threat of PFA

[spatchpatch]

Well this is my first thread, but I have been reading here a long time.

This is not a short story, but I i will keep it as brief as possible.

Basically, I signed a lease with my (now ex) girlfriend and her mother. At the time, it seemed like the right thing to do. I was moving to be close to school, and they were living under a complete slumlord - no heat, no running water, and a nasty flea infestation. We had been dating nearly five years, so I really thought I knew what I was doing, and was helping them.

About a week after we signed the lease, I found out she had been dating someone else for some time. It continued, despite her assurances that it would end. I tried to forgive her, and I had hoped it would work out, especially in light of the year lease we were in together. Eventually, she dropped the pretense of ending her other relationship, and started openly seeing him.

Despite my obvious -and recently acquired- discomfort with living there, I have been. But she can be...argumentative... and especially so when she is drinking. Moreover, just about everything turns into a two-on-one, given that it is her and her mother. I do try to avoid being goaded into arguments, but it is sometimes difficult.

So they say they will look for someone to replace me, amicably, on the lease. But if you knew them, you would have as little hope that this will happen as I do. I have been hearing this for nearly two months. I cannot find a sublet on my own, because it is necessary that they approve the new person since all of our names are on the lease - they will not approve anyone that they don't already know, hence my trepidation that it will never happen.

I have spoken to a lawyer friend, who assures me that I cannot get out without both of their (and the landlord's) signatures. It may be obvious, but as a grad student I cannot afford a second apartment while I am still stuck paying for this house.

On to the real problem: Recently, her previous flea problem has started to come back - I should have mentioned that she has five cats, which have something to do with the problem. I have been sleeping in my office to avoid them - If I sleep there I get flea bites in the night, and even when I just stop there to shower and do laundry I find myself pulling fleas off my jeans, t-shirt, and arms. This has made it impossible for me to live there any longer.

Now, I have insisted to her that she take care of the flea problem, as it stemmed from her cats and previous house. At this point, I believe that we need an exterminator. I have told her that I would speak to the landlord if she will not take care of it - We have had this conversation at least four times now. Each time, her response is that, if I complain about her cats to the landlord, she will file for a PFA. Basically, she will not deal with the flea problem because it does not seem to bother her, or her mother (?!?).

Now, from what I have read (mostly here), if she asks for one and makes things up, then the PFA is as good as granted. My lawyer-friend seems to think this would allow me to break the lease (although I am unsure), but what really bothers me - and she knows it - is that it may/will affect my ability to own and carry firearms.

So I feel pretty screwed. I don't know if I should cut my losses and live in my office until the lease is up, pay for the exterminator myself (and hope her threat of a PFA doesn't come up for any other whim she may have), go to the landlord and hope she doesn't screw me, or anything else. Again, my lawyer-friend had suggested that if i could get her threat in writing (text) that it may help - I don't see this happening. I'm not sure if it is legal for me to record her in my house without her permission, but even if it is, and I had evidence that her claim is BS, from what I've read it seems it may not matter anyway.

I guess I'm asking for suggestions. I think I can weather most of this, aside from the fleas, as long as I don't have to be worried that she can, based on false accusations, make me lose my right to carry.

Thanks in advance.

[McSull]

You need to leave the residence. She is openly dating someone else? Get your shit and get out. Cut your losses. You have lost money and a relationship (good riddance). Dont lose any more. Find a new place to live. Sleep in a tent somewhere if you have to.

[eatmydust]

Unfortunately, it seems you are screwed no matter your decision. I hope that you can eventually escape this hellish scenario without serious damage financially or legally. While I don't have any good legal advice, I do have an idea that should minimize the flea problem in your office.

1)Install a leyed lock on the office door and keep it locked at all times.
2)Buy a bunch of glue cards from a hardware/big box store and keep several of them deployed in your office.
3)Minimize your contact with those witches and move on a.s.a.p.

Hope this helps and sorry for your situation, learn from it.

[Democrat Gun Owner]

Why can't the "new" boyfriend sublet the apartment from you?

[philadelphia patriot]

I'll pray for you.

[Tmygun]

How do they stand the fleas???!!! I have one smaller dog that was badly infested last summer and I couldn't stand those little crumbs. It took two applications a month of Advantage until we got them under control, then one application per month as usual. The poor little guy got them from just walking around the neighborhood, didn't even let him in any fields or anything. This past spring I started him early on the flea preventative and he hasn't had one flea. I swore I wasn't going through that again. They would bite my arms and legs, the poor dog was scratching all the time, just miserable. It wasn't until I read on the box of Advantage, that for bad infestations you may need to treat them more than once a month for a while. That killed them all and things got back to normal. This spring and summer I've been using FrontLine Plus for fleas and ticks, and it's been very effective. But it's on the expensive side, so I doubt your ex will want to pay to treat all those cats.

[Boo Vuccla]

1. Treat the damn cats with Wal-Mart's Frontline Plus for three straight months. Vacuum often and empty the vac each time outside the place! Stopping treating once we get some heavy frosts.
2. Post this with Dear Abby. Not here! Your Conceal Carry Permit is the least of your problems.
3. By tissues, strong reading glasses and a razor to shave your hand! Your college degree beats anything she can give you including VD.
4. When all else fails, run! Run long and hard far far away.

[Gun]

At this point, I believe that we need an exterminator. I have told her that I would speak to the landlord if she will not take care of it - We have had this conversation at least four times now. Each time, her response is that, if I complain about her cats to the landlord, she will file for a PFA. Basically, she will not deal with the flea problem because it does not seem to bother her, or her mother (?!?).

Remove the firearms from your possession, complain to the landlord about the fleas. Let her file the PFA. She will have to answer to the judge on the grounds for a temporary PFA, before a hearing is set. IANAL.

She can go through this hassle, or let you out of the lease.

Fleas are not attracted to all people equally.

[birdwooddog]

You need to leave the residence. She is openly dating someone else? Get your shit and get out. Cut your losses. You have lost money and a relationship (good riddance). Dont lose any more. Find a new place to live. Sleep in a tent somewhere if you have to.

Cut your losses.....
Stay in the office for the remainder of the lease. Can you shower at school or at a health club?

[bamboomaster]

Don't spend another nickel of emotional capital on this relationship. When honesty is absent, it's already over. Be thankful that you learned what a witch you would have had for a mother-in-law and count your blessings.

Pack your bags, clean up the room, close the door on this, move out in the next 30 days, and NEVER look back for you have your entire future ahead of you.

There are guardian angels everywhere, so not to worry - I'm sure some are watching over you...