A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.


'Not a chance,' says the husband, 'it is 3:00 in the morning!' He slams the door and returns to bed.


'Who was that?' asked his wife.

'Just some drunk guy asking for a push,' he answers.

'Did you help him?' she asks.

'No, I did not, it is 3:00 in the morning and it is pouring rain out there!'


'Well, you have a short memory,' says his wife. 'Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!'


The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain.

He calls out into the dark, 'Hello, are you still there?'


'Yes,' comes back the answer.


'Do you still need a push?' calls out the husband.


'Yes, please!' comes the reply from the dark.


'Where are you?' asks the husband.

'Over here on the swing,' replied the drunk.

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A trucker came into a truck stop cafe and placed his order. He said, "I
want three flat tires, a pair of headlights and pair of running boards."

The brand new blonde waitress, not wanting to appear stupid, went to the kitchen and said to the cook, "This guy out there just ordered three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards. What does he think this place is, an auto parts store?"

"No," the cook said. "Three flat tires mean three pancakes, a pair of
headlights is two eggs sunny side up, and running boards are 2 slices of
crisp bacon."

"Oh, OK!" said the blonde. She thought about it for a moment and then
spooned up a bowl of beans and gave it to the customer.

The trucker asked, "What are the beans for, Blondie?"

I LOVE THIS ONE...........
She replied, "I thought while you were waiting
for the flat tires, headlights and running boards,
you might as well gas up!"

FOR ONCE THE BLONDE GETS EVEN!
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