Pennsylvania Firearm Owners Association
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  1. #11
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
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    Dillsburg, Pennsylvania
    (York County)
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    Default Re: can a 15 year old visit her mom in jail?

    Quote Originally Posted by D6557 View Post
    Main problem I have is She will see her mom in a jail jumpsuitShe will see other inmates and women behind bars The guards could be intimidating Is that ok for a 15 year old to see?

    it would be weird to see her mom basically in that jail jumpsuit like the people you see on TV

    Actually my daughter does not seem scared but instead seems excited and enthusiastic to visit. This is strange to me. Do you find this normal? my daughter seems to poke a little fun at her mom having to wear a uniform, follow guards orders, and change and shower with others. I wonder if that is normal. My wife doesn't mind and even joked about it a bit. They have a good relationship my daughter also seems interested in knowing what the jail is like. I wonder if that is normal as well
    Parole officer here...my two cents...If the daughter wants to go, let her. Within the criminal justice field, a parent going to prison is considered trauma for the child left behind. With that, your description of the way your daughter is acting does not sound right for a first time parent/offender going away. Seems like the daughter is not disturbed at all by what has happened to her mother, or either she is putting up one heck of a defense mechanism. I see far too often family members visiting and some members see the jail time as nothing or wear it like a badge on their sleeve and have no problem emulating the delinquent behavior; I hope this isn't the case with your daughter. As far as your wife, I hope she can come terms that the family bond should be greater than her desire to do criminal acts. Mom has to have the desire, ability, reason, and need to change. Her going to prison and or saying 'sorry' won't change anything in of themselves. Mom needs to use her time wisely while locked up and get involved in any and all programming available to her to change her thinking and behavior that put you all in this predicament.

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Location
    Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
    (Allegheny County)
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    Default Re: can a 15 year old visit her mom in jail?

    Quote Originally Posted by D6557 View Post
    Main problem I have is She will see her mom in a jail jumpsuitShe will see other inmates and women behind bars The guards could be intimidating Is that ok for a 15 year old to see?
    Yes. It is OK, in my view. Why? Because it is REALITY! Even better, it is PERSONAL reality. Up close. For real. No bullshit. This is how it is. If you fuck up, this can happen to you. Look, it happened to your mom. This isn't abstract. This isn't theory. This isn't "someone else, somewhere out there". This is your life and your people. It can happen to YOU! You are not invincible.

    Actually my daughter does not seem scared but instead seems excited and enthusiastic to visit. This is strange to me. Do you find this normal? my daughter seems to poke a little fun at her mom having to wear a uniform, follow guards orders, and change and shower with others. I wonder if that is normal. My wife doesn't mind and even joked about it a bit.
    This does seem a little strange. I think to some degree, she is romanticizing the concept of jail...probably because of what she sees on TV. I think visiting a real jail and seeing the actual reality will cure that real quick.

    I bet there are a lot of people sitting in cells somewhere who wish they had known what it was really like long before they did whatever it was that got them there.

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    Location
    Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
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    Default Re: can a 15 year old visit her mom in jail?

    Quote Originally Posted by free View Post
    Yes. It is OK, in my view. Why? Because it is REALITY! Even better, it is PERSONAL reality. Up close. For real. No bullshit. This is how it is. If you fuck up, this can happen to you. Look, it happened to your mom. This isn't abstract. This isn't theory. This isn't "someone else, somewhere out there". This is your life and your people. It can happen to YOU! You are not invincible.

    This does seem a little strange. I think to some degree, she is romanticizing the concept of jail...probably because of what she sees on TV. I think visiting a real jail and seeing the actual reality will cure that real quick.

    I bet there are a lot of people sitting in cells somewhere who wish they had known what it was really like long before they did whatever it was that got them there.


    my daughter does want to go and she even said something like "mom is in jail and I want to visit, why are we braver than you". It was a clear joke obviously.


    do you think my daughter feels it is kind of interesting to see the inside of a jail but not be a prisoner there?


    also I heard me and my daughter can learn a lot and have good discussions about these things. What do you think are the main things we can learn?

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Folsom, Pennsylvania
    (Delaware County)
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    Default Re: can a 15 year old visit her mom in jail?

    I visited my brother when he was inside. The thing that sticks in my memory most was the faces of the prisoners after the family left. They would stand by the door back inside laughing and smiling as their family left. As soon as the door to the outside closed, their prison face would come down like a window shade and they would go back inside. Not that I needed any convincing that prison wasn't where I wanted to be, but it was really sobering to watch that transformation over and over...

    I say let her go.

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Mechanicsburg, Pennsylvania
    (Cumberland County)
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    544
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    3170248

    Default Re: can a 15 year old visit her mom in jail?

    Quote Originally Posted by D6557 View Post
    my daughter does want to go and she even said something like "mom is in jail and I want to visit, why are we braver than you". It was a clear joke obviously.


    do you think my daughter feels it is kind of interesting to see the inside of a jail but not be a prisoner there?


    also I heard me and my daughter can learn a lot and have good discussions about these things. What do you think are the main things we can learn?
    Are you just trolling with this? It has to be a joke.

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