Survival Tips for the Newly Wed (Guys)

[sksmith75]

The hippie chick and I are quickly approaching our 40th anniversary and as an old geezer, I feel compelled to pass along some survival tips for the younger guys, learned through the long, hard years of wedded bliss. Must be some sort of primitive tribe thing in my DNA.

(I tell people we've been happily married for for 31 years which isn't too bad out of 39.)

I'm sure other "older geezers" have pearls of wisdom to offer, so I'll start off with two:

In order to never forget your anniversary, use the date as the combination to your gun safe. She'll think that's romantic.

Fix her breakfast in bed every once in a while. Consider it foreplay. Now, when I do it, I consider it anti-grouchy medicine. Works for a short while, but quickly fades.

Any other helpful hints?

[Dredly]

When buying a new living room suite make sure the couch is big enough to sleep on... the last thing you want is a pissed off wife AND a sore back

When you are pissed at the woman... and she asks you what is wrong DO NOT tell her that she is reason you are pissed

Never EVER imply that "house work" isn't really work... trust me

[Dave in PA]

When she says she doesn't want anything for her birthday/Christmas/anniversary, she is lying. She wants to see what you come up with. It doesn't have to be extravagant, though.

She just isn't willing to help you out.

You are on your own.

And yes, it is a test.

Oh and we celebrated 20 years married this past May.

[CrazyWhiteGuy]

well, after a grand total of 3 months being married, i have learned nothing yet...

[BIGSHOVEL]

Never tell her you slept with her younger sister before you met.

Always remember they are smarter than you in a much simpler way.

When they wreck the car ask if she is ok before inquiring about the car.

Mine gets pissed of when I take a nap, so now I just follow her around constantly until she tells me to "go take a nap"

3 years married, 10 together in all.

[Grizz2720]

When it that time of the month suggest that she goes to her folks for a nice quiet weekend with out the kids. Be careful sooner or latter you will get caught but it great while it lasts.
Bring flowers home for no reason. (browning points)
Just she is nodding her head yes does not mean she is agreeing with you she is just saying she hears you.

[Dannytheman]

Remember what Jack Nicholson says in "Good as it Gets"!

When asked by a young woman, how he, as a writer, writes woman so good?
He says, "I think of a man, then I take away reason and accountability."


I've been married 26 years, and 10 have been pretty good..

[Rauswaffen]

When it that time of the month suggest that she goes to her folks for a nice quiet weekend with out the kids. Be careful sooner or latter you will get caught but it great while it lasts.
Bring flowers home for no reason. (browning points)
Just she is nodding her head yes does not mean she is agreeing with you she is just saying she hears you.

I think you meant brownie points, cuz browning points is a whole 'nother game with the misses. WINK

[sksmith75]

I need to add one of the most important:

Your wife may ask for your "help" on many decisions. Unless it affects your Net Worth, it doesn't matter. Agree to whatever she wants and save the battles for the important stuff.

And that's why I sleep in a frilly bed with more pillows than a gay couple's love nest.

[rich e]

Have shared hobbies AND your own hobbies..

My wife and I golf together,fish together,bowl together but I sort of kept her out of my firearm hobby...I did this on purpose and got a little lucky....If she new how much I spent on guns she would be pissed....

When we were dating I took her shooting with me all the time..She went to one gun show and was bored within two hours..That was perfect because she never wanted to go to another..We only shoot together occasionally now but thats OK..We spend so much time doing our other hobbies..

Over the years we agreed my overtime pay was mine..ie..(hobby money..Guns,,Motorcycles,,Drums)..She never questioned any of my purchases in the last 15 years..

Makes for a happy gun,motorcycle,drummer enthusiast / marriage....

Rich