Grandma dying of cancer

[t1m0thy]

Tonight the irrational and rational parts of my mind have converged for battle. My grandmother is dying tonight of cancer and I once again feel a frustrated anger at losing someone to such a horrible and painful death. The comfort to some is to say that its all part of god's plan. What kind of twisted sadistic fuck of a deity would condemn a kind and gentle old lady to die so painfully when she has served him faithfully for so many years?! Now the irrational part of my mind wants something to lash out at so I naturally pick on the being that supposedly has divine control over the universe...the rational part of my mind knows there is no god so that is pointless. I think what I am angry at more than anything is the idea that people would still believe in a being that could not only allow sickness to be inflicted on his followers but that it is actually part of his plan. To see the waste of a life in selflessly following a bastard who obviously doesn't give two shits about his faithful servants...mainly because he is as made up as Mickey Mouse. My anger is focused on the fact that I was raised to believe this crap and when I challenge it with logic I receive heaps of guilt and judgement from my loved ones who cling to their faith despite the truth staring them in the face. I can understand the need to believe in life after death because no one wants the end to be so final...but isn't that what makes life so worth living? To spend your life and waste it worshipping the imaginary creation of man's most primal origins is to deny your purpose for existence...LIFE ITSELF. I love my gram, but I hate the system of religion that tricks people into thinking they have something greater than what is in front of them and demotivates them from achieving greatness in the only realm we will have a chance of attaining it; the realm of objective reality. Death itself should not be a hopeful thing for an imaginary afterlife but a motivator to make the most of the time you have and appreciate it and the people you value while you and they are still here.

[bogey1]

i hear what your saying, i feel for you (and your grandmother). i was raised catholic, going to church, the whole nine yards. from what i gather, life starts after death. the guy you may want to talk to is pennsyplinker. he may be able to help you through this tough time in your life. godspeed to grandmom.. bogey

[Philbert]

I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother

[Emptymag]

This time of the year I can relate very well to those suffering the pain of having lost a loved one, or getting terrible news like yours. I lost my brother a few weeks before Christmas several years ago.

Perhaps in your mind, "my God" killed my little brother as a part of a little game he plays. In my mind, he was hit by a locomotive and likely suffered horribly for at least a few moments, even though we were told he "died instantly".

Perhaps another person would say that it was part of God's plan that the train crossing was not visible, and yet another may say that it was "his plan" in that his death changed the lives of everyone who knew him.

I don't know the answer, but I don't blame God.

I'm so very sorry to hear of your grandmother's condition. I hope it helps to know that others do care that you feel the way you do, and know what it's like to be in your shoes.

This may not be what you want to hear right now, but I'm going to say a prayer for your grandmother after I finish typing this.

Again, I'm sorry to hear the sad news.

[t1m0thy]

Last new year it was my mother-in-law...4 years before that right before Christmas it was my other grandmother.

I've had my fill of cancer. Sorry to rant my troubles but I just need to vent.

I'm not mad at god...I don't believe he exists. I am angry with the irrational belief that this is part of some imaginary divine plan. That to me devalues the true measure of the life we should be honoring. To say that she was "meant" to have cancer somehow is disgusting to me. I am not looking for counseling on the matter just expressing how this and other events has made me feel disgust at the illusion people that I care about continue to buy into despite all objective evidence.

[Exbiker]

Without faith we are just ants scurrying around an ant farm with no purpose for living or even a reason for morality. God didn`t create the shit that happens or force us to do anything. Pull up the story about Huddy on here. It begins in July of 08. It will rip your guts out. I`ll bet that even for the short time Huddy was here he changed lives. God didn`t take him, an awful disease did but I`ll bet God welcomed him to heaven with loving arms.

We honor those that left by celebrating there lives not by morning their passing.

[kpw]

I'm truely sorry to hear about your grandmother. My grandmother, who I thought was a living angel, battled cancer for 8 years before it took her. She never lost her faith or questioned why she had to go through what she did but I did. I asked her why God would put her through that. She smiled and told me it was just part of life's lessons. God wasn't a magic genie that exisits to grant our wishes and make our lives wonderful. Our lives are filled with lessons to be learned from birth to death and it's what we learn from those lessons that make us, as a people, who we are. We cannot know compassion without suffering. It's been 24 years since I heard those words and I remember them like it was 5 minutes ago.

Being an atheist, I doubt that will comfort you in any way but if your grandmother or family has faith in God and it comforts them, why would that make you angry? Do you really believe that having faith limits the potential of man? Do you really believe you have proof there is no God or after-life? Please share it with the rest of the world and let us know how a 30 yo. guy from PA figured it out when so many brilliant minds haven't been able to since the beginning of man. Rest assured that for as much as you "know" there is no God, there are many more that "know" there is. Take comfort in your beliefs but don't begrudge your family theirs.

[cgbudde]

Sorry to hear about your grandmother. I can understand your anger.


I have had 4 family members die from some form of cancer. The first person was and still is the hardest to accept, he was my brother and he was only 36.

[Philbert]

Without faith we are just ants scurrying around an ant farm with no purpose for living or even a reason for morality. God didn`t create the shit that happens or force us to do anything. Pull up the story about Huddy on here. It begins in July of 08. It will rip your guts out. I`ll bet that even for the short time Huddy was here he changed lives. God didn`t take him, an awful disease did but I`ll bet God welcomed him to heaven with loving arms.

We honor those that left by celebrating there lives not by morning their passing.

Huddy's dad still posts occasionally, so we should probably leave him out of it.

[MrsMtnJack]

My father was 58, my mother was 68, Jack is 51.

I hate cancer. I love my God.

I understand what you are saying. I have struggled with this issue myself.
I used to share your worldview.
Part of what you should consider is that people do have different worldviews that are a part of their own history. None of us can force our understandings on another, nor should we berate or belittle the other just because we walk a different path.

Though I had attended church, I wasn't "Christian" when my dad died, but my dad was "Christian." I didn't understand why his great God didn't cure him. My Dad on the other hand considered each step and each breath and each utterence from his mouth to be a gift from God and and such should be honered in use for His purpose. Dad saw each nurse, doctor, hospital worker through the eyes of the almighty and considered his sickness/weakness as His purpose. God didn't create cancer, but He uses it for His purposes.

There are two books by C.S. Lewis called "Mere Christianity" and "The Problem of Pain" which go into greater depths of understanding faith and pain than I can convey this morning. They might shed some light onto how Christians really are.

I would also reaffirm that I understand how you don't understand. I didn't understand Christians either until I was broken and asked Jesus to be my Lord and Savior. That simple prayer for help has literally made me a new person with a new worldview. I think Osmosis? would be the right word.

Going to church is different than being the Church.
True Christians are the Church.
Big difference in worldviews...