a wife that doesnt like guns.

[rayval123]

It's so frustrating when your thing is all about handguns, selfdefence, and target shooting, and your wife wants to know what the obsession is with OC CC and buying more guns, especially after my uncle was just murdered by a GUN, I just want to be prepared if me or my family is ever in harms way. The best way to be prepared is to practice my muscle memory be familiar with my gun, and learn every thing you can about OC and CC and pa gun laws!! What should I do with her!!!!! Lol

[father-of-five]

Opinions will abound here and I will be a little surprised if serious answers will abound as well. This is one of several issues that can become a big arguing point in a relationship. Sometimes it becomes an issue of intolerance, other times it may be acceptable if not overdone, as vague as that term may be. I find that carrying concealed works well in my life. Not only do others not need to know that I am carrying a firearm, but family members also do not need to know I am carrying a firearm at a particular time, unless I tell them. They know there are firearms, but they don't need to know where they are every minute of the day, other than in a safe. Just be careful that you don't overplay the protection arguement when firearms are seen (and are!) a rather expensive hobby too. Try to keep some level of balance with other things, expenses, etc, to lessen any kind of "obsession" arguement. Even if your spouse was a big second amendment supporter, only talking about firearms will get old fast! Hopefully it won't become a "make or break" issue for you.

[NRA Recruiter]

Anti-gun was always a deal breaker for me.

[Deal_me_In]

It's so frustrating when your thing is all about handguns, selfdefence, and target shooting, and your wife wants to know what the obsession is with OC CC and buying more guns, especially after my uncle was just murdered by a GUN, I just want to be prepared if me or my family is ever in harms way. The best way to be prepared is to practice my muscle memory be familiar with my gun, and learn every thing you can about OC and CC and pa gun laws!! What should I do with her!!!!! Lol

Make sure you aren't trying to push it on her if she just isn't a gun person. Don't try to make your obsession into hers. You sound like you're really enthusiastic about shooting and self-defense and it would be natural to try and talk to your wife about it. People that aren't into guns don't really want to talk about CC, OC, gun laws, and muscle memory. They may begin to resent the topic and you bringing it up.

I would say do your thing but minimze her exposure to it. Over time, she gets used to it and you can ease back into discussion and win her over. Hopefully, you never need to use your gun to save her life, but it feels good to be prepared just in case.

[marke1090]

Have her talj o my wife. Just convict.fed get to get her LTCF and she said shed carry if it made me feel that she was safer.

[rayval123]

Thanx guys, your right, maybe its time to back off her and just talk to my friends that do like talking about it, and this forum is freaking great for getting it out of my system, but them I keep reading and get ramped up again, great website!!!!!

[rayval123]

spell check Mark lol

[NRA Recruiter]

Seriously, gun issues always were a consideration when dating. I was madly in love with a gorgeous Italian girl in college but she thought that guns were evil so that ruined it for me.

Sure, I could have continued with the relationship and tried to convince her but what if she didn't change? Of what if she flip-flopped after we had kids?

I've known quite a few guys whose wives were "okay" with the guns UNTIL they had kids and then the guns had to move out. Either to be sold or to live at a friends house and, of course, the kids could never see the guns until they were 16.

It's like being an Orthodox Jew and marrying Miss Bacon of Dekalb County. Something has got to give.

I don't have any sage advice about how to resolve this issue but I do wonder why the OP ended his post with "LOL".

[IronSight]

It's so frustrating when your thing is all about handguns, selfdefence, and target shooting, and your wife wants to know what the obsession is with OC CC and buying more guns, especially after my uncle was just murdered by a GUN, I just want to be prepared if me or my family is ever in harms way. The best way to be prepared is to practice my muscle memory be familiar with my gun, and learn every thing you can about OC and CC and pa gun laws!! What should I do with her!!!!! Lol

I'm not married, only preparing to be, so take this with a huge grain of salt given that I lack any ... ahem, experience in the matter. Of course you could try calling Newt Gingrich, but I digress.

My best suggestion at approximately 4:30am is to first stop asking the question of what you should do with your wife. This isn't a problem you can 'solve' like a 500 piece puzzle and I would dare to say that human emotion is far more complicated than such a thing. Although again, I am no expert on emotion and this is 4:30am.

I must ask though, is it truly an obsession for you? I ask not judgmentally but to inquire as to if perhaps you are neglecting important aspects of the relationship between you and your wife in favor of it, as that is a potential concern. Keep in mind I also ask knowing next to nothing about you, less about your wife, and even far less about what truly constitutes your 'thing'.

I don't know if you and your wife argued about the issue or if you had only a disagreeable conversation over an expensive dinner with fine wine, all that I do know is that you two do not see eye to eye. Here is quite a shocker for you, no one does. This forum would be far more dull if everyone agreed and sang kumbaya ... is that how it's spelled? Google says yes, but I digress again and I think you get my point. I hope you do at least, because I'm going to expand on it and I can only pray at this hour that someone can follow along with this rant.

You won't agree on guns, ever, at least not in full. I could be wrong about that but I find it unlikely. My fiancee and I do not agree 100% on the issue either and unsurprisingly this fact is one common theme among every issue I can even imagine. The key lies in determining which differences we can live with and which we cannot. You know this too; you are married after all. Of course I find that early morning rants are often about issues I know all too well, so if you happen to have found yourself in such a situation you can take some solace in the fact that you join many in good company.

Has your wife ever fired a gun? First experiences can be amazing but they can also go horribly wrong. The first time I took my fiancee shooting it went well overall, although it gave me a scare the details of which only a few on this board know about. That scare was followed by a sudden realization that a tenacity for extra safety measures beyond my normal routine finally paid off, changing my normal routine in the process. If the answer to my last question is no then perhaps a short course taught by a good instructor is in order for the both of you to attend even if for you it amounts to nothing but preaching to the choir. If the answer is yes then there exists the possibility that that experience contributes to the current matter at hand that resulted in your rant. I cannot know, another common theme about many things, especially at nearing 5 am now.

If you've actually read this far I suspect you may be wondering what I would advise for the next step. If I'm wrong about that be prepared to read it anyway. My advise? Don't listen to me at all, listen and think about the conversation(s) and/or argument(s) the two of you have had on the issues and prepare for another conversation.

Sleep on it and go into the next conversation with your wife about it with the mindset that you could be completely missing her perspective, her reasoning, and that you could be doing some things that are, quite simply, wrong to do. Maybe some of the money saved for that next gun should go into an emergency fund, or a college fund, or maybe saved longer so you can both buy nice guns and go pick them up together. I don't know, but I suspect that if the two of you love each other enough to marry you can work out the differences.

With that I leave my friends, acquaintances, and total strangers that make up PAFOA and those who read it. I'm off to get some sleep.

[Exbiker]

She doesn't have to like guns or ever like or carry them. You don't have to not like anti gunners positions.
This is about respect for each other. Usually when this stuff happens the issue is way more then firearms. Do you like and do everything she does and visa-versa?

You have bigger issues beginning with mutual respect, trust and lack of compromise.

On a lighter note post her pic and resume so we can all decide how much you should compromise. LOL