My wife laid down the law.

[Jughead]

We've been having problems for years and now that the kids are grown and off to college I think it came to a boil.

Well a couple weeks ago she said no more drinking and the guns must go. I said WTF! Keep in mind I usually have 2-3 glasses of red wine and maybe a few drinks if we go out.

I think I could give up the wine but I want to hold my ground on the guns. We've been together since 1987 and only recently began making gun purchases. I don't think the guns are the root cause because we've been having problems for years.

About 5 years ago I bought her a small diamond ring for Christmas. I think I pais < $2,000 for it. The first words out her mouth were "and how much did this cost." Talk about throwing cold water on the event.

From that point on I swore I'd never buy her anything again. Well that faded fast the following Christmas when I bought her a 20" flat screen for her work from home PC. She was always complaining about how small the work monitor was. Again she thru cold water on it by saying "You know you're spending my money. We have a joint account.

And the saga continued, so I left.

[icp4life162005]

Congrats! or sorry... I'm not really sure which? But whatever works out the best for you! Ohh and remember if you treat your guns right 20 years from now they will still be beautiful, as for the wifey....

[sjl127]

your guns won't care if you bring more than one to bed.

[BenningBoy]

Life is too short to spend it unhappy.

[God's Country]

I bet she still wants the ring and monitor.


The bright side is you held it together long enough to avoid child support.
Now she can spend her money as she likes.

[tmg19103]

Sounds like she may be concerned with the combination of drinking and having firearms around. If you cut out the drinking, why would she be concerned about firearms that have been around for years - especially when you previously had kids in the house?

If you stopping drinking does not cut it for her, I'd suggest marriage counseling. Marriage counseling will either help your marriage or show both of you it is best to move on. I am happily divorced and my ex and I get along fine. Six months of marriage counseling convinced both of us it was best to move on. We are still friends and are both happier with our lives having moved on.

EDIT: Just noticed you stated you recently started buying firearms. Perhaps you could take her to the range and get her to realize it is a fun sport and not dangerous with proper safety precautions. Still, you said you have had other problems. I'd still suggest the counseling route. It will either make your marriage better or end it. Much better choices than being stuck in a miserable situation - at least from my own personal experience.

[Dave in PA]

Sounds like its all about the money.....I assume that you both work and both paychecks also go to household bills. Again, assuming that you aren't short each month, I think there is some underlying stressor that you don't know about. I'd suggest the counselling thing, if you want to give it a go. If or her just wants to throw in the towel, then no amount of counselling will change that. A married couple is a single 'entity' but the couple is still comprised of two individuals.

I am not a counsellor, nor do I play one on tv. I have been married for almost 19 years.

[lal]

A marriage is hard work, as you know, if you drink too much and can stop, do so, if not AA/Alanon can help, that is # 1, after that, look into counseling if you both want to save the marriage, if not get divorced and move on. The guns & money are a tangible to bitch about, there's much more going on

[crakkajakka15]

i agree, there are some underlining issues other than your guns. Its just money you cant live life worrying about money all the time its not healthy. I would suggest counseling as other stated and if she not willing then you did your part at least in making an effort. Im 21 and about to get married and were doing pre marriage counseling not that we have any major issues or anything, even after living together for 3 years it amazing how much you still dont know about your partner. Hope all works out for the best.

[MOUNTAINORACLE]

I look at things a differently from most of the members on this board mainly because I am a lot older (as in old fart) than most members and have been around the block.

As far as that counseling goes, it's a great way for the person that does the counseling to make some extra spending money; and IMHO a waste of time and good money. But if you want to go that route find a good looking blonde & .......................!!!!

I have been married for 35 plus years to same woman and I would be willing to tell her today as in years past if she ever tried to "lay down the law" don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out. I don't lay down the law to her and she damn well better not to me.

While the kids were young, we had a house mortage, a little credit card debt, car payment, truck payment, kids college education, etc. My spending habits were different than they are now. When the last child was out of college, out of the nest, and married. I went out and bought a new 32 foot Pace Arrow Motor Home as a gift for my wife and I (when the kids were growing up I couldn't afford that, we were stuck with used Prowler trailers)."

I am now totally retired with two retirement checks from private industry & a social security check, and am looking for a part time job for 1 or 2 days a week to keep from going stir crazy.

So my advice tell her not to let the door hit her in the ass on the way out.


oracle