Dave the hen
>
> Dave came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking
> drunk, as he often did, and crept into bed beside his wife who was
> already asleep.
>
> He gave her a peck on the cheek and fell asleep. When he awoke, he
> found a strange man standing at the end of his bed. 'Who the hell are
> you?', demanded Dave, 'and what are you doing in my bedroom ?'
>
> The mysterious man answered, 'This isn't your bedroom and I'm St Peter.'
>
> Dave was stunned. 'You mean I'm dead !!! That can't be, I have so much
> to live for - and I haven't said goodbye to my family. . . You've got
> to send me back straight away.'
>
> St Peter replied, 'Yes, you can be reincarnated but there is a catch.
> We can only send you back as a dog or a hen.'
>
> Dave was devastated, but knowing there was a farm not far from his
> house, he asked to be sent back as a hen.
>
> A flash of light later, he was covered in feathers and clucking
> around, pecking the ground.
>
> 'This ain't so bad', he thought until he felt this strange feeling
> welling up inside him. The farmyard rooster strolled over and said,
> 'So you're the new hen, How are you enjoying your first day here ?'
>
> 'It's not so bad', replies Dave, 'but I have this strange feeling
> inside like I'm about to explode.'
>
> 'You're ovulating', explained the rooster. 'Don't tell me you've never
> laid an egg before.'
>
> 'Never', replies Dave.
>
> 'Well just relax and let it happen'.
>
> And so he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg pops
> out from under his tail. An immense feeling of relief swept over him
> and his emotions got the better of him as he experienced motherhood
> for the first time.
>
> When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was overwhelming
> and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that
> ever happened to him . . . Ever!!!
>
> The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg, he
> felt an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his wife
> shouting...
>
>
>
>
>
>
>

> 'Dave, wake up, you drunken bastard. You've sh*t the bed !!'