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Thread: <humor> New Element Discovered
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December 22nd, 2009, 08:57 PM #1
<humor> New Element Discovered
New Element Discovered
This simple science class for Saturday mornings should be useful and instructive and inspire you to eschew politics and politicians in favour of
viticulture, gastronomy, and other worthwhile pursuits while there's anything left to enjoy at all
New Element Discovered - Soon To Be Included On The Periodic Table:
Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element yet known to science.
The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to
complete.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 - 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each re-organization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration.
This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.
When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.Gloria: "65 percent of the people murdered in the last 10 years were killed by hand guns"
Archie Bunker: "would it make you feel better, little girl, if they was pushed outta windows?"
http://www.moviewavs.com/TV_Shows/Al...he_Family.html
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