Spineless Middle aged Men...

[FormerUser123]

This isn't so much an OC experience as it is a rant about a guy I've encountered and didn't have the balls to confront me.


As the story goes, a couple of buddies of mine own a retro gaming store in Reading. I was there hanging out with one of them while he was closing up shop, and I had to pick some stuff up at his house afterward.

He has a very annoying friend along who decides that it'd be a good idea to dry fire his pellet gun in the basement at around 11:30 at night. My buddy's dad (yes, he lives in his dad's basement) comes down and says "What the hell was that?" My friend says "Something that WON'T happen again." giving the hairy eyeball to the other jackass that was with us. His dad says "It better not, I'm going to bed," as he's retreating up the stairs. I didn't think much of it, other than that kid was a complete moron.

Fast forward two days, and I'm hanging around their store today. My friend says to me "Oh yeah, my dad screamed at me about you."

me - "About me? What did I do? The other guy was the one making all the noise, I was just chillin."

him - "Oh no, not about the noise. He was all pissed off because you brought a gun into his house."

me - "But I've brought a gun into his house several times... And your house is literally full of guns." (His dad has 8 or 9 really nice guns that I've seen through the glass in his cabinet, and my friend said there were a few other nice ones that he had in the drawers below)

him - "Yeah, I guess this was just the first time he noticed. He said 'He can't have a gun in here, I don't know him!"

me - "But....I've met your dad...on more than a few occasions..."

Anyway, the conversation was just completely circular from there on out. I guess I'm just annoyed because his dad was not only spineless about confronting me about what should otherwise have been a rather pleasant conversation from one gun owner to another, but I'm also annoyed that my buddy got chewed out by his neurotic father for something that should have been taken up with me.

[mpi]

you can't pick your family!

[twoeggsup]

... I guess I'm just annoyed because his dad was not only spineless about confronting me about what should otherwise have been a rather pleasant conversation from one gun owner to another, but I'm also annoyed that my buddy got chewed out by his neurotic father for something that should have been taken up with me.

Doesn't mean the guy is spineless...

I've had to deal with crap from my son's friends in the past and I've had to deal with crap from my son's on how I handle it too. Can't make them happy.

I've gotten the "Dad, you should have said something to me first...".

The point is the guy decided to make a rule, it's his house, it's his right...
Not that I have a reason to agree with it.

So, from my perspective go ahead and wine about the "not in my house" thing all you want instead of how he decided to impose it.

[Lone Wolf]

I agree that it's the guys house and he has every right to make the rules. However, it seems like way too many middle age Fudds have issues with handguns in general, and OC in particular.

[Robert Kayland]

Spoken like a guy with no children of his own!

Let me put you wise as to fathers and their twenty-something sons and friends.

The protocol is, for the initial encounter, you chew your own son's ass first in private and tell him to "tell his buddies" when something goes down in your house that you don't care for.

This way, you don't embarrass the son in front of his friend, and you don't embarrass his friend.

It has nothing to do with "spineless middle-aged men"... I'm sure if he sees you again with your gun in his house, he'll confront you directly.

Having two sons of my own in that age range, I've seen my share of nonsense even from the most well-bred and decent group of young men, so I don't blame this father one bit for not wanting strangers in his house with firearms... even if you've met him several times, it takes a long time to prove a man, so don't take it personal... to him, you're still a stranger... one who, by the way, was in a group of his son's buddies in his basement when a loud noise went off at 11:30 at night.

/and stay off my lawn!

[Adam-12]

The protocol is, for the initial encounter, you chew your own son's ass first in private and tell him to "tell his buddies"... This way, you don't embarrass the son in front of his friend, and you don't embarrass his friend.

The other part of the protocol is that the dad probably didn't "scream" at all. By telling the kid first, the kid can pass all the blame onto the dad and say things like, "Dude, he was pissed! He nearly stroked out on me, man!"

[27hand]

Spoken like a guy with no children of his own!

Let me put you wise as to fathers and their twenty-something sons and friends.

The protocol is, for the initial encounter, you chew your own son's ass first in private and tell him to "tell his buddies" when something goes down in your house that you don't care for.

This way, you don't embarrass the son in front of his friend, and you don't embarrass his friend.

It has nothing to do with "spineless middle-aged men"... I'm sure if he sees you again with your gun in his house, he'll confront you directly.

Having two sons of my own in that age range, I've seen my share of nonsense even from the most well-bred and decent group of young men, so I don't blame this father one bit for not wanting strangers in his house with firearms... even if you've met him several times, it takes a long time to prove a man, so don't take it personal... to him, you're still a stranger... one who, by the way, was in a group of his son's buddies in his basement when a loud noise went off at 11:30 at night.

/and stay off my lawn!

I'm going to second this. That is exactly how I handled things at my house the first time.

The second time, it was realized by all that I did, in fact, have a spine.

I'm all about hot carry and carry all the time. 20 something YO young men have to prove something to me dealing with maturity. Although none of my kiddos friends carry (to my knowledge), if I knew, they would have been invited to a range session. That usually tells us old guys volumes about young men.

It can be likened to passing the attitude test.



Stay the hell out of my yard too!!!

27hand

[TaePo]

Before I would say it is the Dad's house, his rules....we need to know the living arrangements.

If the son is paying rent or barter for the room, that is the son's place to live. The only problem could be if there was no outside access to the basement, but even then, the son probably would be allowed egress and ingress to his living area. Also, for basement living, certain state codes must be met as well from what I understand.

Of course, the father can just terminate the living arrangement if he was really against something the son was doing.

Just wanted to bring up some things to consider before we jump to conclusions. IANAL and not sure if this is all applicable to Pa State laws. These are general ideas I have picked up over the years so may have mixed some NY or CA law in there!

[TonyF]

He said "He can't have a gun in here, I don't know him!"

I find nothing at all wrong taking this position.

If someone I didn't know entered my home carrying a firearm, I would ask a few questions.

If I didn't get sensible answers, they would be asked to leave.

This gentleman's position is no one enters his home with firearms that "he doesn't know". That is his prerogative.

My guess is "doesn't know" implies the father "doesn't know whether or not you have been educated in proper safety protocol". Whether or not he indicated that was the issue is irrelevant.

My house, my rules.

[Robert Kayland]

The other part of the protocol is that the dad probably didn't "scream" at all. By telling the kid first, the kid can pass all the blame onto the dad and say things like, "Dude, he was pissed! He nearly stroked out on me, man!"

Excellent point.

/I usually say that's how my wife reacted.