The guy with warrants. These are the cats that come up to a dealers table and pick up the cheapest gun, the AR-15, or some other rifle and asks "do you do paperwork on this?" The dealer replies "Yes", and he quietly puts the gun down and walks away.

    8. The uneducated female scarecrow. The baby momma who is pushing the baby stroller who quietly stands by and lets her man pick out a pistol he wants and then they both walk away. She returns later to sit down and fill out the paperwork for him whilst unknowingly committing a felony by straw purchase. She will later be visited by the DA's office when her man is arrested with her pistol.

    9. The runners. These guys literally run or walk far too fast around the shows at break neck speed. They pick up and handle a gun for 3 seconds and offer hundreds less than tag price. When turned down, they throw the gun down and run to the next table. These are often times resellers who are operating without an FFL and think they are flying under the radar.

    10. The socially inept aisle chokers. These are the guys who come to a show with a group of others or their family. They proceed to meet another group of aisle chokers that they magically know from work or some other place. They then proceed to stand 14 people wide in the middle of the aisle and converse for 45 minutes about stupid crap or Bambi blasting stories. They choke the aisle while other show goers cant get around them. They block dealers tables from patrons. They are oblivious to anyone outside of their real tree camo group discussion. When the conversation ends, they break up and meet again two aisles further down the show to repeat the same process.

    Ive been going to shows all over the country on both sides of the table. Its all the same, and I have some great stories. The misinformation is rampant in the gun industry. Manners are almost non-existent. sometimes, the most fun at the show comes from people watching!

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Location
    lewistown, Pennsylvania
    (Mifflin County)
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    Default Re: Gun Show Characters

    my favorites
    1. the gun snobs = shit talking any cheap branded gun , hi points etc . they know 4-5 people , whose cousins , brothers , aunts coworkers friend got maimed in a blown-up gun . yet the american companies with 100% warranty is still in business after all the "lawsuits " .
    2. the dealer victims = the ones that blame their low sales on anything , while standing talking to their non purchasing friends for an hour , ignoring you standing beside the friend with a hand full of cash . which i have a 3 glance rule . 3rd glance with no acknowledgement ? i walk away .
    3. the fondlers = they stop and pick up everything they cant afford , and then simply walk away . if you cant afford ? dont want ? dont like the price ? dont touch.
    4. the classifiers= they look at the crowd , determine which one has the cash look . then only try to sell to them . nothing like waiting to purchase their product , while they try to sell to passerbys or grazers .
    5. the permission seekers = they think that they can sell the idea to their wives by showing it to them in person.
    6. the lowball non buyers = if you make an offer? be planning on buying . absolute lowest class thing to do . offer pennies and then back out when they call your bluff .
    7. lowball dealers = they offer half price on anything floating around for sale on the floor , while their prices are non negotiable and double the price of the offer . offer a fair price ? you may get a little meat on the bone . if not ? good job , you just helped the nonffl-s to flip the same gun at a lesser profit , but still worthy profit .
    8. the profilers = walk around , shifty eyeing everyone like a fed or a walmart theft prevention worker .ps , drop the khakis and the latte or manbun .
    9-100? the aisle blockers mentioned by everyone else . absolutely hated by everyone else at the show .

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    PENNSYLVANIA, Pennsylvania
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    Default Re: Gun Show Characters

    A pocket of cash and spend very few dollars .Rather get better deals at my LGS ! And don't have to deal with smelly man in the crowded isles !

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