Pennsylvania Firearm Owners Association
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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Reading, Pennsylvania
    (Berks County)
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    Default wife's giving me a hard time about deciding to carry.

    Any suggestions. My wife never had any problems with my guns I own for hunting.UNTIL my recent purchase of a handgun and my desicsion to carry in the future. There has been some debates and she doesn't want to talk about it. "your going to shoot yourself and what are you going to do if someone pulls a gun on you." "more people are shot having a gun for protection than not" I have heard all these things.She said she will not go anywhere with me if i have it and tells me that I WON'T carry it around the house(thinks it is ignorant). Years ago she got he LCTF after getting a job that causes her to interact with people that come to hate her.Hence are ph. # is unlisted.She has never carried but she does have a 38 revovler inherited after her dad died.She gave me the gun, which sat in a drawer for years. I'm trying to convince her to join the range with me.She is as I was for years, your average person walking around saying what are the chances of something violent happening to me. My initial purpose was to carry when I go night fishing by myself, but feel I may very well grow comfortable with my pistol and choose to carry more often. I've been in this relationship for 14 years, but only married for a year and a half.I hope she'll get over it cause I'm not looking to get divorced already.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
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    Poconos, Pennsylvania
    (Monroe County)
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    Default Re: wife's giving me a hard time about deciding to carry.

    Explain to her it's for protection and that you won't shoot yourself because you know how to safely handle a firearm.

    As far as "what if" questions/scenarios, tell her you won't until it happens but atleast you will have a chance to make it home to her at night... also, let her know that you would be more likely to face someone with a blunt weapon (pipe, bat) or with a knife. Getting into a shoot out is less likely to happen than 100 other ways of being victimized.

    Then, carry.
    Quote Originally Posted by headcase View Post
    let them eventually bring the FBI to kill my wife and son over fucking chickens....

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Center Ice, Pennsylvania
    (Schuylkill County)
    Age
    35
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    Default Re: wife's giving me a hard time about deciding to carry.

    Quote Originally Posted by sixstringer View Post
    Any suggestions. My wife never had any problems with my guns I own for hunting.UNTIL my recent purchase of a handgun and my desicsion to carry in the future. There has been some debates and she doesn't want to talk about it. "your going to shoot yourself and what are you going to do if someone pulls a gun on you." "more people are shot having a gun for protection than not" I have heard all these things.She said she will not go anywhere with me if i have it and tells me that I WON'T carry it around the house(thinks it is ignorant). Years ago she got he LCTF after getting a job that causes her to interact with people that come to hate her.Hence are ph. # is unlisted.She has never carried but she does have a 38 revovler inherited after her dad died.She gave me the gun, which sat in a drawer for years. I'm trying to convince her to join the range with me.She is as I was for years, your average person walking around saying what are the chances of something violent happening to me. My initial purpose was to carry when I go night fishing by myself, but feel I may very well grow comfortable with my pistol and choose to carry more often. I've been in this relationship for 14 years, but only married for a year and a half.I hope she'll get over it cause I'm not looking to get divorced already.
    First of all, I would not even consider divorce over something like this. If she truly loves you, she will accept it whether she agrees with it or not.

    Second, try showing her some cases in which people were not armed, and were attacked. And likewise, show some where people were armed. Pick some instances that could happen to her personally, so she can easily relate to the situation.

    My father still tells me when he sees me packing "what do you need that for around here?" (meaning our home town) I always give hime some smart answer like "Well, let me give the bad guys a call and see if they're taking the day off or not." And it usually ends there. Understand, this is the man that introduced me to guns, and has gone shooting with me for years. He understands, but he is a bit naive, since we live in a smaller town, he doesn't think I really "need" to carry it around there.

    I realize it can be tough when a loved one opposes your carry views. I'm sure someone else on here can offer more experience advice... but hang in there
    III%

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    Quakertown, Pennsylvania
    (Bucks County)
    Age
    44
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    Default Re: wife's giving me a hard time about deciding to carry.

    Be gentle with her. This is not something to get a divorce over. I would respect her wishes and with that not make the carry a huge issue till she is more comfortable with the idea of gun safety. Talk to her about maybe joining a class. When I first bought my gun my wife was really nervous about me carrying till I brought her to a class and I showed her that I was being responsible with my ownership of a firearm. the more you fight about it though the more she will shut down to the idea of it. It sounds like you just have a wife that really loves you and is just a little ignorant to gun ownership. Be glad that your wife is not wanting you to get hurt and now just be patient and she will come around.
    Look to the One Who is wearing what should have been your scars...

  5. #5
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    SE PA, Pennsylvania
    (Delaware County)
    Posts
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    Default Re: wife's giving me a hard time about deciding to carry.

    Well, first of all, I don't think it's any cause for a divorce.

    A point of information that might be useful to you would be Boston's Gun Bible. Get it on Amazon. It has many statistics in it that would refute your wife's claim that more people get shot when they have a gun for defense than not. I believe that people that resisted an attacker with a gun was the least amount (percentage) of people injured in violent altercations. I haven't looked at it in a while so I'm not sure it's the lowest, but I am sure that it was lower than if someone were to not resist at all.

    I would just try to see what her hang-ups are about it and make clear to her that you're not trying to be a vigilante or anything. It's like having a fire extinguisher in your house: you hope to never use it, but it's there if you need it.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    May 2008
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    Claymont, Delaware
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    Default Re: wife's giving me a hard time about deciding to carry.

    I guess you could use the seat belt, car, health, life and homeowners insurance and fire extinguisher analogies. We don't have those because the odds are that we'll die of old age, but because things sometimes happen, outside of our control.
    Divided we ever have been, and ever must be.Two thirds always had and will have more difficulty to struggle with the one third than with all our foreign enemies. - John Adams

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Reading, Pennsylvania
    (Berks County)
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    Default Re: wife's giving me a hard time about deciding to carry.

    Quote Originally Posted by NikeBauer21 View Post
    First of all, I would not even consider divorce over something like this. If she truly loves you, she will accept it whether she agrees with it or not.

    Second, try showing her some cases in which people were not armed, and were attacked. And likewise, show some where people were armed. Pick some instances that could happen to her personally, so she can easily relate to the situation.

    My father still tells me when he sees me packing "what do you need that for around here?" (meaning our home town) I always give hime some smart answer like "Well, let me give the bad guys a call and see if they're taking the day off or not." And it usually ends there. Understand, this is the man that introduced me to guns, and has gone shooting with me for years. He understands, but he is a bit naive, since we live in a smaller town, he doesn't think I really "need" to carry it around there.

    I realize it can be tough when a loved one opposes your carry views. I'm sure someone else on here can offer more experience advice... but hang in there
    No divorce isn't an option, just tryin' to add some humor to all of this.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Bucks Cty, Pennsylvania
    (Bucks County)
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    70
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    Default Re: wife's giving me a hard time about deciding to carry.

    Quote Originally Posted by sixstringer View Post
    There has been some debates and she doesn't want to talk about it. "your going to shoot yourself and what are you going to do if someone pulls a gun on you." "more people are shot having a gun for protection than not" I have heard all these things.
    No disrespect, but your wife is being emotional and unreasonable. Stop being on the defensive and ask her to substantiate these claims. They are in reality, anti talking points not at all based on fact. There are literally hundreds of thousands or more carrying just here in PA.
    There is no pandemic of accidents etc. And bold is total BS. It's just not true.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Reading, Pennsylvania
    (Berks County)
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    Default Re: wife's giving me a hard time about deciding to carry.

    She says that I'm brainwashed by this "progun" site.Fact is I've always enjoyed hunting and guns.Got invovled with skeet shooting a few years back. shot her uncles Glock a few weeks ago and realized how much fun it was.Told her I might want to take some courses and maybe get involved in some of these action shoots for training/fun. Iguess the "purpose" of a handgun is what scares her.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Reading, Pennsylvania
    (Berks County)
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    Default Re: wife's giving me a hard time about deciding to carry.

    Quote Originally Posted by PocketProtector View Post
    No disrespect, but your wife is being emotional and unreasonable. Stop being on the defensive and ask her to substantiate these claims. They are in reality, anti talking points not at all based on fact. There are literally hundreds of thousands or more carrying just here in PA.
    There is no pandemic of accidents etc. And bold is total BS. It's just not true.
    No disrespect and I agree.Trying to tread gently here,but told her that it really wasn't for discussion.I would not have opposed her if she chose to carry with the proper training.She had her LCTF years ago.I just got mine two weeks ago.

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