Men Are Just Simpler and Happier People

[1blindref]

I don't know if you've seen this before, but I got this email and wanted to share a laugh.



NICKNAMES

If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

EATING OUT

When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50.
None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS

A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.
A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

CATS

Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

FUTURE

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night

OFFSPRING

Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children.
She knows about dental appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY FROM ALL THIS

A married man should forget his mistakes.
There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!

[Dave in PA]

I kind of hate to say this, but I can directly relate to most of what is written!

[ihunt49]

Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

That's some funny chit right there!

[625]

I find that there is some truth in all of those except cats, nicknames, success, and offspring. I suppose Cletus the slack-jawed yokel could relate to these. Well, even he knew all 26 of his kids' names.

Funny post, though.

[WVBob]

And your point is??????????????????????

[tes151]

I resemble that.......

[DCChris]

That's not a joke, that's a biography!!!!!!