If you work in IT...

[MTechnik]

... this is the most amazing distillation of awesome EVER.

[lildobe]

Oh god that brings back such horrible memories!

[Ten*K]

that was awe-inspiring. I got out of computers a few years ago, and every once in a while I call up my dad at work (systems admin) and bust his balls with some made up IT issues. He gets mad after a bit cause he's HAD people call him for the same issues that I tried to make up.

[Kaos]

Yep...that's what it's like.

even better are the guys who think they know more than you and criticize/comment everything you do.


Then you find out they're the reason stuff's broken.

[DarthJoe]

Though my tenure in IT has been short (only in the field about 5 years), there are things that I have learned that I feel may be relevant to this thread...

1) As long as the world turns, users will still have problems

2) Substance abusers and computer operators are the only folks called users. This isn't by chance

3) When in doubt. Reboot

4) Sooner or later you will meet a person who types out the words "backslash" or forgets to plug in the power cord. If you haven't yet, just wait, you will

5) Fear the phone. No one just calls tech support to wish you good morning

6) No user will tell you the whole truth at the beginning of a call

7) "I didn't do anything" or "It just happened" Are the users mantra

8) As a support tech, it is your job to break down resistance and get the truth

9) This is so you can rub the lie in their face, fixing the issue is just a perk

10) Some people will never learn

11) This means you will always have a job

12) Maintain a calm voice, even if you're screaming on the inside

13) The hold button is your friend

14) Whatever you do, don't panic

15) The answer to all users questions should be "Trust me, I know what I'm doing" even if this is a bald-faced lie

16) Users can smell fear. Once you've lost control, all is lost

17) A user who is not listening to you anymore, but rather is trying "their own thing" is not worth your time. Simulate a telephone disconnect and hang up. Trust me, you're better off.

18) Sometimes fixing a computer is easier than figuring out why it was broken

19) Users always want a reason things are fixed. If you're not sure just lie. They won't know anyway. "A stray electron passed through the processor and caused..."

20) If possible ask to speak to the youngest person present

[JayBell]

I agree, that just AWESOME

[djturnz]

"You can't arrange icons by Penis" That made me laugh out loud in the middle of a quiet office.

[stephpd]

So my take on it is that it's more important to play Halo at work. That guy is way quicker then I'll ever be at the keyboard. Or does having it sped up just make it seem that way.

[LowFlyer]

I can't see the image here at work (stupid ITs)!, but from the other posts, here is something I used to supply to the 'users':

Computer Problem Report Form

1. Describe your problem: (please use only the space provided) __________
2. Now, describe the problem accurately: (please use only the space provided) __________
3. Speculate wildly about the cause of the problem: (please use only the space provided)__________
4. Problem Severity:
A. Minor __
B. Trivial __
5. Nature of the problem:
A. Locked Up __
B. Frozen __
C. Strange Smell __
6. Is it turned on? Yes __ No __
7. Have you tried to fix it yourself? Yes __ No __
8. Have you made it worse? Yes __
9. Have you had a friend who knows all about computers try to fix it for you? Yes __ No __
10. Did they make it even worse? Yes __
11. Have you read the manual? Yes __ No __
12. Are you sure you've read the manual? Maybe __ No __
13. Are you absolutely certain you've read the manual? No__
14. If you read the manual, do you think you understood it? Yes __ No__
15. If Yes, then explain why you can't fix the problem yourself.
16. What were you doing with your computer at the time the problem occurred? ____________
17. If you answered "nothing," then explain why you were logged in?
18. Are you sure you aren't imagining the problem? Yes __ No __
19. Does the clock on your home VCR blink 12:00? Yes __
What's a VCR? __
20. Do you have a copy of "PCs for Dummies?" Yes __ No __
21. Do you have any independent witnesses to the problem? Yes __ No __
22. Do you have any electronics products that DO work? Yes __ No__
23. Is there anyone else you could blame this problem on? Yes __ No __
24. Have you given the machine a good whack on the top? Yes __ No __
25. Is the machine on fire? Yes __ Not Yet __

Response will be given on a “First Come, First Served” basis and will have a 2-5 day wait time.

Thank you for filling out the form.

We are here to serve you.

Your network administrator.

[MTechnik]

I agree, that just AWESOME

At first it's barely worth the time to watch it...

then it gets funny...

then it gets really funny...

then you are crying because it is too funny.