The Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA)

[Damage control]

I recieved this email today thought I would share.

DC

The Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA)

WASHINGTON , DC - Congress is considering sweeping legislation which
will provide new benefits for many Americans. The Americans with No
Abilities Act (AWNAA) is being hailed as a major legislative goal by
advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any real skills or
ambition.

"Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and
drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in
society," said California Senator Barbara Boxer. "We can no longer
stand by and allow People of Inability to be ridiculed and passed
over. With this legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant
special favors to a small group of workers, simply because they have
some idea of what they are doing."

In a Capitol Hill press conference, House Majority Leader Nancy Pelosi
and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid pointed to the success of the
U.S. Postal Service, which has a long-standing policy of providing
opportunity without regard to performance. Approximately 74 percent of
postal employees lack any job skills, making this agency the single
largest U.S. employer of Persons of Inability.

Private-sector industries with good records of nondiscrimination
against the Inept include retail sales (72%), the airline industry
(68%), and home improvement "warehouse" stores (65%). At the state
government level, the Department of Motor Vehicles also has a great
record of hiring Persons of Inability (63%).

Under the Americans with No Abilities Act, more than 25 million
"middle man" positions will be created, with important-sounding titles
but little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of
purpose and performance. Mandatory non-performance-based raises and
promotions will be given so as to guarantee upward mobility for even
the most unremarkable employees.

The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations that
promote a significant number of Persons of Inability into
middle-management positions, and gives a tax credit to small and
medium-sized businesses that agree to hire one clueless worker for
every two talented hires.

Finally, the AWNAA Act contains tough new measures to make it more
difficult to discriminate against the Non-abled--banning, for example,
discriminatory interview questions such as "Do you have any skills or
experience which relate to this job?" "As a Non-abled person, I can't
be expected to keep up with people who have something going for them,"
said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her position as a lug-nut twister at the
GM plant in Flint, Michigan, due to her lack of any discernible job
skills. "This new law should really help people like me." With the
passage of this bill, Gertz and millions of other untalented citizens
will finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.

Said Senator Ted Kennedy: "As a Senator with No Abilities, I believe
the same privileges that elected officials enjoy ought to be extended
to every American with no abilities." It is our duty as lawmakers to
provide each and every American citizen, regardless of his or her
adequacy, with some sort of space to take up in this great nation."

[ShakeyDad]

Now THAT is some real funny shit !!!

[Eugene V. Debs]

Funny stuff.

But I've never gotten the whole anti-postal employee thing. I've always thought the USPS did a good job at reasonable prices. I try to use them to ship things instead of UPS or FedEx when I can.

[SilentRage]

Oh shit , I'm laughing my ass off right now !!!!!
I hope like hell that everyone that voted " Teddie" into office
get's to read that !!!

freakin hilarious

[Eugene V. Debs]

Oh shit , I'm laughing my ass off right now !!!!!
I hope like hell that everyone that voted " Teddie" into office
get's to read that !!!

freakin hilarious

I voted for him once. *Runs away*

[FromMyColdDeadHands]

Sad thing is that I'm sure some people would actually vote for this kind of legislation if it were real. This is America, everyone can be a victim here...and there is always the government to force us to use someone else resources to ensure the appropriate re-distribution of the wealth (SARCASM).

[er2006]

I think I qualify , I have worked for the Government for 30 years and can no longer imagine ajob without a do nothing culture. I will retire to another government job , I don't want to be pushed beyond my limits of incompetence.

Ed

[GRoPA]

Thanks for the laugh! I am going to send this to my boss along with a thank you note for hiring me and leading the way for this new legislation.

[Hoootie]

LoL I hope those inept people with the airlines aren't the pilots. Maybe just that guy who shot through the floor of his plane...