Results 1 to 10 of 13
-
October 28th, 2009, 12:12 AM #1Banned
- Join Date
- Apr 2008
- Location
-
...
- Posts
- 4,125
- Rep Power
- 0
Don’t Bring a Knife to a Coffee Fight
As blogged:
Saturday leaving my office, I was the subject of an attempted mugging by a member of the Indianapolis Choir Boy School of Good Men Who are Only Down on Their Luck. As I was leaving my office, said altar boy came around the corner of my building to the left into the side parking lot, and as I turned to face him noticed the knife in his right hand. The Chaplain’s Assistant demanded that we engage in an abbreviated barter process, wherein I would provide my wallet and car keys in exchange for not getting shanktified, which to him probably seemed like a reasonable exchange.
I politely demurred by hurling a cup of hot Starbucks at him while fishing my Beretta Jetfire out of the stupid pocket holster it was riding in. After taking a face full of Columbia’s most popular legal export and confronted with a counter offer of bullets to his previous barter exchange concept, the young gentlemen decided that discretion was the better part of valor and made all due haste in a westerly direction. For my part, I locked myself in my office, called 911 and waited for the cops to arrive to take my report.
http://www.outsidethebeltway.com/arc..._coffee_fight/
-
October 28th, 2009, 12:22 AM #2Grand Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2009
- Location
-
X <-- You are here
- Posts
- 1,640
- Rep Power
- 58781
-
October 28th, 2009, 09:08 AM #3
Re: Don’t Bring a Knife to a Coffee Fight
I love the writing style!
Thanks for sharing! That made my morning.==============
“If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquillity of servitude than the animating contest of freedom, — go from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains sit lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that ye were our countrymen!”
~Samuel Adams
"I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it."
~Thomas Jefferson, 1791
-
October 28th, 2009, 05:56 PM #4
Re: Don’t Bring a Knife to a Coffee Fight
Glad everything turned out ok. Except your out one coffee.
I'd rather be judged by twelve than carried by six!
-
October 28th, 2009, 06:05 PM #5Banned
- Join Date
- Apr 2008
- Location
-
...
- Posts
- 4,125
- Rep Power
- 0
-
October 28th, 2009, 06:21 PM #6
-
October 29th, 2009, 05:14 AM #7Banned
- Join Date
- Apr 2008
- Location
-
...
- Posts
- 4,125
- Rep Power
- 0
Re: Don’t Bring a Knife to a Coffee Fight
Just a thought for the person who gave me rep and made the black coffee joke in the process: does color really matter when someone is coming at you with a knife? Is there anything in the original poster's words (and no, for the few brain surgeons who seem to have thought that it was I who threw the coffee in the criminal's face, no, again, IT WASN'T ME, to completely vernacularize it for you) that makes it a dead-lock certainty that this person wasn't strangely the color of the Grinch, or perhaps an Oompa-Loompa?
-
October 29th, 2009, 08:38 AM #8
-
October 29th, 2009, 11:22 AM #9Banned
- Join Date
- Apr 2008
- Location
-
...
- Posts
- 4,125
- Rep Power
- 0
Re: Don’t Bring a Knife to a Coffee Fight
" ... so I incapacitated him by tossing my Venti Mocha Valencia into his big, ugly bruiser face, all the while scratching mightily through my purse trying to lay a hand on my pearl-handled Beretta Jetfire without breaking a nail ... "
... and then, there's how it might have read. Do you think a froo-froo brew would have had enough knock-down power, or do you think anything less than a 100% Colombian with an espresso kicker isn't bringing enough coffee to the fight?
-
October 29th, 2009, 11:31 AM #10
Re: Don’t Bring a Knife to a Coffee Fight
Do they allow guns in Starbucks?
On a separate note, if he was "leaving" his office, how did he have a cup of "hot" Starbucks coffee on him?Attorney Phil Kline, AKA gunlawyer001@gmail.com
Ce sac n'est pas un jouet.
Similar Threads
-
I think I got Cop Coffee
By ungawa in forum Open CarryReplies: 97Last Post: April 15th, 2012, 09:30 PM -
Whats that saying about taking a knife to a gun fight??
By jud4420 in forum GeneralReplies: 23Last Post: September 14th, 2009, 09:58 PM -
Why you shouldnt bring a knife to a gun fight.
By OrionBricks in forum GeneralReplies: 12Last Post: June 18th, 2009, 08:32 AM -
Don't bring a knife to a gun fight...
By awkx in forum GeneralReplies: 2Last Post: May 24th, 2008, 12:17 PM -
coffee
By reel762 in forum GeneralReplies: 35Last Post: August 12th, 2007, 11:31 AM
Bookmarks