LEO, Atty, psychologist? Parking lot rage thoughts pls.

[RickD]

I stopped at a convenience store enroute home from the range and park next to this big pickup taking a parking space plus. We’re parked nose in, parallel to each other and it’s on my left. I come out and squeeze into my car and my door touches his truck. I buckle up, start the engine and hear a horn beeping. He rolled his passenger window down and is saying something.

So I roll mine down and ask "what?" He says "why did you bang into my truck?" I said because it's a tight squeeze and I barely touched his truck. He starts cursing and yelling. WTF set him off ? He got back to his vehicle before I did, was he pissed that someone parked near him and waiting for the driver to come back?

I didn't damage his paint, which I’m sure he knew, and he's still yelling. I roll up my window and prepare to leave, because you can't have a conversation with a deranged person, and I start to back up. He backs up with me and stops, blocking me from moving. I think "oh, great, he’s gonna do something even stupider and ruin both of our days." So I wait for him to do something insane. Maybe he thinks he’ll prod me into some sort of action somehow.

But my age and patience won out over his youth and misplaced livid indignation. In a few seconds he finally pulled away with a stream of profanity trailing behind him. Unfortunately he probably took his rage down the road to some new unsuspecting victim.

So my adrenalin was pumped up, various scenarios ran through my mind all at the same time and at lightening speed, none good, and most revolved around police, lawyers, hospitals and missed time at work.

Who talks that way to a stranger anyway? I could've been anyone: a cop or detective, lawyer, judge, minister, or just a violent psycho for that matter.

As it turns out I'm a well armed regular guy with patience dealing with the mentally deficient. I’m twice his age and recovering from surgery and I’m going to defend myself without hesitation if I see a clear need to do so.

So was this a threat? Was a crime committed? It clearly wasn’t about bumping into his truck since he wasn’t concerned about damages: he never even got out of the truck to check. I think he’s been a bully all his life and gets a thrill out of it and has the emotional development of a 12 year old.

Should I have done more or less? Should I have told him to back off, that I was armed? Should I have reported it to the police, or called them when it started? Am I overreacting to a common situation that I should get used to because the world is getting more and more irrational?

Well it feels good to vent in any case. Insights and opinions appreciated.

[Lycanthrope]

I don't go off about it, but I know it irritated me greatly when people used to open doors into my Camaro. Generally, I think touching another person's vehicle uninvited is bad form and usually warrants an apology. It's very easy to chip an expensive paint job.

He should have never freaked out like that, though.

Lycanjustmy$.02thrope

[chivvalry]

Did you park close to him or he parked close to you? Did you ever apologize for touching his truck with your door?

He was probably just pissed that you touched his shiny truck.

Never say "Back off I'm armed" unless you have already drawn your weapon due to a deadly threat and even then if you do decide to risk your life by providing a verbal warning the next sound should be "bang" unless there is immediate compliance.

IMHO, you should deal with all stress or threat situations as if you are unarmed until you can no longer de-escalate or escape the situation and are in fear for your life.

[ByAnyMeans]

I will begin by saying that "sometimes a cigar is just a cigar". What i mean is maybe the a guy has a big truck for work and had his mind elsewhere not realizing he took up two spots.

However, given his response I would say the guy has low self esteem and may have been picked on or abused as a child. He compensates for his feelings that he is not adequate enough with a bigger than necessary truck. He regains his power by parking in two spots inconveniancing others because he "can" and when challenged on it he pulls that big old truck (his proxy for a small self esteem) in front challenging you to do something and in his mind putting you below him in some imaginary pecking order. When you did not further challenge him he felt conficent enough that he showed you who is boss and was able to drive off. I do not believe he was a bully because a bully would have gone for a more physical confrontation. He would have gotten out of his car to check the door and then started in with you. instead this guy kept himself inside his big cocoon of self assurance, his truck.

I do not think any of it is illegal and would not really think anything of it. There are all sorts of screwed up people in this world. I do not think your are overreacting but I do not know if this would have gotten my adrenaline pumping either.

[kevindsingleton]

You had a choice. You chose to park close to his vehicle, and then you hit his vehicle with your door. That's your fault. You shouldn't hit other people's cars if you're not prepared to deal with the consequences. You're lucky he didn't ruin your day. You already ruined his.

People can be idiots. Sometimes they bang their door into your car while you're sitting in it.

[Derek]

I would say you handled it just fine, let a hot head be a hot head and move on.

That being said, I have to agree with Lycanthrope. Even my old truck I get pissed when I find new scratches and dings. I did lose it one time when I came out of a store and found some guy touching my bike. Be more careful around other's vehicles.

[normanvin]

The first time I stopped for gas in my new truck I bumped the steel bumpers that are on the end of the pumps, when I opened my door. No big deal. I did it, no damage to the truck. Now if someone else had bumped it with their door or pushed a shopping cart into it I would not be pleased.

Would I jump out and throw a fit? Probably not. But I would expect an apology.

[7998]

Did you even say sorry, like "Hey sorry man it was tight squeeze". Who was there first?
I hate when Fat-Fers park too close. I go out of my way to park away from the stupid lazy people only to find some moron park 12" away and knowing they had to tap the car rolling their size 50 waist out of it. Those instances usually end with with a size 13 shoe to a quarter panel or a key down the side. No I don't own a Ferrari but to me it is one.

[legendarylorot]

Sadly, most of my generation acts this way. I'm embarrassed for them, particularly since I know many people will look at my age and make judgments on me based on them.

I'd say you handled it just fine. Someone down the line will disabuse them of their notions of superiority and their apparent anger issues, but there's no need to step up to the plate there, and end up in jail.

[RickD]

I parked close to him because it was closer to the entrance and my leg is still healing so walking is somewhat difficult.

There was ample room for my car but sometimes as you slide into the seat the door swings out that extra inch and taps the car next to you. An accident.

I did say "sorry about that" when he rolled down his window. Before that I didn't know he was there.

And I know what you mean. My brother always parks far from other cars, diagonally, to avoid dings but his car is his life. So I'm aware of those people and with classic cars taking extra precautions but never seen a work truck with a million dollar paint job. Not that the price matters. I don't intentionally inflict harm on anyone or anything.

I also believe in "you break it, you buy it." So if I damage something, I'll fix it, replace it or notify my insurance company. But there was no damage.

So that's what Freud meant: just let it go? Much ado about nothing? Good advice I think.

Thanks for your thoughts everyone.