Tired of email small talk. my creative response.

[Ten*K]

Just got an email from my Father who is up in New England for a family reunion. Not being able to attend myself, and having absolutely nothing else interesting to say, I replied to his rather mundane and predictable account of his trip with the following:

"Glad you're having fun.

The military has been keeping the media out, but it's been an absolute fucking NIGHTMARE here. Full-blown ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE!!! The shit has hit the fan. A wounded soldier told me if it can't be contained in the next six hours, they are going to hit the entire city with MOAB's. He was bitten, and starting to turn. I put a bullet in his brain and took his ammo and chow. The roads are all cordoned off by the National Guard, and black helicopters are patrolling overhead. Wife and I are wrapping ourselves and the dog in aluminum foil to mask our heat signature so they don't pick us up on FLIR. I've got a way out of the city through the Guard's lines... just hope the god-damned Shamblers don't get us. I fucking KNEW I should have bought more ammo and a silencer. When we make it out, we're heading north-west... Montana maybe. Hopefully the infection doesn't spread, and if it does, it won't spread that far.

Keep a lookout up there... and find something to defend yourself with just in case. Remember, the only way to take out a Zed-Head is with a head shot or decapitation. you can't reason with them and for god's sake DON'T SET THEM ON FIRE!

And if nothing happens up there to otherwise distract you, say "Hi!" to everyone for us. Don't tell them what's happening to us, though... it'll just upset them and might draw the attention of the Government."

That ought to be good for a laugh.

[xd40_jim]

Hahahaha, that's good, I would love to see his face as he starts to read that!!

[CerealKiller]

That's fuckin' awesome. Rep sent for creativity

[Lady Beretta]

His reply:
Dear Son
The men in the white coats outside your door are bringing.. Zombie Medicine. LET THEM IN.
Really.......HONEST...........I PROMISE.

Love Dad

[Warpt762x39]

Rep to you sir. Post up his reply if and when he sends one. Lol

[Curmudgeon]

LMAO...

This thread is full of WIN!!

[NikeBauer21]

What if he comes rolling down here in a 5ton loaded with supplies and weapons now.. ready to kill some stinking zombies?!

[GuyMontag]

Dear Son

We're home after cutting our visit short. The family wasn't happy, but I couldn't tell them I was going home to power up the shelter. They'd all want in and I only have so much aluminum foil. Sam's Club had a sale, but I will say I'm surprised at how much foil it takes to cover a HAZMAT suit.

Your mother is fine, but can't say hi right now. She said it was a bug bite, but it looked like teeth marks on her neck. I tied her down and gagged her as a precaution. I think she may be turning as she won't stop screaming through that gag and is really fighting the binds. I think later I'll add some duct tape. I don't have any more rope.

Our neighbor Bob was out walking his dog. He asked what was up with all the foil and why we were climbing into the sewers with guns. I told him he better get inside and be ready. I asked if he had ammo. He got weird and called someone on his cell. I'd bet he was warning others. Smart guy.

Someone's calling for me at the hatch. Nobody knows we're here except Bob and whoever he called. I'll see who it is and email again later.

Stay safe
Dad

[7998]

That ought to be good for a laugh.

Dear Son



Stay safe
Dad

Thanks for the chuckles guys.

[Ten*K]

What if he comes rolling down here in a 5ton loaded with supplies and weapons now.. ready to kill some stinking zombies?!

That.. would be totally awesome.

Thanks for those reppies.