Married Bliss

**Kimba** · January 9th, 2009, 09:41 AM

A couple had only been married for two weeks and the husband, although very much in love, couldn’t wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies.
So, he said to his new wife, ‘Honey, I’ll be right back.’
‘Where are you going, Coochy Coo?’ asked the wife.
‘I’m going to the bar, Pretty Face,’ he answered. ‘I’m going to have a beer.’
The wife said, ‘You want a beer, my love?’ She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 different countries: Germany , Holland , Japan , India , etc.
The husband didn’t know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, ‘Yes, Lollipop, but at the bar…you know…they have frozen glasses.’
He didn’t get to finish the sentence, because his wife interrupted him by saying, ‘You want a frozen glass, Puppy Face?’ She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.
The husband, looking a bit pale, said, ‘Yes, Tootsie Roll, but at the bar they have those hors d’oeuvres that are really delicious… I won’t be long. I’ll be right back. I promise. OK?’
‘You want hors d’oeuvres, Poochie Pooh?’ She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d’oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, and little quiches.
‘But my sweet honey… at the bar… you know … there’s swearing, dirty words and all that.
‘You want dirty words, Cutie Pie? LISTEN UP, CHICKEN SHIT! SIT YOUR ASS DOWN, SHUT THE FUCK UP, DRINK YOUR BEER IN YOUR FROZEN MUG AND EAT YOUR HORS D’OEUVRES, BECAUSE YOUR MARRIED ASS ISN’T GOING TO A DAMNED BAR! THAT SHIT IS OVER, GOT IT, JACKASS?’
and…they lived happily ever after.
Ah…the sweetness of marriage.

**bogey1** · January 9th, 2009, 10:13 AM

that guy needs to grow a set....

**Pvandunk** · January 9th, 2009, 11:02 AM

That was a good one i lol'd she had it covered

**JoeWilliams** · January 9th, 2009, 11:07 AM

Heck, if a wife really would lay all that stuff out, the dude would be glad to have his friends come to the house and watch the game. No need for the bar.

Sadly, most women really aren't that useful