How to lose weight...

[Tsgtbob]

Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my dog at Wal-Mart and was about to check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her
no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet
again. Although I probably shouldn't, because I'd ended up in the
hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in
an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way
that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and
simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is
nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to
mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog
food poisoned me. I told her no; I stepped off a curb to sniff an
Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was
laughing so hard!

WAL-MART WON'T let me shop there anymore!!

[str8shooter]

There's your sign.........Bill Engvall

[er2006]

Wal-Mart does not have a sense of humor.

[gf45acp]

That's great!

[dc dalton]

Oh that's just hysterical!

[RocketFoot]

That happened to me when I tried the Purina Diet...except that I ended up in the hospital because a Pit Bull smelled the nuggets in my pocket and attacked me in order to get them! Oh the memories...

[Agent Smith]

Reminds me of my younger days when I worked at a kennel. My buddies that worked there and I basically dared each other to eat dog food.

I must say, dry dog food taste like cardboard, but the wet food is surprisingly not that bad.

Good times.

[Tsgtbob]

... a Pit Bull smelled the nuggets in my pocket and attacked me in order to get them! Oh the memories...

Rocket, why are your nuggets in your pocket. Make that "why WERE"?

I must say, dry dog food taste like cardboard, but the wet food is surprisingly not that bad.

Oh. C rations
(we also called 'em Ken-L-Rations for a reason...)

[JayBell]

btw, if ya put the IMG tags on your signature file, it will display it, not the link.




hit the "quote" button to cut and paste IMG tag code with URL right in to your signature.

[Evolution]

That is funny stuff right there. I can't believe they actually permit you from coming back for that.