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Thread: ZEN SARCASM
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January 23rd, 2007, 09:36 PM #1
ZEN SARCASM
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me for I
may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the
hell alone.
2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky
tire.
3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your
neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.
6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car
payments.
8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That
way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and
he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably
worth it.
12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.
14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it
back in your pocket.
16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
17. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark side, and
it holds the universe together.
18 There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.
20. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
22. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on
the same night!--
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January 23rd, 2007, 10:55 PM #2
Re: ZEN SARCASM
those are great..
on another note..
Confuscious once said...
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“If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquillity of servitude than the animating contest of freedom, — go from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains sit lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that ye were our countrymen!”
~Samuel Adams
"I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it."
~Thomas Jefferson, 1791
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January 23rd, 2007, 10:57 PM #3
Re: ZEN SARCASM
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm....maybe...
I joined this group.
"Oderint Dum Metuant" - BMFH
"Tact is for people not witty enough to use sarcasm"
Note: any whingeing crazy that hits my PM inbox will be deleted without reply
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January 24th, 2007, 10:19 AM #4
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Re: ZEN SARCASM
I like #11 how true that is.
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