Significant Other Doesn't Like Guns...

[KBoy420]

Hey Guys,

I'm sure I'm not the only one in this situation. I grew up around guns, started shooting a .22 rifle when I was 10, and hunted with my father and grandfather from 12 on (using a .257 Roberts Model 70...still have it and love it).

About 2 weeks ago, I made the decision to purchase my first hand gun, mainly for two reasons. 1) I wanted something to supplement my home defense shotgun and 2) the crazies in DC are trying to ban everything, so I wanted to get an XDm before it was too late.

I spoke to my girlfriend of 12 years (we live together) and she was accepting, at first. The first two weeks, I keep the gun, unloaded, in the XD case in my closet. Obviously this isn't ideal at all for home defense. I've shown her the gun, field stripped it with her, and explained what all the parts were and how a semi-auto works, etc. I also explained the numerous safety features on the XDm (she believes, for whatever reason, that guns are naturally dangerous, and that loaded guns can discharge on their own).

I asked her to go to the range with me, and I think I can get her to, but she is very apprehensive. Finally, after 2 weeks, we discussed and I moved the gun to my bedside night stand. It is now just setting in a drawer, with a loaded mag in it (no round chambered). This made here extremely apprehensive.

I've tried to explain to her that the gun is for protecting her or I, or our home, from anyone with ill intentions. But keeping an unloaded gun in a case in a closet ina different room is pointless. I'd like to get to the point where I can have it loaded, 1 in the chamber, sitting in my nightstand drawer. I saw a video on YouTube, titled along the lines of "So You Think You Have Time To Chamber a Round...", and after watching that video, I am positive that I do NOT have time to chamber a round.

Just wanted to get some thoughts and opinions on how to introduce someone better to guns and living with them as the non-free will tools that they are - just like the chop saw and nail gun in my basement.

Thanks!

[Lexington]

Hey Guys,

I'm sure I'm not the only one in this situation. I grew up around guns, started shooting a .22 rifle when I was 10, and hunted with my father and grandfather from 12 on (using a .257 Roberts Model 70...still have it and love it).

About 2 weeks ago, I made the decision to purchase my first hand gun, mainly for two reasons. 1) I wanted something to supplement my home defense shotgun and 2) the crazies in DC are trying to ban everything, so I wanted to get an XDm before it was too late.

I spoke to my girlfriend of 12 years (we live together) and she was accepting, at first. The first two weeks, I keep the gun, unloaded, in the XD case in my closet. Obviously this isn't ideal at all for home defense. I've shown her the gun, field stripped it with her, and explained what all the parts were and how a semi-auto works, etc. I also explained the numerous safety features on the XDm (she believes, for whatever reason, that guns are naturally dangerous, and that loaded guns can discharge on their own).

I asked her to go to the range with me, and I think I can get her to, but she is very apprehensive. Finally, after 2 weeks, we discussed and I moved the gun to my bedside night stand. It is now just setting in a drawer, with a loaded mag in it (no round chambered). This made here extremely apprehensive.

I've tried to explain to her that the gun is for protecting her or I, or our home, from anyone with ill intentions. But keeping an unloaded gun in a case in a closet ina different room is pointless. I'd like to get to the point where I can have it loaded, 1 in the chamber, sitting in my nightstand drawer. I saw a video on YouTube, titled along the lines of "So You Think You Have Time To Chamber a Round...", and after watching that video, I am positive that I do NOT have time to chamber a round.

Just wanted to get some thoughts and opinions on how to introduce someone better to guns and living with them as the non-free will tools that they are - just like the chop saw and nail gun in my basement.

Thanks!

I'm very blessed with my wife. She has always been receptive to firearms in the house, and in fact has several of her own now. She has no problem keeping one in the chamber in her CZ-83 in her nightstand drawer, either! She never went shooting with her Dad growing up (Mom was against gun ownership until I came along, and Dad was pretty secretive about it like it was some pet sin), so when she came down to visit me when we were dating my Dad took her to the police range and let her try out a variety of things. She was comfortable with them after the initial exposure.

Not really sure what advice I can get you other than do try to get her to go to the range with you. And if you have a friend who owns a .22 who can come with you, that would be even better. Start her off with a low caliber and work her up to what you have for defense.

I know one friend of mine in college said she was extremely anti-gun when she first moved here from Canada. Her husband bought a pistol and she did not even want it in the house, much less a closet. He finally talked her into coming to the range with him and after that she loved shooting it so much he had to give her that pistol and he went and bought one for himself. Last I spoke with her she was getting herself a 20 gauge pump and was looking into an AR or AK.

Hopefully it works out that way with you, but the best thing to do in the meantime is to get her to shoot them.

[Shisno]

I had a situation like this when I started carrying.

When I first started dating my girlfriend I wasn't 21 yet. And I only owned an AR-15. When I first showed it to her, it was field stripped with the upper and lower separate. She was so fearful of guns that she was in the opposite corner of the room and wouldn't take a step towards it. After a few weeks of just talking calmly about guns, I got her to dry fire the lower (I had my hand stop the hammer so no damage happened to the rifle). That was all. Just simple baby steps. Then I turned 21 and got two handguns that day and immediately took them to the range with her and my patents. There she shot her first gun that day. Actually she shot 4 but her favorite was a 38 special 4 inch revolver. She enjoyed herself but she still wasn't comfortable with guns yet. So we took it very slow. We compromised that I would carry when we were out of the house but put the gun in a handgun safe while at the house. It was still readily accessible but it wasn't on me which was the hardest part for her to accept. For the first two months of carrying, she wouldn't even hug me if I had it on. But eventually that stopped. Also for a few months after that, her hand would pull away if it brushed the gun in it's holster. But after a while that stopped too. Also for the first year, she didn't want to see it if I had it on (out of sight out of mind). But that has stopped now and nowadays I OC at home 24/7. Now she is comforted by me being armed and only dislikes it when she wants to cuddle on the couch. She is also talking about getting her LTCF and we've been looking at small 9mm handguns for her. The key is being patient with her and not to rush it. Stay firm in your conviction to be a gun owner, but let her get accustomed to it at her own pace. Also, try to casually talk about guns in an informative way. But never talk down to her. And don't over load her with info.

[Grey Bearded One]

This demonstates why living with a "girl friend" is a bad idea. Back in the day, if I had a girlfriend who didn't like my guns, I'd find a new girl friend. Just like smoking was a deal breaker, no-guns was deal breaker.

At this point, all you can do is insist that she gets some training from certified instructor. Tell her that it is "just in case." Three possible outcomes: she'll like it and become comfortable, she'll become ambivalent, she could want to join Obama at Camp David for skeet shooting.

[2DogsBarking]

You won't miss her for long.............................always another out there!

[ah0873]

I was in the same boat - she grew up in NY and never even saw a real firearm in person... then I bought her a Walther P22 and forced her to go to the range with me... now she wants to go shoot as much if not more than I do...

It obviously wasn't as easy as I make it sound - it took time, but we got there. I made it a point that if she was going to be in the house with guns, she had to know how to use them and be comfortable with them. That is what talked her into going to the range with me.

[PASE717]

It sounds like your girl friend is just a little apprehensive about being around, loaded, firearms still. If you follow Shisno's advice, you should be golden.

[Gold-Leader]

The key is being patient with her and not to rush it. Stay firm in your conviction to be a gun owner, but let her get accustomed to it at her own pace. Also, try to casually talk about guns in an informative way. But never talk down to her. And don't over load her with info.

^^ I am in this process of this with my girlfriend. She grew up around hunting guns; shotguns, bolt rifles etc. So I'm slowing trying to get her interested in shooting handguns and AR/AK type rifles.

[Metaldemon7]

I had the same problem with my Ex-wife. She felt the same about riding a motorcycle. I did what I wanted, and she had to get over it. She decided she wanted to be more of a party girl than a wife, and mother. I have been a single dad since my son was 6. He is 17 now, and she think I am raising him wrong with the firearms. The boy is an honor student in honor classes. He is also a good shot. He beat me at 200 yards with a 22lr at Tamaqua last year, with my Savage. He knows what to do if he is home alone, and needs to protect himself.

[Asmodeus6]

These threads keep popping up a lot lately.

Life choices. They are important. This is one of them. I would try everything in your power to take the steps mentioned to get her to release her illogical fear of firearms. Having her go shoot with another girl who shoots is better than anything else you can do or say.

That may not be possible in the real world though. Take it slow. Do not give any credence to that which is illogical however. If it goes like the one guys. Bedroom, to the safe in the basement, then talks about moving the safe to the garage...

You are compromising yourself out of the conversation. Present your case carefully, responsibly. But also in a trial and error scenario. Let's take this 'gun'. Let's load it. And set it in the drawer next to the bed. We'll face it away from us. And see if anything bad happens. (We know it won't) If nothing bad happens. Then it's going to stay there. As for being responsible. The gun is STAYING. So we both need to take basic precautions in familiarizing ourselves in it's use and safe handling. So here's what we are going to do...


Every relationship is different. There are men that control the final vote in a relationship, and women who control the final vote. Logic should always be on the side of who wins in these match ups in a fair relationship. Logic is on your side assuming you are not a nut, or have been / are abusive to this woman. And in these kind of mix ups. I stand firm on things in which logic should prevail.

That said. Be kind, and have some patience. IF, she comes around instead of just conceding the fight. You will be far better off.


If things go south hard. Hand her the walking papers. I had to say it. Because it's true. Life choices. You only get one. Make sure the person dominating the largest portion of yours, is the right one.