difference between Democrats & Republicans

[LorDiego01]

I thought this was way funny, and figured I'd share..

Question: How do you tell the difference between Democrats,
Republicans and Southern Republicans?
The answer can be found by posing the following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small
children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife
comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities,
raises the knife, and charges. You are carrying a Glock 9 mm, and you are an
expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.
What do you do?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Democrat's Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does
the man look poor or Oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that
would inspire him to attack? Could we run! away?
What does my wife think?
What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and
knock the knife out of his hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to
society and to my children?
Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to
wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get
away while he was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1? Why is this street so deserted?
We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make
this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such
behavior.
This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends
for a few days and try to come to a consensus.

~ Republican's Answer: BANG!

Southern Republican's Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
click....(sounds
of reloading). BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG!
click
Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips??"

[MarcS]

I prefer to look at the intent of the robber. If the robber is a democrat, he's most likely just wants the cash out of your wallet. If the robber is a republican, he wants your credit cards so he can rack up a huge mastercard bill.

[Brick]

Here's another way,

Picture Newt Gingrich and Hillary Clinton walking down the street together. They are approached by a homeless man who asks Newt for a handout. Newt says, I won't give you a handout, but I'll give you a job, be at my office at 9:00 A.M. tomorrow to start. Then Newt reaches into his pocket pulls out $20 and gives it to the man, telling "him here's an advance on your salary".

Well Hillary is so impressed that when another homeless man approaches them for a handout, Hillary reaches into Newts pocket and takes out $20, gives $5 to the homeless man along with directions to the local welfare office and keeps the other $15 as a consulting fee.

[RandomTask]

~ Republican's Answer: BANG!

Not anymore. More like:

If he's not dressed like a bad guy, I shouldn't shoot him unless I want to get courtmartialed.
Because he only has a knife and therefore he's outgunned, I shouldn't shoot him unless I want to get courtmartialed.
If he eventually pulls a gun but doesn't fire first, I shouldn't shoot him unless I want to get courtmartialed.
If I shoot him, but he runs accross the border and files a complaint even though he's toting drugs and in the country illegally, I should go to jail for about 12 years.
I can just let him take all my wallet, because as the US dollar devalues, he'll actually have less money than he thinks.
If I throw more money at him, he'll have the "taste for freedom" and eventually leave me alone.
I can't "win his heart and mind" by shooting him.

[LorDiego01]

If I shoot him, but he runs accross the border and files a complaint even though he's toting drugs and in the country illegally, I should go to jail for about 12 years.

Shouldnt that read...

"If he turns around, and I shoot him in the back, and he files a complain even though he's tooting drugs and in the country illegaly, I should go to jail for about 12 years because shooting people in the back is not right regardless of what happened?"

[RandomTask]

Actually, he was shot in the ass. And I believe it should be policy to shoot anyone, front or back, if they're here illegally as a pack mule for the drug cartels and fleeing arrest.

[Atomic Dog]

Just shows the difference between a handgun and a rifle


An AR-15 would have saved us taxpayers so much time and money.....

[NineseveN]

I prefer to look at the intent of the robber. If the robber is a democrat, he's most likely just wants the cash out of your wallet. If the robber is a republican, he wants your credit cards so he can rack up a huge mastercard bill.

Hehe. Good one.

[MarcS]

Actually, he was shot in the ass. And I believe it should be policy to shoot anyone, front or back, if they're here illegally as a pack mule for the drug cartels and fleeing arrest.

Should we need a license to exercise our right to own a handgun? If you believe we should not, why do you believe we need licenses to engage in free commerce without risk being summarily executed by government authorities?

[LorDiego01]

Actually, he was shot in the ass. And I believe it should be policy to shoot anyone, front or back, if they're here illegally as a pack mule for the drug cartels and fleeing arrest.

I think a shot in the ass of an unarmed person constitutes the cowardly act of shooting said person in the back.

As for the rest of your philosophy, I think it proves the point of the anti-gun people.