Ode to my AR

[Zef_66]

Okay, so I don't have an AR (yet) and I didn't write these. I must give credit to the guys at XDTalk. But here we go:

Politicians remember
We the people all know
That the 2nd amendment
Keeps us good to go.

911 takes too long
Hiding won't work
I will take aim
And down goes the perp.

With 9 in my hand
A 45 at my waist
The bad guys should stop
and run away post hast.

There sits a black rifle under my bed
30 rounds of .223, those zombies get 1 in the head
People don't like you, says you're evil and black
But the military knows better and you sit right on their rack
Protecting our country and nations borders too
The politics want to ban you because they don't have a clue
We reside in New Jersey and you are barely shot
Only reason why I keep you is because you're so freakin hot
I'm going to treat you right and buy you some stuff
I decide to get an AR because you are so tough
How do I end this ode to my AR?
By spreading it to people near and far

'Twas a cold dark night, in a pitch-black house
my guns at the bedside, my wife in her blouse;
The magazines were seated in the mag well with care,
in case some intruders or zombies appeared;
The bullets were nestled all snug in their brass,
with hopes of expansion in some poor souls a$$;
And I in my slippers, with the dog on my lap,
had just settled down for a 6-hour nap;
When out in the den there arose such a clatter,
I grabbed the AR to see what was the matter;
I tiptoed around...down the hall to the den,
like a stealthy mall-ninja, well-versed in zen;
Three clicks to the Aimpoint, and a check of the chamber,
was all that was needed at the prospect of danger;
With the red-dot aglow and the stock at my cheek,
I drew close to the den and through the door I did peek;
When what to my awestruck eyes did appear,
but 2 men carrying bags, and scented with beer;
They were stuffing their sacks with all they could carry,
including the TV I bought from some guy named Larry;
Dressed in black from their heads to their toes,
probably looking to buy meth from the stuff they would sell;
My mind was a racin' as I thought what to do,
so I sprung from the doorway and yelled, "Hey you!"
They jumped from their shoes and let out a shriek,
as I trained my muzzle on the ugly ones' cheek;
With no dog at my side, and with me all alone,
I shouted towards the bedroom, "Hey honey....get the phone!"
The police soon arrived, and went straight to their work,
of cuffing and hauling away the two perps;
Now the 2 burglars will spend a great many hours,
of trying to not drop the soap in the showers;
All was good in the world and my house was now safe,
with my carbine returned to it's bedside resting place;
But the cop did exclaim as he drove out of sight,
"that's a nice black rifle.....you folks have a good night!"

Enjoy!

[Xringshooter]

Derek,

Me thinks you have already caught the dreaded BRD (Black Rifle Disease) . In that you don't have one yet, again me thinks this is one of the earliest times I have seen someone come down with this insidious affliction .

I hope you also know that there is no cure for it and it can get passed to other family members very easily.