A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking, the monkey jumps up on the bar grabs some peanuts ,eats em, then grabs some limes and eats them, then he jumps up on the pool table, grabs the cue ball and swallows it whole.

The bartender watching this screams at the guy "Did you see what your damn monkey just did?"

The guy says "No, what?"

"He just ate the cue ball off my pool table! Swallowed it whole!"

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me, "replied the guy. "He eats everything in sight, the little bastard. Sorry. I'll pay for the cue ball and rest of the stuff."

He finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the monkey ate and then leaves.

Two weeks later he's in the bar again, and has his monkey with him. As he sits down and orders a drink the monkey jumps up on the bar, grabs a maraschino cherry, sticks it up his ass, pulls it out and eats it.

The bartender watching yells out "Thats it!" "Thats the most disgusting thing I've ever seen"!

The guy says "What"?

"Did you see what your monkey did just did now?" he asks.

"No, what?" replies the guy.

"Well he stuck a maraschino cherry up his ass, pulled it out, and ate it!" said the bartender.

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy. " He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he swallowed that cue ball, he measures it first..."