Banned from WalMart

[Shawn.L]

BANNED FROM WAL-MART

This is why women should not take men shopping against
Their will.


After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on
Her trips to Wal-Mart.
Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and
Preferred to get in and get out.
Equally unfortunately, my wife is like most women - she
Loved to browse.

Yesterday, my dear wife received the following letter from
The local Wal-Mart:

Dear Mrs.L,
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing
Quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this
Behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the
Store. Our complaints against Mr. Samsel are listed below
And are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randoml y put them
In people's carts when they weren't looking.

2 . July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go
Off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor
Leading to the women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an
Official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away. '

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a
Bag of M&M's on layaway.

6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FL OOR' sign to
a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and
Told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring
Pillows and blankets from the bedding department.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him, he
Began crying and screamed,
'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9 . September 4: Looked right into the security camera and
Used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting
Department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while
Loudly humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme.

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his
'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people
Browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud
Speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO!
IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

And last, but not least,

15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door,
Waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!

[Da2k17]

Holy shit, dude im seriously dying laughing from reading that.

[Autonomous]

ROTFLMAO.....
what would lil buck say...
-A

[Hawk]

Sounds just like you Shawn!

[JoeWilliams]

An oldie, but one of the best goodies!! LMAO!!

[JayBell]

BANNED FROM WAL-MART

Took 24 boxes of condoms and randoml y put them
In people's carts when they weren't looking.

i've done this several times...always pick someone that really looks unlikely to buy condoms.

mennonite women, very old women, very old men, etc.

casually keep track of them, and be near the checkout when they hit it

[tes151]

I almost had an accident reading #3. Thats great...

[larry0071]

I love it. Now thats some seriously funny stuff right there!...I dont care who you are!

[NineseveN]

I've done #10 and #13...10 just got a few nervous laughs...13 got me kicked out of the store. Of course that was probably 15 years ago...at Hills if anyone remembers that place.

[PisnNapalm]

http://forum.pafoa.org/lounge-108/27...-mart-fun.html

It's been posted a few times before, but for some reason the search function doesn't work as well as it used to...


EDIT:: I used to work in a Hills. I remember it. They had great nacho cheese for the nachos.