NeedAdvice

[NeedAdvice]

Ok, Gents and Ladies, here goes:

I am a multi-year forum member who needs to ask some sensitive questions without tying them to my current ID. The mods will readily be able to tell who I am, and can cut me off if needed, but I would hope they do not.

This will jump around. Forgive me. I don't have the desire to play with editing tonight.

My wife has complained that I spend to much time thinking about gun-related things. She took my gun to an undisclosed location almost a year ago until we can 'talk it out'. We haven't talked it out yet.

My only outside activity besides work was pistol matches. At one point I was shooting 800-1000 ronds a month, so I started reloading.

I was out of work from August until Memorial day. Been paying off big chunks of credit card det with new job but it was stresfull.

I got home from work tonight to find her not here, and a note on my computer. She says that until I get professional help she will not live with me. She fears for her safety. She took my gun, she still has her's. I don't threaten, hit or insult her, and even she says that I don't like when anyone says I do.

She went to the basement, which she rarely does, and saw my reloading set-up. I have never hidden it, and talked about it often with other people while she was around, so not news. The fact that it was on a cluttered table (I haven't loaded since my last match, no need to straighten) and near the water heater (aka "open flame") convinced her that I don't care about anyones safety, so she had my ammo and supplies put into property with the local PD.

She won't respond to phone, text or email until I am actively seeking treatment. She won't talk to me without a LEO present. As far as I know she has not filed a PFA.

I want to get my stuff back from the PD. Its a cuple thousand dollars worth of 230g .45ACP. About 1200-1800 factory Remington FMJ, about 1000 reloads lead/plated, about 800 plated bullets, 1000 polymer coated bullets, 700-800 primers and a pound an a half of powder. I don't want to go to PD if I will have trouble with the LEO's, but I don't wanna lose the money.

I love her a lot. Its mutual. Really.


This is hard to follow, even for me. But, I'm having a bad day. Looking for any advice from the head. Maybe from the heart. Not looking for macho, anti-woman comments.

[JAKIII]

Sorry you felt the need to hide your already virtual identity. Nonetheless, good luck with your marriage... positive thoughts coming your way.

[mosseater]

Based on what I see in your OP, she has a huge case of ignorance, followed closely by an overdose of arrogance. She needs to get ejimicated, IMHO. What is her background, re firearms??? If you've never threatened her, how does she get this idea you need "treatment"? You have preferences, she has preferences. They don't match. One of you needs to get your mind right. I'm thinking it 's her. Staying tuned to see how this develops.

[Cyclops]

I think you need to suggest joint counseling with a good psychotherapist or marriage counselor. It is obvious to me from what you wrote that you and she have had a total breakdown in communications. Without honest and communication a marriage is most likely doomed. Hard financial times often lead to hard emotional times. You have to tackle them in reverse order -- the emotional first and then the financial. Keep in mind that guns and ammo will not solve your problems. You need to decide what your personal objective is and pursue it. If if it to reconcile with your wife, then go for it. If it is to get your gun and ammo gear back, hire a lawyer.

[pennlineman]

My first wife tried to be very controlling, right down to what I could eat. I didn't hate her for it but I wasn't going to live that way. I got lawyer and moved on. Only you know how much you're willing to take and how much the relationship is worth to you. A bit of advice, if it does go south don't sweat the small stuff, the fight gets expensive. It can all be replaced in time anyways. My second wife has been nothing but supportive of my activities.

Good luck.

[Palerider]

What does she want you to seek treatment for? Seriously, you've got reloading equipment to save money and it sounds like only one or 2 guns, there's probably 50 million people like you in the US.

I can't offer too many words of wisdom except to say ask the PD to return your reloading equipment, go buy another gun and tell her you'll seek marriage counseling together (if you want) because the problem is with your relationship, not guns.

[sinkrun]

Get a lawyer and run far away lifes way to short.

[R.A.D.]

Ok, Gents and Ladies, here goes:
...she took my gun to an undisclosed location almost a year ago until we can 'talk it out'. We haven't talked it out yet.


...I got home from work tonight to find her not here, and a note on my computer. She says that until I get professional help she will not live with me. She fears for her safety.


...so she had my ammo and supplies put into property with the local PD.


...She won't respond to phone, text or email until I am actively seeking treatment. She won't talk to me without a LEO present.


...I don't want to go to PD if I will have trouble with the LEO's, but I don't wanna lose the money.

.

sorry if this sounds mean but what she's done is pretty inexcusable. She put your stuff into the hands of the law? You already have a spotlight put on anything you do from here on in... Ever hear about the study where a perfectly sane person was in an asylum and acted completely normal, yet all the dr's easily diagnosed his with all sorts of "diseases"? That's kinda how the police may see any action, even the most benign SO TREAD CAUTIOUSLY!

Are you sane? If you can honestly say yes (with 3rd party perspective to corroborate this) maybe SHE is the one with issues... Do you believe that she will EVER feel comfortable around you again, seeing as she already moved out for her safety? Or will she always be looking for that one thing that is suspicious?

[American1776]

For what it's worth, my wife has given me the 'guns are more important to you than me' line. And it's really pissed me off, b/c both her and I know that's not true.

I think it's time to get a lawyer; right now. I haven't gone through this sort of stuff, but from what other's have told me over years, when things get ugly, even between two people who love one another, things can still get ugly. She took your gun. She won't answer your calls. You need to legally protect yourself NOW. In our society, men are not given the benefit of the doubt in marital disputes of any kind.

Down the road, if you two can work this out, all the better. But she's seemed to have gone AWOL, and you need legal protection as priority number one.

[bamboomaster]

Ok, Gents and Ladies, here goes:

I am a multi-year forum member who needs to ask some sensitive questions without tying them to my current ID. The mods will readily be able to tell who I am, and can cut me off if needed, but I would hope they do not.

This will jump around. Forgive me. I don't have the desire to play with editing tonight.

My wife has complained that I spend to much time thinking about gun-related things. She took my gun to an undisclosed location almost a year ago until we can 'talk it out'. We haven't talked it out yet.

My only outside activity besides work was pistol matches. At one point I was shooting 800-1000 ronds a month, so I started reloading.

I was out of work from August until Memorial day. Been paying off big chunks of credit card det with new job but it was stresfull.

I got home from work tonight to find her not here, and a note on my computer. She says that until I get professional help she will not live with me. She fears for her safety. She took my gun, she still has her's. I don't threaten, hit or insult her, and even she says that I don't like when anyone says I do.

She went to the basement, which she rarely does, and saw my reloading set-up. I have never hidden it, and talked about it often with other people while she was around, so not news. The fact that it was on a cluttered table (I haven't loaded since my last match, no need to straighten) and near the water heater (aka "open flame") convinced her that I don't care about anyones safety, so she had my ammo and supplies put into property with the local PD.

She won't respond to phone, text or email until I am actively seeking treatment. She won't talk to me without a LEO present. As far as I know she has not filed a PFA.

I want to get my stuff back from the PD. Its a cuple thousand dollars worth of 230g .45ACP. About 1200-1800 factory Remington FMJ, about 1000 reloads lead/plated, about 800 plated bullets, 1000 polymer coated bullets, 700-800 primers and a pound an a half of powder. I don't want to go to PD if I will have trouble with the LEO's, but I don't wanna lose the money.

I love her a lot. Its mutual. Really.


This is hard to follow, even for me. But, I'm having a bad day. Looking for any advice from the head. Maybe from the heart. Not looking for macho, anti-woman comments.

Yep, if you love the woman, just sell everything and get your act together.

Is this a problem?

If you're attempting to garner support for an affair, just sell everything and hire an attorney.

A whole pound and a half of powder? Holly shit! When was the last time you vacuumed your floor?

Don't even worry about the prices of whatever ammo you think you own - just sell it at a local gun-shop and hire an attorney.

If there are videos of you, sell your guns and hire an attorney.

If you think you are so smart and there are no videos of you, sell your guns and hire an attorney.

Based on the very limited information you provided, you're gonna get screwed. It's not like you're A FEMALE and having a baby.

If indeed you're having a baby, be sure to change them (probably sucks to be a girlfriend with you), and teach them how to shoot.