Today’s ridiculous criminal story

[internet troll]

https://nypost.com/2018/05/26/thief-...robbing-store/

Thief sues after being shot while robbing store

By Kathianne Boniello
Thief sues after being shot while robbing store
He’s a lousy crook — and an even worse jailhouse lawyer.

A bumbling Long Island liquor-store thief who got caught stuffing bottles of hooch in his pants, only to be shot by the store’s owner as he tried to get away, wants $2.7 million for his injuries.

But Shawn Harris can’t even get the name of the store or the shooter right.

In the handwritten lawsuit he filed himself, Harris describes in detail how he and a pal ripped off the store on Newbridge Road in North Bellmore, LI, in August 2016, starting in the “Hennesey [sic] and Patron section.”

Harris “removed 4 bottles of liquor and I put 2 bottles in my pants and walked to pay for the other 2 bottles and [the store owner] asked for I.D. and I told him I need to go to the car and get my I.D. and I went outside and Dropped the 2 Bottles,” he wrote.

Harris, who was with two pals, was trying for another two bottles when the store owner — who he names as “Lan Dong Dong” of Grapes & Grains, in Baldwin, LI — followed the three men outside.

“We was followed outside and the store owner pulled out a handgun and stated give me the bottles back,” Harris writes in the Brooklyn federal-court lawsuit he filed from his cellphone in the Nassau County Correctional Center.

The owner struggled with the men, trying to grab the keys from their car’s ignition before opening fire.

“During this the store owner shoots my friend and he confronted me outside the car and shot me also and I ran off,” Harris writes. “I was shot by Lan Dong Dong in my right shoulder and I did not receive medical treatment because I was scared of Getting Arrested . . . so I did my own medical treatment.”

But the theft actually occurred at a store called Newbridge Wine & Liquors, in North Bellmore — not Grapes & Grains, and Lan Dong Dong isn’t the owner who shot Harris, according to reports.

“I want to be compusated [sic] 2.7 million dollars for my injuries,” Harris wrote.

Dong, who owns Grapes & Grains, had heard of the Newbridge robbery but said his store hadn’t been robbed.

“I don’t know how he got my name and store name,” Dong told The Post.

One man was arrested at the time of the 2016 incident, while Harris was caught later and pleaded guilty in November to petty larceny. He was sentenced in January to six months in jail.

[Metz]

Who the hell names their store Lan Dong Dong, when they can name it Long Dong Dong!

[tarzan]

Wonder if he will face charges for practicing medicine without a license.

[Daycrawler]

via Imgflip Meme Generator

[TaePo]

Are you allowed to use deadly force when protecting property in NY?

Can't really go by the filed suit as it is full of holes as far as stating facts.

However, the owner has a right to confront thieves, ask them to desist and give up, place them under arrest, take their keys out of the car etc. If they resist, then he may be able to use deadly force. Though left out of the suit, I believe the thieves resisted with force and possibly deadly force or threat of deadly force.

This is why self-defense or castle doctrine / stand your ground laws prevent criminals from filing civil lawsuits in cases of justified self-defense. Without these laws, even with little to any basis, they could just keep filing suits to harass their victims, especially those who 'fight back'. Luckily, the law generally holds that whatever happens during a criminal act is the fault of the criminal.

[Jhaydeno]

Who the hell names their store Lan Dong Dong, when they can name it Long Dong Dong!

Or Long Duck Dong from 16 Candles! If you aren't one of us old folks and have never seen the movie, you're in for a treat:

https://youtu.be/9qwBuBCTKTU

[Daycrawler]

Or Long Duck Dong from 16 Candles! If you aren't one of us old folks and have never seen the movie, you're in for a treat:

https://youtu.be/9qwBuBCTKTU

via Imgflip Meme Generator

[HKusp 45]

Or Long Duck Dong from 16 Candles! If you aren't one of us old folks and have never seen the movie, you're in for a treat:

https://youtu.be/9qwBuBCTKTU

dammit now I need to watch this again ...like now