Close Call with a Large Angry Man

[bagman29]

This literally just happened so I hope I’m describing it correctly, if not, please ask me to clarify. I’m posting here to hopefully get some constructive criticism on how I could have handled the situation better.


I was driving home from picking up some fast food for my family for dinner. I was approaching a Turkey Hill on my left side and I saw a shouting match that looked to me like it could get physical at any second between a man and two women. From my initial assumptions, it looked like a possible road rage incident. The women’s car was in front and the man’s car was parked very close behind them so they could not back up or get out of their parking spot. They were pointing out to the road, but I could not make out what they were saying. The man was nearly as tall as the roof of his Ford F250, and rather large.
I pulled my car into a parking spot five spaces away, with them to my left. As I was pulling in, a vehicle parked in the spot directly beside me to my left, blocking my view. I had my phone in my hand with 911 already keyed in and I was waiting to hit send if it seemed to me like it was warranted. Since my view was blocked, I exited my vehicle and went to the rear of my vehicle and pretended to text someone as I was listening to them scream back and forth. All I could make out was the older woman telling the man to get back in his truck and him calling the younger woman a psychopath. The younger woman moved to the passenger side of the vehicle (I believe) she was riding in originally. As she moved to the passenger side of the vehicle, my view was blocked by the vehicle parked directly to their right. I saw the man follow her, reach back and slap the younger woman.
I hit send on my phone, but before the operator picked up I saw him get into his vehicle and drive through the parking lot in my direction. As he was driving I was trying to get a good description of both him and his truck. He drove by me, made eye contact and said, “That’s my daughter, I don’t know what the fuck you’re looking at motherfucker.”
I said, “Sir, just keep driving.” I think the 911 operator picked up around that time but I couldn’t tell because I was moving my phone to my left hand so I had easy access to my firearm in case things escalated. I still had not spoken to the operator but I know she was on the line listening because I could hear the “tones” you hear when you call 911.
He said, “Yeah? You want me to keep driving? How about I get out of this truck and blacken your eyes and beat the shit out of you?” I did not reply. He opened his car door, and I took a defensive stance and placed my hand on my firearm. I know he could not see my firearm, but I’m guessing he assumed that’s what I was reaching for because he closed his car door and sped off. The two women left the parking lot right after he did.
I finally talked to the operator and gave her the first 4 of his license plate and a description of the vehicle. I told her it sounded like a domestic issue and the other two women had already driven off. She took my name and phone number and we hung up.

[Mango]

JUST MADE IT A BIT EASY TO READ.

I was driving home from picking up some fast food for my family for dinner. I was approaching a Turkey Hill on my left side and I saw a shouting match that looked to me like it could get physical at any second between a man and two women.

From my initial assumptions, it looked like a possible road rage incident. The women’s car was in front and the man’s car was parked very close behind them so they could not back up or get out of their parking spot. They were pointing out to the road, but I could not make out what they were saying. The man was nearly as tall as the roof of his Ford F250, and rather large.


I pulled my car into a parking spot five spaces away, with them to my left. As I was pulling in, a vehicle parked in the spot directly beside me to my left, blocking my view. I had my phone in my hand with 911 already keyed in and I was waiting to hit send if it seemed to me like it was warranted. Since my view was blocked, I exited my vehicle and went to the rear of my vehicle and pretended to text someone as I was listening to them scream back and forth.


All I could make out was the older woman telling the man to get back in his truck and him calling the younger woman a psychopath. The younger woman moved to the passenger side of the vehicle (I believe) she was riding in originally. As she moved to the passenger side of the vehicle, my view was blocked by the vehicle parked directly to their right. I saw the man follow her, reach back and slap the younger woman.


I hit send on my phone, but before the operator picked up I saw him get into his vehicle and drive through the parking lot in my direction. As he was driving I was trying to get a good description of both him and his truck. He drove by me, made eye contact and said, “That’s my daughter, I don’t know what the fuck you’re looking at motherfucker.”


I said, “Sir, just keep driving.” I think the 911 operator picked up around that time but I couldn’t tell because I was moving my phone to my left hand so I had easy access to my firearm in case things escalated. I still had not spoken to the operator but I know she was on the line listening because I could hear the “tones” you hear when you call 911.


He said, “Yeah? You want me to keep driving? How about I get out of this truck and blacken your eyes and beat the shit out of you?” I did not reply. He opened his car door, and I took a defensive stance and placed my hand on my firearm. I know he could not see my firearm, but I’m guessing he assumed that’s what I was reaching for because he closed his car door and sped off. The two women left the parking lot right after he did.


I finally talked to the operator and gave her the first 4 of his license plate and a description of the vehicle. I told her it sounded like a domestic issue and the other two women had already driven off. She took my name and phone number and we hung up.

[mpan72]

I might not have said anything to him at all. Was he so much bigger than you that you were in fear of a serious beating if it got physical? I ask this in all seriousness not to sound like a prick. All in all I think you handled it well. Nice to see someone looking out for a stranger.

[jb44336]

I think you were in the right. The way I was raised, "Not saying anything to him" is not an option. I say good job.. Way to be a real man.

[Svickstc]

Ya I would of kept my mouth shut and at a distance initially and watched for a bit from a distance to see if things escalated...

Im sorry im not someones problem solver and not going to get into a middle of a domestic dispute as some vigilant(it can get ugly real fast) and some really pissed off dude is just going to get totally more pissed off snooping in his business ending in what could be possible use of deadly force then some jury throwing it back at you and doing time...

Next time keep a distance if things got physical then yes i probably would have said something or taken a little more action...

Just my "quick" 2 cents

edit: not that i think you shouldn't say something, i just would not because you always have to think of what could happen and what are the outcomes and consequences of what just took place....Always need to be thinking multiple steps ahead in a situation

you also need to understand your states laws of use of deadly force as you may have just instigated the use of deadly force by involving your self in a situation were not needed...if it so was his daughter maybe she just failed out of college and telling him for the first time (its that time of year) maybe something else...if if did not get physical IMO stay out of the business end of whats going on

[mpan72]

I think you were in the right. The way I was raised, "Not saying anything to him" is not an option. I say good job.. Way to be a real man.

The way I was raised was to tell him to go fuck himself and dare him to get out of the truck.

I grew up and decided to let douche bags be douche bags.

[bagman29]

I might not have said anything to him at all. Was he so much bigger than you that you were in fear of a serious beating if it got physical? I ask this in all seriousness not to sound like a prick. All in all I think you handled it well. Nice to see someone looking out for a stranger.

I'm still young enough to think I can hold my own against damn near anyone. The fact that he was already physically violent with someone else, communicated his intent to do harm to me, and the possibility of losing control of my firearm in a physical altercation to someone who was already emotionally compromised lead me to believe that presenting a firearm may have been the best option.

[mpan72]

I'm still young enough to think I can hold my own against damn near anyone. The fact that he was already physical with someone else, communicated his intent to do harm to me, and the possibility of losing control if my firearm in a physical altercation to someone who was already emotionally compromised lead me to believe that presenting a firearm may have been the best option.

To be honest that comment dosen't sound like you would have been in fear of serious injury. If you ever have to shoot someone don't speak to anyone untill you have your lawyer present.

[TonyF]

It's often difficult to determine if we handle a situation OK when we're a third party (not directly involved).

One of the things to consider is that it wasn't apparent it was a domestic until the fellow mentioned the younger woman was his daughter. Point is it is extremely dangerous to inject oneself into a domestic dispute. Any police officer can confirm that as a fact. It's very dangerous because many times the "victims" will turn on you if you confront the "aggressor" which in this case would seem to indicate the father.

We are justified in using deadly force to protect a third party if the criteria of imminent death or serious bodily harm is satisfied. OTOH, until it gets to that point, being a good witness and calling 911 immediately is, IMO, the most practical and prudent thing to do in a situation like this.

[TonyF]

The way I was raised was to tell him to go fuck himself and dare him to get out of the truck.

I grew up and decided to let douche bags be douche bags.

This is really, really, really good advice.

Check your testosterone at the door when you leave your house armed.