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March 28th, 2008, 07:53 PM #1
Just when you thought you knew everything about patio furniture
(BELLEVUE, OH) -- Police say a man in Bellevue, Ohio was caught on tape having sex with a picnic table.
Bellevue Police Captain Matt Johnson says Art Price, Jr., 40, was seen on four occasions between the hours of 10:30 a.m. and noon having sex with his picnic table. What makes this a felony, Johnson says, is that it took place in close proximity to a school, which made it likely that children could have seen Price.
The neighbor -- who wishes to remain anonymous -- saw Price walk out onto his deck, stand a round metal table on its side and use the hole in the umbrella to have sex.
The most recent instance took place March 14, we're told. A neighbor videotaped Price.
"The first video we had, he was completely nude. He would use the hole from the umbrella and have sex with the table," Johnson says.
Police say Price admitted to the crimes -- four charges of public indecency. Usually these sorts of things are misdemeanors, but in this case, they are felonies.
"What boosts it up to a felony is that the statute says if it's likely to be viewed by a minor," Johnson explains.
The Price family did not want to talk with us, but neighbors did. Some are not happy Price was released on his own recognizance.
"He shouldn't be allowed just for the fact that he could do that again -- and nude that close to a school. That should be zero tolerance," says Brice Jacobs, a neighbor.
Price is married with three school-aged children. Neighbors tell us they're now worried about the kids.
"Hopefully it stays between the adults and the kids don't get a lot of the information so they aren't so cruel to the little kids," says Emily Grote, a neighbor.
This case has police in this small town shaking their heads. "Once you think you've seen it all, something else comes around," Johnson says.
Report: WTOL, Toledo
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March 28th, 2008, 07:59 PM #2
Re: Just when you thought you knew everything about patio furniture
Damn...
Which would you rather have show up on the news?
That your spouse cheated on you with a $5,000 hooker?
Or that your spouse cheated on you with a picnic table?"Never give up, never surrender!" Commander Peter Quincy Taggart
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March 28th, 2008, 08:01 PM #3
Re: Just when you thought you knew everything about patio furniture
Go get her, tiger!
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March 28th, 2008, 08:40 PM #4
Re: Just when you thought you knew everything about patio furniture
What else can I say except...
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March 28th, 2008, 08:46 PM #5
Re: Just when you thought you knew everything about patio furniture
Gum under the table doesn't seem so bad now.....
"Guess what?! I got a fever, and the only prescription... is more cowbell!"
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March 28th, 2008, 10:26 PM #6
Re: Just when you thought you knew everything about patio furniture
Hey now...some of those picnic tables are pretty damn hot!
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March 28th, 2008, 10:35 PM #7
Re: Just when you thought you knew everything about patio furniture
I'd hit it.
Oh sorry. Automatic reply.
I still don't really think this should be a felony. Maybe if a kid actually saw it, but this is Amerika damn it. If you want to fuck a picnic table you should be able to. Yeah he should have a fence, but it's his yard. If you don't want to see your neighbor naked then don't look into his yard.
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March 28th, 2008, 10:36 PM #8
Re: Just when you thought you knew everything about patio furniture
It had a short, white, flower patterned tablecloth on it that draped WELL above the bend. I'm not blaming the lawn furniture here but this kind of thing can happen when you toy with a man’s instincts.
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March 28th, 2008, 10:38 PM #9
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March 28th, 2008, 10:42 PM #10
Re: Just when you thought you knew everything about patio furniture
Wow, I feel bad for the wife. She'll never get laid again.
Talk about nailin it."See, this side is well roasted; turn me on the other and eat." St. Lawrence
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