Ok, heres a giggler involving gun shots.. seriously

[ghost183]

Ill start with Some demographics and misc details so you guys can get a better idea.. and no, this isnt an aprils fools thing..

1) Balls eddy, a boat launch for trout fishing up the street from me attracts fishermen from all over, but alot of new yorkers come over and make it a day, wade, or drift fish, BBQ, what ever, occasional open fire, nothing out of the ordinary so we don’t think nothing of it, even the occasional wiff of strong “cigarettes” wont make us ting.. they don’t annoy, so to each his own, So a small group are hanging out there, I noticed them around 1, again, didn’t think nothing of it, it started to rain, so I came in, they stayed and tailgated, few hrs go by, got dark and they lit an open fire, again, no biggie..

2) My neighbor is renting his house to a young couple, mid to late 20’s that work and school in binghampton, NY, they are not city people at all.. quite, timid country kids starting out in life.. god bless them.. this house is about 500 yds upstream from this launch and hang out area mentioned above, with A LOT of brush and tree lines in between.. and about 150 yds after my house, but i do not have line of sight to it



Now heres where the incident starts…

Im on here reading thru topics about 40-60 mins ago, while TV goes to commercial and I hear “A” woman screaming, faint, but pronounced… mute the TV, sure enough, I walked to my front door to check it out, now you can tell if it’s a scream of laughter or fear, this was fear, and she’s still letting it rip and I can also hear men yelling, screaming mixed in, just a general maylay if you will, everyone yelling all together, I couldn’t make out what was going on, but obviously, my reaction was WTF!! I fast walked back over, close the living room light where I was, flip the lid on my laptop closed while going for a Mossberg pistol grip thats always loaded with 00, from behind the front door, close the kitchen light and exit the house thinking it’s the couple mixed with the gang at the launch, cause the noises were coming from behind their house but too many voices to be JUST the couple, as im fast walking, screaming and yelling continues, I hear a shot, my reflex was drop to a knee and chamber a rd, I know, I know.. overdramatic, but it was a defensive reflex and you have to understand, its dark up here, closest PA agency is 45 mins away, and that’s if they drop the hammer to get up here, I remembered thinking to myself.. wtf, I cant shoot someone on someone elses property, so I removed my hand from the pistol and carried it by the forearm,, safety on, I walk steadily closer to the house, I hear women screaming, crying, men yelling?!?!?!? I can now clearly hear my neighbor yelling, but couldn’t make out what he was yelling, I hear another shot!! More yelling, Im thinking Wtf is going on, then I can clearly make out a women throwing some colorful words at her boyfriend now, I hear words like disgusting mf’er, f**k u, I mean this girl was really going to town on this guy, and this guy is struggling to keep his balance cause he was hysterical laughing, I get close enough to see 7-10 people crowded around their picnic table, people wearing shirts and jackets wrapped around their waists as pants, and apparently they are trying to keep her off of him, I announce my presence to the couple that rents the house, he starts walking away from them and towards me and he’s… yup….. laughing!!!

?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?! right?


Now obviously I don’t know details, YET, but this is the summation…

couple , (crying girl, and hysterical guy), from the launch decided to leave their group and go into the woods along the rivers edge to a clearing (towards the young couples house) to get laid, during their session, they were attacked by a raccoon that apparently wanted to get in on the action, boyfriend jumps up and back and the raccoon goes after the goodies, and was chasing her thru the brush and trees, where she was yelling in pain cause she was getting cut up by the brush and trees, remember, shes not wearing anything below the belt, her BF gave chase, also, birthday suit below the belt, and was yelling at the raccoon while throwing shit at it, everyone from the group gave chase as well, she ran to the house for help, the young couple hearing the screams behind the house already aware she was running towards them, he had his own 12g in his hands, sees whats going on and starts yelling at her “jump on the table, jump on the table” she finally hears him, runs to it and jumps up, he calmly walked closer and shot the raccoon, twice (first shot didn’t do the trick..

im laughing while typing this..

[the deer hunter]

That's one aggressive raccoon

[ghost183]

yah, no sh*t.. but im thinking they were too close to her den or something, food source?? butu looks like my neighbors made new friends,, everyone is still there

[greenjohn88]

I tried to read that. I really did.

[t1066]

I tried to read that. I really did.

OP hears screaming & shots. Goes to investigate.

Turns out couple who were trying to have sex in the woods got attacked by raccoon and ran through the woods half naked to get away from it.

Raccoon gets shot (but not by the OP), female half of the coitus interruptus couple pissed off at male half.

No lasting harm to anyone but the raccoon.

Hope that helps.

[ghost183]

OP hears screaming & shots. Goes to investigate.

Turns out couple who were trying to have sex in the woods got attacked by raccoon and ran through the woods half naked to get away from it.

Raccoon gets shot (but not by the OP), female half of the coitus interruptus couple pissed off at male half.

No lasting harm to anyone but the raccoon.

Hope that helps.

god bless..

but im still f**kin laughing.. had to be there!!

[phill]

OP hears screaming & shots. Goes to investigate.

Turns out couple who were trying to have sex in the woods got attacked by raccoon and ran through the woods half naked to get away from it.

Raccoon gets shot (but not by the OP), female half of the coitus interruptus couple pissed off at male half.

No lasting harm to anyone but the raccoon.

Hope that helps.

Sorry but removing all of the local color kind of took the fun out of it.

[MikeStull]

I enjoyed the original post and the synopsis. One hopes that the couple, and anyone else, bitten/attacked by the raccoon considers that it may have been rabid.

[bamboomaster]

Great April fools story...

Ummmm, you really mean it happened? That's even better. Sounds like the picnic table saved the day. Gotta remember that. But folks there didn't seem to be really prepped - we're missing the IPhone vids...

[bigandy1966]

+1 on the rabies, I would seriously have everyone who touched or came in contact with it to get the shots.And have the dead racoon tested. Dying of rabies is a horrible thing.
Babies are kept high up in trees or hollow logs, old woodchuck burrow, dry culverts. I'm pretty sure the mothers don't go apeshit, but hunker down and keep quiet. Unless they were doing the deed on the hollow log the momma was storing the litter in. But now the babies are motherless and defensless.