Campus Carry Proofread

[imburning]

Hey everyone, I figured that maybe I could try and get my university to change their firearms policy, so here is an email I'm hoping to send to the university chief of police (I figured that would be a good place to start). I was hoping you guys could proofread it and give me your thoughts/opinions:

Dear Chief -----,

I am a currently a junior here at Lehigh University and I wanted to contact you with a concern of mine. Currently, Lehigh has a no firearms policy that I feel may not be in the best interest of the students. Especially in the current political environment and given recent events, I believe that this is an extremely important topic to address and should be discussed. What I would like to propose is that Lehigh change its firearms policy to allow students with a valid Pennsylvania License to Carry Firearms to carry on campus.
Recently in the daily announcement emails, I have been seeing the Lehigh University Police Department’s notice that sexual assault defense classes (R.A.D. Training) are being offered to the female members of the Lehigh community. If providing women with a means to protect themselves is encouraged, why not allow students with a means of legal self defense utilize their options?
Many people say that Lehigh’s campus is very safe. I would be inclined to agree with them; I believe the LUPD does a very good job. However, that does not mean the campus is crime free. For example, just earlier this year a student was robbed at the flagpole (which I would reasonably assume is considered the center of the campus) at a time that many would certainly not deem “obscure” (the email report stated that is was around 11:40 p.m.).
I choose to carry not because I think something will happen, but because something could happen. I am sure there are fire extinguishers in the academic buildings throughout campus. Why? Because there is a possibility of a fire breaking out, not because Lehigh expects a fire to happen. It is a matter of prevention and safety; the same reason your police department has their sidearms with them on patrols. I believe students with a valid PA LTCF should be granted that same security.
You may or may not have seen this is the news recently, but Liberty University (a private university in Virginia) recently revised their firearms policy to allow students to carry on campus. I believe that a system similar to theirs would work well here at Lehigh (the new policy can be found here: http://www.liberty.edu/administratio...x.cfm?PID=4153).
Lastly, I understand a policy change such as this is no easy process. However, just given my personal observations on campus, I have no reason to believe there would be a large influx of students taking advantage of a new firearms policy. This would aid in the easy transition of a new policy if, for example, Lehigh used Liberty University’s structure and required students to register their firearms with campus police.

I hope that we can work together and possibly change Lehigh for the better by allowing students their natural right of self defense. I look forward to hearing from you. Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,

---------------

[yeager484]

It is in my opinion, as well as my high school English teacher's, that you use the word "I" significantly less.

"We", "The lawful students", etc.

While these are in fact your ideas, you are relatively small in the big picture.

However, just given my personal observations on campus, I have no reason to believe there would be a large influx of students taking advantage of a new firearms policy. This would aid in the easy transition of a new policy if, for example, Lehigh used Liberty University’s structure and required students to register their firearms with campus police.

This doesn't help. it seems like you're really the minority and this may not affect anybody else.




Best of luck with your objective!

[Fraggle09027]

Hey everyone, I figured that maybe I could try and get my university to change their firearms policy, so here is an email I'm hoping to send to the university chief of police (I figured that would be a good place to start). I was hoping you guys could proofread it and give me your thoughts/opinions:

Dear Chief -----,

I am a currently a junior here at Lehigh University, and I wanted to contact you with a concern of mine. Currently, Lehigh has a no firearms policy that I feel may not be in the best interest of the students. Especially in the current political environment and I would remove, political climate does not support the purpose of the paper given recent events, I believe that this is an extremely important topic to address, and this issue needs to be discussed. What I would like to propose, is that Lehigh change its firearms policy to allow students with a valid Pennsylvania License to Carry Firearms to carry on campus.
Recently in the daily announcement emails, I have been seeing the Lehigh University Police Department’s notice that sexual assault defense classes, R.A.D. Training, are being offered to the female members of the Lehigh community. If providing women with a means to protect themselves is encouraged, why not allow students with a means of legal self defense utilize their options?
Many people say that Lehigh’s campus is very safe. I would be inclined to agree with them; I believe the LUPD does a very good job. However, that does not mean the campus is crime free. For example, just earlier this year a student was robbed at the flagpole, which I would reasonably assume is considered the center of the campus, at a time that many would certainly not deem “obscure” (the email report stated that is was around 11:40 p.m.).
I choose to carry not because I think something will happen, but because something could happen. I am sure there are fire extinguishers in the academic buildings throughout campus. Why? Because there is a possibility of a fire breaking out; not because Lehigh expects a fire to happen. It is a matter of prevention and safety; the same reason your police department has their sidearms with them on patrols. I believe students with a valid PA LTCF should be granted that same security.
You may or may not have seen this is the news recently, but Liberty University, a private university in Virginia, recently revised their firearms policy to allow students to carry on campus. I believe that a system similar to theirs would work well here at Lehigh (the new policy can be found here: http://www.liberty.edu/administratio...x.cfm?PID=4153).
Lastly, I understand a policy change such as this is no easy process. However, just given my personal observations on campus, I have no reason to believe there would be a large influx of students taking advantage of a new firearms policy. This would aid in the easy transition of a new policy if, for example, Lehigh used Liberty University’s structure and required students to register their firearms with campus police.

I hope that we can work together, and possibly change Lehigh for the better by allowing students their natural right of self defense. I look forward to hearing from you. Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,

---------------

I bolded a few commas to add. They are hard to see. Hope it helps.

[Kchristy]

Dear Chief -----,

I am a currently a junior here at Lehigh University and wanted to contact you with a concern. Currently, Lehigh has a “no firearms” policy that may not be in the best interest of the students or faculty. In light of tragic recent events, it is extremely urgent that we address this policy and how it relates to the safety of the Lehigh University community at large. What I would like to propose is that Lehigh change its firearms policy to allow students and faculty with a valid Pennsylvania License to Carry Firearms to carry on campus.

Recently the daily announcement emails have been advertising sexual assault defense classes (R.A.D. Training) for the female members of the Lehigh community. These classes are being sponsored by the Lehigh University Police Department to provide women with a means to protect themselves. While this is an excellent idea, this neither addresses the male students’ safety concerns nor provides the female students with the right to protect themselves as guaranteed by state law as well as the Commonwealth’s Constitution.

Many people say that Lehigh’s campus is very safe. I would be inclined to agree with them; I believe the LUPD does a very good job. However, that does not mean the campus is crime free. For example, earlier this very year a student was robbed at the flagpole. One could reasonably assume this crime occurred at the epicenter of the campus at a time that many would certainly not deem “obscure.” The email report stated that is was around 11:40 in the evening.

As Stephen King stated in Different Seasons ““there's no harm in hoping for the best as long as you're prepared for the worst.” That is why I choose to carry a firearm; not because I think something will happen, but because something could happen. The Pennsylvania Fire Code ensures that there are fire extinguishers in the academic buildings throughout campus. Why? Because there is a possibility of a fire breaking out, not because Lehigh expects a fire to happen. It is a matter of prevention and safety; the same reason your police department has their sidearms with them on patrols. I believe students with a valid PA LTCF should be granted that same security.

You may or may not have seen this is the news recently, but Liberty University (a private university in Virginia) recently revised their firearms policy to allow students to carry on campus. I believe that a system similar to theirs would work well here at Lehigh (the new policy can be found here: http://www.liberty.edu/administratio...x.cfm?PID=4153).

Lastly, I understand that a policy change such as may not be an easy process. However, I believe that this would be an important educational experience for students in the free exercise of their constitutional rights. I have no illusion that there would be a large initial influx of students taking advantage of a new firearms policy. However, I believe that this would be benefit as it would aid in the transition to the new policy. Universities were founded to promote free thinking. I hope that we can work together and possibly change Lehigh for the better by allowing students their natural right of self-defense. I look forward to hearing from you. Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,

[libra8]

Remove the "a" before currently.

[Shisno]

I think one of the concerns that most schools give as a reason to not allow people to carry is the typical "blood in the streets" argument. It may be beneficial to add the percentage of LTCF holders convicted of violent crimes and compare that to the percentage of the general population that has been convicted of a violent crime. That way you can show how peaceful and law abiding we as carriers are over their general population and how we are the least of their worries. I would also point out that their prohibition on gun on campus would only deter those students who do not want to cause harm to anybody and that those who would rob, rape, or kill will still have a weapon no matter what their policy is.

[jerryg]

You are sending the letter to the wrong person. The Chief of Police just follows policies that are in place. You need to go to the top.

[Kchristy]

Hey, might want to read this for some ideas and support.

[JrFreak]

You'll have better luck convincing your arse to crap out golden bricks.

[Kchristy]

You'll have better luck convincing your arse to crap out golden bricks.

You have no idea how tempted I was to give my first negative rep for this post... So I'm telling you. At least he's trying. What are you doing to help secure our rights? So what if he doesn't succeed? He loses nothing by trying.