How Did You Become a Redneck?

[bubba23]

Well boys, we've been outed; one our newest members spilled the beans.

...I'm not a redneck or hillbilly like most of you but...

So we might as well all fess up an' do some splainin' 'bout how we became PA hillbilly rednecks.

Ifun its ok with yawl, ile go furst.

Ya see, I was 'bout 14 and sittin in my house in Erie PA when my cousin Cletus came in with 1 quart jar of clear liquid. After a few sips of that miracle elixir we started feelin like steelin a car and takin a little joy ride past the Sheruf ofice.

When it was all over, I ask'd Cletus where I could get some more of that fine liquid and he sed "thats moonshine but it is only available in the South."

Strike 1

The next thing I remember was a new show coming on TV, "The Dukes of Hazard". I immiutly fel in luv and cood see that hot chicks and fast cars was much more fun my job at BurgerPlex.

Strike 2

Then one summer, our family went on vacation to Mississippi and i got my first taste of Souther Fried Chicken.

Strike 3

Drop kick me Jesus thru the goal post of life. I became a redneck.

[mauser]

Well, me an' my sister Bubba, we was born this way. I guess it's in the gene pool. Ain't no such thing as becoming a redneck, ya either is er ya ain't.

[roland]

I don't know how I became one, but I remember when I got labled as one: I was talking to a coworker about our up coming weekend and we were entered in a rabbit contest held in in California, PA. And I called it the bunnybowl, being it was the weekend before the Superbowl, and we don't watch football. Anyhow, this engineer looks over and says, "theirs a contest on hunting rabbits?" Yep, I replied. he then says somethin, somethin, somethin, redneck somethin, somethin. I tell my buddy, Hey, I moved up to redneck status! wahoo!

[BUCKMARK]

Round' here, weez born this way.

The following is a true story...

I waz born a poor white child in the back woodz of Bedford County. My daddy retired from the Army and was a gunsmith.

I began fishing when I waz old enuff to carry the rod.

I began shootin' round the age of 4 or 5 with a Hamilton .22 short

I kilt my first deer at age 12....he looked at me funny.

At age 13 I found out you could actually buy frozen fish in a box...but I wasnt sure why.

I took my first job at age 14. Why? Cause I wanted money, got no allowance for simply being alive, and had no video games so I could sit on my a$$ all day.

My fist job waz working on a local dairy farm. Pulling titties and bailing hay. Used my first $50 check to buy a Metallica album.

Got a job at a gas station when I was 16. Had a steady girlfriend ( wiff teef) and drove a 1987 Dodge Charger. Had a gun in that car every day at school so we could hunt critters afterwardz.

Joined the Infantry at 18 cause I was too stupid to fly helicopters, and had no shrimp boat.

Got married, and have a daughter. Still live in Bedford County, and still drive a Dodge. Our family carz are 4 door pickups and SUV's, cause they dont plow the roads right away when it snows.

My daughter is now 8. She has her own shotgun and rifle, loves to fish...and is a junior member of the NRA.


Hell, after re-reading this...I ain't no redneck! Iz' a country boy.