Neighbor complaint/conflict. Opinions?

[markshere2]

Great result.

A soft voice turneth away wrath, but a soft voice and a big fucking gun commands a lot more respect.

Glad it worked out.

[esh21167]

I bet he went home and bitched to his wife about how unreasonable you were being and she set him straight.

I do believe that is very, very likely.

[GunLawyer001]

FWIW, there have been more than a few times I was a dick to someone in the heat of the moment, and it took my wife telling me so to make me go back and make it right. Fair enough. Kudos on him for whatever perceived 'swallowing his pride' necessary to do so.

I agree with the 'If you treat me like a dog, I'll lift my leg on you" idea. Yet my general sentiment is I'll always work with a neighbor who asks nicely / presents an issue reasonably. In most cases I'd go MORE than half-way to find an agreeable compromise with them.

Example: I own some rural property reached via an easement. The owner of the underlying property wanted a locked gate. The existing gate blocked my property too, and he had a bad habit of changing-out the lock on it without telling me. Went round-and-round with him about it. Offered to pay to move the gate 20' so it blocked his property but not mine (Ironic, since I was fully in favor of having a gate). Offered to pay to install a "code" lock so no key was required. Bent over backward and it was all just "no". He was just pissed off I had the easement.

I was tempted to go get the Bobcat and just knock down enough trees I could drive around the gate. My wife talked me outta that one.

Eventually I just kept a pair of bolt-cutters in the car and if he changed the lock I'd cut it off.

Never did get that one worked out until he died. His son took it over. The son came to me about the 'gate' problem and I said "Sure. Either we just both agree to not change the padlock, or I'll pay to implement solution A, B or C, whaddya want?" Problem immediately fixed (we just agreed to stop with the padlock-change game).

So yeah, it's a shame he didn't "go high" from the get-go. But sounds like all's well that ends well.

Yep, it takes 2 to agree, but only 1 to be a dick and make any situation intolerable.

The woke folk don't get that, in their perpetual whining about cops not "defusing" situations involving career offenders, drugged-up losers, and deranged loonies. The best cops in the world are still going to have to shoot a few people now and then, as long as we have a few people with anger management issues or violent delusions, or just don't feel like respecting the rights of anyone else.

Similarly, it's not always "both their faults" when a couple break up. People have a complex set of motivators and beliefs and delusions, and if someone doesn't want to play nice, it doesn't matter how fair or understanding the other person is. People aren't machines, or if they are, they're machines running amateur programming. Sometimes it's like having a pet shark; he's just never going to view you as "daddy", he's more likely to eat your arm some day, because that's how he rolls.

[JAKIII]

All's well that end well. It does pay to have a cool head and de-escalate.

My goal is to someday have acreage enough (like you) that I can take a piss in my yard without the neighbors seeing my noodle, but I digress.

Like you, I always try to take the high road with neighborly issues and be the adult in the room. Good outcome.

[FUNDAMENTALS]

That is an OUTSTANDING compromise. If he does not like it, go ahead with your timeline/build.

[free]

So I recently had a timber harvest on my 10 acre property and have started some cleanup for firewood/etc. Yesterday my neighbor (with whom I've had a good relationship for 4 years) comes down while I'm cutting some firewood and goes off about 'me f***ing up his hunting, running that saw every day, I haven't seen a deer real time or on my camera in 4 weeks, you can do what you want/it's your property, but if you don't stop, we are NOT going to be neighborly anymore.'

I calmed him down and said that wasn't my intent. We're kind of on a schedule to prepare a pasture and run-in for a horse or two, so if we wait 2 months, then we're approaching winter and might have to board the horse over winter for at least $250/month if we can't get the clearing done/building and fence up. He relaxed, but still is going on about 'we're a hunting family, I have $400 in licenses, that's how we feed our family, I bought my place for hunting. If you wait until deer season is over (almost 2 months), we'll help you clean up.' I told him we'll figure something out and talk later this weekend.

Conflicted. Who is he to 'tell' me what I can do? What if they started building a house on the property on the other side of his with construction going on? He'll try to tell them to stop? During our short conversation I mentioned a rift with another neighbor who tried to hunt on my property without permission. (That guy is a problem with nearly everyone around him.) He acknowledged that but said 'I don't care about anybody else. I care about me.' That says a lot.

OTOH, I'd like to keep the peace, but if I compromise with him, I'm potentially going to be putting out an extra $1500-$2000 for boarding the horse until spring, and have a pile of lumber and fencing lying around that I've already ordered and paid for.

Just interested in the feelings of others.

That's a big "Fuck off, neighbor!"

[scruff]

Thanks all. He sent me a text offering to come over with his teenage boys today (Sunday) and help with clearing. I think his wife (who is very chill) might have told him he went off the rails. If he's calmed down and apologetic, and offers help every Sunday, I think I'll just say that this is what I have to do, but I'll try to avoid sawing through those dusk hours. We'll see how it goes.

And his initial threat of being 'not being neighborly' meant we'll just have no communication/relationship at all. Update later tonight for those following the drama, lol.

That sounds great. Now thank him and ask him to give you the opportunity to return the favor someday (assuming he actually follows through)

[bigandy1966]

I had a buddy, years ago he had this huge buck he would see every day he was cutting the grass with his push lawn mower, under his apple tree, gorging on the windfall fruit.He could get almst to touching distance.
Every time he went to the edge of the woods with a bow the buck NEVER came out.
One day he saw the buck out eating the last few apples,
So he velcroed his bow to the handle of the mower and started it up, cut the grass like he would normally do and walked right up to that buck and dropped him in his shadow.
Deer dont give a shit about chainsaws, rototillers farm equipment etc.
In the midwest a farmer told me he would be running the harvester on the standing corn, The deer bedded in the corn would get up, move 20 rows over and lie down again like it was nothing. At the end of the field they stood there looking at him and the empty field like they were pissed off, then went into the neighbors corn.

[jthrelf]

I bet he went home and bitched to his wife about how unreasonable you were being and she set him straight.

Women tend to be pretty good at that...

Glad it seems like everything is settling out.

[Bang]

Pennsylvania strip minors told of deer sniffing the radiator of a idling dozer. I had a herd advance toward me with every shot from my .22 pistol (I was not shooting to hit any). They are curious critters. And they get used to their environment. Especially if they are born into it.