Men strike back!

[larrymeyer]

Men strike back!

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.

-----------------------------------------------------------
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
-----------------------------------------------------------
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me....'
-----------------------------------------------------------
How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
----------------------------------------------------------
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
-- --------------------------------------------------------
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
----------------------------------------------------
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
------------------------------------------------------
Women will never be equal to men
Until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
------------------------------------------------------

[MrsMtnJack]

Men strike back!

....

Women will never be equal to men
Until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
------------------------------------------------------

^^^^^no argument there^^^^

whoa there ...Larrydude...., speak your mind but ride a fast horse!!!
your mrs musta won the cast iron skillet throwing contest!!!!

[Dredly]

Why do brides where white wedding dresses?

- All appliances come in white

Why is a watch a horrible present for a woman?

- There is a clock on the stove

[Rosco the Iroc]

Q: Why do women have 2 sets of lips?








A: So they can piss and moan at the same time.

[US Militiaman]

Q: Why did the woman cross the road?

A: Who cares!?! What was she doing outside of the kitchen?

--

Q: What is the only known substance on earth that can turn a fox into a hippo?

A: Wedding cake




Running, ducking, and hiding now...

[Rosco the Iroc]

[Curmudgeon]

[Warpt762x39]

Not my philosophy but someone here should get a chuckle out of it lol


Why is divorce so expensive? Because it's worth it.

[RaisedByWolves]

What do you say to a bitch with two black eyes?






Nothing, you already told her twice!

[SierraPapa]

so bad but so funny...

why hasn't a woman landed on the moon?
-it doesn't need cleaning yet

why did God create shopping carts?
-to teach women how to walk on the hind legs

sigh*....now i feel bad (and my abs hurt )


EDIT: my wife just found out that I wrote these, and now she's going to act like she just had some wedding cake....(reference to OP)