WHEN INSULTS HAD CLASS

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
--Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."
-- Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."
--William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it."
-- Moses Hadas

"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know."
--Abraham Lincoln

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
-- Groucho Marx

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
--Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." -- Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend...if you have one."
--George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second...if there is one."
--Winston Churchill, in response

"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here."
--Stephen Bishop

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." -- John Bright

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." --Irvin S. Cobb

"He has the attention span of a lightning bolt." --Robert Redford

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." -- Forrest Tucker

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." --Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
--Oscar Wilde