LIVID & EMBARRASSED

[Michele]

Have you ever been so angry that you can actually feel your carotid arteries swelling up and throbbing to the point you think they are going to burst right in your neck?

Is this even legal?

My x husband owes out money on a couple of credit cards and some old medical bills.

I was harassed by mail and phone calls about his whereabouts after we were divorced.

Since moving to PA, I’ve received letters from attorneys, collection agencies and banks. Of course I ignore them; however what I find puzzling and a bit offensive is that my name and address appear on these papers that are also sent to my x and his family members. (I guess it’s where ever he’s receiving his mail that week). Throughout my separation and divorce my address and social security number didn’t appear on the court papers. It was all supposed to be kept confidential. Though I can understand how big brother is watching.

Since moving to PA 2 years ago and getting a landline (unlisted, non-published number), my phone has not stopped ringing about him. Besides the house phone it’s also my cell that rings. I no longer answer the phone when I see numbers that start with 800 or 888; I know who it is and what they are calling about. They have left a ton of messages which of course I ignore.

I’ve tried in vain obviously to be somewhat cooperative and understanding about all this however it seemed the more cooperative I’ve been the harassment increased. I’ve been accused of harboring him, withholding information, and they also tried scare tactics and guilt so I would pay his debts.

I’ve even had my divorce lawyer draft some letters to these agencies stating that all was said and done in the courtroom, all legally put to rest and that I am in no way responsible for him or his debts.

Now I just ignore the mail and the phone calls completely. This is not about me, and this has absolutely nothing to do with me or my life or lifestyle. And I’m not giving out any information. I thought I would be done until this evening.

I was outside in the yard with Rocky and my next door neighbor came by. She said she received a phone call today from Bank of ______ (leaving name blank) about me. They proceeded to ask her all kinds of questions about me to which she replied “I have no idea who she is, sorry I can’t help you. Please don’t call my number again”. You can’t imagine the embarrassment I felt having to explain the whole sorted story to my next door neighbor. I thanked her for not giving out any information (she really didn’t know anything anyway) and damn near kissed her feet for keeping me confidential and for her being savvy enough to recognize that the phone call in fact wasn’t Kosher. I thought this was over.

About a half hour or so after me and my neighbor parted after chatting for a bit, the across the street neighbor came knocking at my door. I’ve only spoken to her once and it was about the no parking signs on my street. She got a phone call also, from the same man at Bank of ______.

It seemed they spun a cock & bull story about me being very close to loosing my house and that my house being boarded up would bring the neighborhoods property values down. She wasn’t as savvy as my next door neighbor and gave them answers to the best of her ability to all of the questions that he asked. Here are some of the questions they asked her which she admittedly answered: Is she home right now? Are there lights on? Is her car in the driveway? What kind of car is in the driveway? Are there any new improvements to the house? Does she get any/many deliveries from UPS, FedEx? Can you describe the people that visit the house? How many are men? Can you describe these men? Do they have cars or visit on foot? Do their cars have license plates from other states? Does Michele go out much? Does she have children living with her? Does she come and go at the same time everyday? Does she work? Does she often shop and bring home allot of bags from clothing stores or home improvement stores? Does she receive registered/certified mail?

Well apparently he frightened this woman so much that she actually answered these type questions. The man also told her that they needed these answers because I’m in danger of loosing my home and I’m almost in foreclosure. The man assured her that he DID NOT want me to loose my home and in fact he was trying to help me through these troubled economic times, but he can’t help me if I won’t talk to him. He asked her to urge me to talk to him. She swallowed the whole story, hook line and sinker.

Well, now at this point I’m LIVID! I had to explain to this woman that this was a hoax phone call and they are looking for my husband and since I won’t cooperate with them they are trying to embarrass me into cooperating by calling my neighbors. I told her to hang up on whoever calls her house looking for or asking questions about me. I think she still concerned.

After my carotids stopped throbbing I started to think. I came up with this. My x is due to settle a compensation lawsuit very very soon. Before he gets any money, the child support judgment against him will be satisfied first. It’s a bit over 70,000. Then other legal judgments will be satisfied, like collection agencies, banks, and credit card debt.

I’m figuring they (Bank of _____) knows I’m getting the money first so they are harassing me.

My question is: Is it legal for them (or anyone for that matter) to call your neighbors for information about you? Or can this be used merely as “we care about her (bullshit) and we can’t get a hold of her” type thing?

So much for neighborhood privacy!

Oh, and my mortgage is NOT through this bank.

[Philbert]

I can't imagine that asking is illegal, though it makes me think I do not want to bank with that bank.

One thing though....are you sure it is the bank and not some other kind of PI / stalker?

ETA: apparently it IS illegal (as it should be). Release the hounds! I mean lawyers!

[Michele]

I can't imagine that asking is illegal, though it makes me think I do not want to bank with that bank.

One thing though....are you sure it is the bank and not some other kind of PI / stalker?

The same guy has left about a million messages on my cell and home phone. And the number is the same.

I did call the number once and it is in fact the bank.

[Paradigm]

Wow...I don't even know what to say about such a thing.

It sure sounds like harrassment to me...

[EWTHeckman]

I'm kind of surprised that your lawyer didn't mention it, but there is a Fair Debt Collection Act at the federal level which outlaws harassment. Based on what you've described, you should be able to sue them for each harassing phone call. And that's for debts which would be legitimate. It may be more for debts which you have no legal obligation to pay. Definitely check with your lawyer on this.

This Google search should get you started.

I repeat: Check with your lawyer on this.

Update: Here a link to a good article about the FDCPA.

[Michele]

They are trying to tie me in somehow with my x's debts.

The judge put it all to rest a few years ago. He got his debts in the divorce and I got mine.

I took care of my obligations and actually got a mortgage with no problem. He on the other hand didn't take care of business, acquired even more debt and now they are looking at me for answers and payment.

But calling my neighbors? Is that even legal?

[YllwFvr]

When I saw the title and who it was posted by I thought this was gonna be good. This isn't good it's terrible.
Incredible. Didn't you have trouble with a neighbors dogs too? No luck but bad luck! It's not the same woman is it?
I'm sorry I can't provide any legal advice. You certainly have my sympathy and best wishes.
My parents went through something similair and I remember we tried to contact the FCC and have them blocked but I'm afraid I was too young to remember the outcome. Sounds like pure harrassment to me and since you are no longer financially responsible as his spouse I would like to think you would have some kind of legal action available.

[zzeiber]

Sounds like slander too. Call your lawyer and see if you can counter them with a civil suit.

I hate todays litigious society but sometimes it's the only way to get things settled.

[Michele]

I'm kind of surprised that your lawyer didn't mention it, but there is a Fair Debt Collection Act at the federal level which outlaws harassment. Based on what you've described, you should be able to sue them for each harassing phone call. And that's for debts which would be legitimate. It may be more for debts which you have no legal obligation to pay. Definitely check with your lawyer on this.

This Google search should get you started.

I repeat: Check with your lawyer on this.

I never had a debt problem.

My lawyer did furnish letters to creditors on my behalf explaining that the divorce court (supreme court) awarded certain debts to him. Supposedly these debts that they are now harassing me about are debts my x incurred after we were divorced.

After we divorced, my x actually got a cell phone using my ss number. It was a nightmare straightening that crap out. Of course I had no idea until collection agencies started harassing me for payment. I actually had to get a private eye involved to take care of it. Why? Because ATT wouldn't give ME any information due to the privacy act. Imagine that? My x had some woman friend of his sign my name, use my ss number but used a phony address. What a nightmare that all was.

[riverpirate]

Michelle , not only is it illegal for them to harass you this way it is scary. I would file a police report stating that a unknown male at the phone number you have is calling neighbors asking personal information. I would let them know how much this is "scaring" you and would like to file charges of harassment and stalking against the person. Get the police involed and id bet he leaves you alone quick.