Why men are never depressed

**Hawk** · August 16th, 2008, 08:54 AM

WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED (according to women)

Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures?

1. Your last name stays put.
2. The garage is all yours.
3. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
4. Chocolate is just another snack.
5. You can be President.
6. You can never be pregnant.
7. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
8. You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
9. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
10. The world is your urinal.
11. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom
because this one is just too icky.
12. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a
nut on a bolt.
13. Same work, more pay.
14. Wrinkles add character.
15. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
16. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to
them.
17. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
18. One mood all the time.
19. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
20. You know stuff about tanks.
21. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
22. You can open all your own jars.
23. You get extra credit for the slightest act of
thoughtfulness.
24. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be
your friend.
25. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
26. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
27. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
28. Everything on your face stays its original color.
29. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
30. You only have to shave your face.
31. You can play with toys all your life.
32. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all
seasons.
33. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
34. You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.
35. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
36. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December
24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.

**str8shooter** · August 16th, 2008, 10:37 AM

Originally Posted by Hawk

WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED (according to women)

WHY WOMEN SHOULD NEVER BE DEPRESSED
(according to str8shooter)

Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures?

Women can't understand why men don't think like them -- What do you expect from such complicated creatures

1. Your last name stays put.

You can have your name changed from Miss Finkleshnitzer to Mrs. Brown

2. The garage is all yours.

The rest of the house is all yours.

3. Wedding plans take care of themselves.

The groom-to-be just agrees with everything you want (training for marriage)

4. Chocolate is just another snack.

Chocolate is the answer to all life's problems

5. You can be President.

As first lady, you get to actually run the country, but without being blamed for any mistakes.

6. You can never be pregnant.

You have a socially acceptable reason for getting fat.

7. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

You can get through the lines to the rides a lot quicker with a white T-shirt at a water park. (no one wants to let it dry out)

8. You can wear NO shirt

Even if your boobs are sagging to your belly button, men will still whistle and stare at you if you don't where a shirt.

9. Car mechanics tell you the truth.

Car mechanics will spend a lot more time under your car looking for the problem if you take it to the shop in a short skirt.

10. The world is your urinal.

A Man will drive his car a mile off the pavement so you can pee in private if you need to pull over along the highway.

11. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.

You can use the mens room if there's a line for the ladies.

12. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

You can bat your eyes and 5 men will fight over the chance to turn it for you.

13. Same work, more pay.

"I can't come to work because of cramps" three days a month doesn't get you fired.

14. Wrinkles add character.

Using Miss Clairol is a beauty treatment, using Grecian Formula is a mid life crisis.

15. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.

You know who's been in your dress.

16. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

Another woman will tell you if you missed a button or your zipper's open (men will just laugh at other men and wait to see how long it takes before they notice)

17. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

You have new shoes.

18. One mood all the time.

Allowed to be in any mood at anytime, and can you can change your mood without notice or reason.

19. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

Allowed to have phone conversations over 30 seconds before hearing "honey, hurry up I need you to look as something for me"

20. You know stuff about tanks.

You're never on call 24/7 to fix leaky toilet tanks.

21. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You don't have to carry your five overstuffed suitcases and 3 handbags or figure out how to fit them into the Jetta and then repack them with souvenirs for the trip home.

22. You can open all your own jars.

You're allowed to admit it if you can't open a jar. Men have to start beating on it or find an old bicycle tube to get a better grip until they are victorious.

23. You get extra credit for the slightest act of
thoughtfulness.

You can forget an anniversary and at the last minute write a "coupon" for "one romantic night of anything you want" as long as it doesn't require vasoline.

24. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

If your not invited, you know it wasn't because you were forgotten.

25. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

You can shop for your underwear in Victoria's Secret without making the staff nervous if you stay longer than 15 minutes.

26. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

You can win an argument about why you need three pair of shoes in every color.

27. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

You are able to point out wrinkles in a man's clothes without causing a 2 hour complete change of wardrobe, makeup, jewelry and hairstyle.

28. Everything on your face stays its original color.

Hair doesn't start sprouting on the end of your nose and your eyebrows don't suddenly turn into antennas.

29. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

Your hair lasts for years, maybe decades.

30. You only have to shave your face.

You can wear flannel jammies and not have to shave all winter.

31. You can play with toys all your life.

While we're "playing" in the garage trying to get the lawm mower to start and smashing knuckles when a bolt finally comes free. You're "working" in the kitchen boiling water for spaghetti (see #22 when it comes time to open the Ragu)

32. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.

A purse big enough to carry everything for all seasons, including a change of shoes.

33. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.

You can wear short shorts no matter how you legs look.

34. You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.

You can spend $50 at a salon to have someone else do yours with a pretty pocket knife.

35. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You don't have to shave one off if you get a really bad cold to avoid snotsicles in the winter.

36. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

You consider shopping on Black Friday as part of "getting into the Christmas spirit."

Originally Posted by Hawk

No wonder men are happier.

And yet men are still happier. Sometimes simpler is better.