Results 1 to 9 of 9
-
August 21st, 2008, 03:41 PM #1
Speaking of pranks...take your anger out on someone you DON'T KNOW!
When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know. I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying "Hello." I politely said, "This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?" Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right fucking number!" and the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits. After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again. When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're an asshole!" and hung up. I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an asshole!" It always cheered me up. When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic 'asshole' calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from the telephone company. I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?" He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone. I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an asshole!" and hung up.
One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking Spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his back window, so I wrote down his number. A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole (I had his number on speed dial,) I thought that I'd better call the BMW asshole, too. I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?" He said, "Yes, it is." I asked, "Can you tell me where I can see it?" He said, "Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax. It's a yellow rambler, and the car's parked right out in front." I asked, "What's your name?" He said, "My name is Don Hansen," I asked, "When's a good time to catch you, Don?" He said, "I'm home every evening after five." I said, "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?" He said, "Yes?" I said, "Don, you're an asshole!" Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call.
Then I came up with an idea. I called asshole ..1. He said, "Hello." I said, "You're an asshole!" (But I didn't hang up.) He asked, "Are you still there?" I said, "Yeah," He screamed, "Stop calling me," I said, "Make me," He asked, "Who are you?" I said, "My name is Don Hansen." He said, "Yeah? Where do you live?" I said, "Asshole, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax, a yellow rambler, I have a black Beamer parked in front." He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers." I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole," and hung up.
Then I called Asshole ..2. He said, "Hello?" I said, "Hello, asshole," He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..." I said, "You'll what?" He exclaimed, "I'll kick your ass," I answered, "Well, asshole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now."
Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover.
Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down in Oaktree Blvd. in Fairfax. I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax. I got there just in time to watch two assholes beating the crap out of each other in front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and surrounded by a news crew. NOW I feel much better. Anger management really does work.
-
August 21st, 2008, 04:22 PM #2
Re: Speaking of pranks...take your anger out on someone you DON'T KNOW!
I had read this before. But it felt good to read it again.
Say SheFears, what was your number again?
-
August 21st, 2008, 04:29 PM #3
Re: Speaking of pranks...take your anger out on someone you DON'T KNOW!
oh my god! that's great! first time reading it and i loved it!
-
August 21st, 2008, 04:39 PM #4
Re: Speaking of pranks...take your anger out on someone you DON'T KNOW!
Now Zef you know damn well I did not give you my number!
-
August 21st, 2008, 10:55 PM #5
Re: Speaking of pranks...take your anger out on someone you DON'T KNOW!
That's great.-BB
The war is coming to the streets of America and if you are not keeping and bearing and practicing with your arms then you will be helpless and you will be the victim of evil.
-Ted Nugent
-
August 21st, 2008, 11:02 PM #6
Re: Speaking of pranks...take your anger out on someone you DON'T KNOW!
Mela,,,oh shit I forgot. That was not nice. You're the...............
Dave3%
-
August 22nd, 2008, 08:14 AM #7
Re: Speaking of pranks...take your anger out on someone you DON'T KNOW!
Never read this one before, Very funny
-
August 22nd, 2008, 12:45 PM #8
-
August 22nd, 2008, 01:42 PM #9Junior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2008
- Location
-
Delco,
Pennsylvania
(Delaware County) - Posts
- 28
- Rep Power
- 0
Re: Speaking of pranks...take your anger out on someone you DON'T KNOW!
I have never read this before but I laughed my @$$ off reading it.
Too funny!TalkPa.net - The Message Board and Forum For Pennsylvania
Similar Threads
-
The Secrets of the Speaking Stones
By larrymeyer in forum GeneralReplies: 0Last Post: July 14th, 2008, 04:59 PM -
Speaking of July 4th...
By Mike45 in forum GeneralReplies: 1Last Post: July 6th, 2008, 07:43 AM -
Anger Management Course #1
By agentw0 in forum GeneralReplies: 6Last Post: June 28th, 2008, 04:03 PM -
Speaking of tatoos
By MOUNTAINORACLE in forum GeneralReplies: 5Last Post: December 20th, 2007, 04:18 PM -
Speaking of Wacky Marylanders
By looperrun in forum GeneralReplies: 0Last Post: January 15th, 2007, 04:27 PM
Bookmarks