I'm not Italian.
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What's the difference between a hippo and an Italian mother-in-law?
About 50 pounds and a black dress.
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Hey, baby, you got any Italian in you?
Want some?
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Italian father with 3 sons takes note of a difference between them, so he asks them each a question:
DAD: Nicki, why you so fat?
NICKI: It's Mama's cooking Papa. She makes the best manicotti in town.
DAD: Nicki, you gotta take'a smaller bites!
DAD: Jimmy, why you so fat?
JIMMY: It's Mama's cooking Papa. She makes the best calzone in town.
DAD: Jimmy, you gotta take'a smaller bites!
DAD: Ant'ny, what do you eat to stay so skinny?
ANTHONY: Pussy, Papa.
DAD: Pussy? Pussy taste like shit!
ANTHONY: Papa, you gotta take smaller bites!