Courtesy and manners in private firearms sales. A Rant.

[Whiskey Delta]

I am going to go on a slight rant here folks, so bear with me.

I have so far utilized the private sale boards here several times. In every time that I was able to finalize a sale, it was great. Met some nice people, got some nice guns. For the ones out there that have met me, it was awesome. Really.

For every great experience, one must sift through some serious chaff though, and the bad manners that the 'chaff' bring with them is amazing. People who would never put their elbows on the table at Thanksgiving, who hold the door open for little old ladies, and put the seat back down for their wives turn into boorish, rude and under-developed swine when they see a 'for sale' ad on the internet.


Here is a primer on purchasing a gun via the internet, hopefully we can all learn something so that my blood pressure does not skyrocket any further:

It is acceptable to inquire as to whether the gun "is still for sale". Especially when this forum setup makes it impossible to delete an advertisement.

What chaps my ass is the needless nonsense that goes along afterwards.

Listen up folks.

The advertised price is the price. Some people haggle, some don't. People who want to haggle over price will actually STATE that, either explicitly stated as such, or implied through a statement such as "Best offer".

If someone simply posts a price, then you can pretty much bet that that is it.

You sending a note via E-mail asking "what is your rock bottom price" without a real offer intended are the equivalent of shoving your hand up a woman's shirt on the first date right after you say "hi". It's rude folks. You date would not like it, and neither do I. You might get a slap in the face from the former. I won't give you a slap, but my computer monitor will suffer. Oh yes, it will suffer.

This is the way it works: You make an offer. There is consideration, and then there is agreement.

In a related vein, if you ASK me, "will you take XXX" for it" that constitutes an OFFER and if I say yes, you better be in a position to pony up the dough. To do otherwise is a fruitless session of time wasting and ball scratching. Not that I have an issue with ball scratching. Just the time wasting part pisses me off. Listen, if I offered your sister money in exchange for services, her pimp would kick my ass if if the deal fell through. I expect the same consideration.

Most people looking for trades will also state that, but not me. I love finding out what detritus people have accumulated over the decades that they now think is worth the same as my AH Fox 12g double, with selective ejectors and custom scroll work. People offer broken dirt bikes, (here is a clue. When the nubs on the rear tire are worn smooth, either replace the tire or expect me to assume you beat the tar out of it), farm equipment, (which is great if you live in an apartment) complete album collections on vinyl (hey, who knew that Dolly Parton used to NOT wear a wig!) and the usual motley assortment of tactical gear that they realized was made to fit someone who was actually IN SHAPE. (No, I don't need your camelback, 511 pants that you were dieting to fit into and your paintball mask). Thanks anyway. Oh, and whatever your Airsoft gun may appear to be, it ISN'T a real MP5 and is therefore NOT going up in value...sorry.

Beyond that, asking questions about terms that are clearly spelled out in the ad indicate either you are a boob who can't read, or you have issues with trust.

When someone describes a gun as "Brand new, unfired in the box" and your note asks "Is it really new, unfired in the box?" you are either a moron or are calling the guy who posted the ad a liar. Not good, either way. "new, unfired in the box" is like being pregnant. Either you are, or you are not. There is no middle ground, so asking won't change anything except piss off the seller. Similarly, you don't ask women if they are pregnant. Either they are, or they are not. Whatever, no good can come from asking. Believe me.

Similarly, when the ad states "gun comes with two magazines" and you ask "Are there any more magazines included" you are probably thinking that the seller is sitting on a hoard of magazines that work ONLY in that particular gun, and he is waiting for the next ban to come along so he can capitalize on all the fools who bought a model 10 jammomatic and didn't have his foresight!

Grow up. If the ad says "Two magazines" it is really none of your business if the guy is sitting on 30 others. Also, if he is sitting on 30 magazines, his butt will be sore and he will be irritable.

Don't write the seller and say "Hey, I know you advertised this for $400. Will you take $150?" That is the same as putting your hand down a ladies pants, on the first date after shaking hands in greeting. Also bad form, bad manners. Dude you are not even in the ballpark. You are in the parking lot, selling soft pretzels and counterfeit T shirts. Keep up the good work. I'll wave on my way to my car.

Along the same lines, don't ask endless questions, ask about meeting, ask about price, and then divulge that you are on a fixed income, working at a pizza shop for sub-minimum wage and it will take you 4 months to come up with a down payment. Really folks. It's called MATH. Try it some time.
If you have ZERO money saved, and you are able to save 25 bucks a week, why are you torturing the owner of a $1000 Colt Python? He wants to sell it NOW, not when his hands are too arthritic to even open the cylinder.

Unless you are really putting in the overtime at the pizza shop, or have a willing sister that won't slap someone who puts their hand up their shirt on the first date, don't bother.

Also, people change their minds sometimes. If you change yours, then by all means do so. Please don't be coy about it. Stand up and make sure you let the seller KNOW that you have done so.

Asking questions, attempting to 'rock bottom' someone via an anonymous proxy from West Africa, asking for 10 pictures detailing every land and groove in the barrel's rifling, asking if there really are only TWO magazines included and asking if the owner sleeps walks, and is it possible you might have loaded the gun in your sleep and gone to the range with, so maybe it isn't reallly really NIB, (whew) and finally changing your mind? Well, people changing their mind is really a natural consequence of people's money situation changing (or their predicted lawsuit settlement from the WalMart slip and fall not coming through). Whatever. I don't care.


Call the seller and let him know.

If you had to break the second date with a woman whose shirt you had already investigated, you would hopefully call her.

When you back out of negotiations with a potential seller, how difficult is it to let them down easy? Tell them "well, my water heater blew up/ my car broke down/my wife found out and is threatening divorce if I buy one more Lorcin". It all boils down to the same thing. NO sale.

Fact is, most people have the most disturbing habit of simply vanishing, leaving the seller wondering if he dreamed the whole thing. E-mails unanswered, nothing. Then the inevitable wondering starts "did I imagine that potential buyer who wanted to know about the minuscule scratch on my Bryco pistol? Did the guy who inquired about my 1880's Le Mat work for the government and try to set me up for a straw purchase a cap and ball pistol? "

You can see what unrest it causes to leave someone hanging. More bad manners folks.

I think we all need to get together on this. You know, create some standards people. It is what separates us from the apes. Well, that whole use of tools and self awareness thingy too.

Note of disclaimer: The aforementioned rant is satire with a grain of truth does not specifically include any particular persons identity, nor does it hint at any particular individual, living, dead or flash frozen in Orlando, Florida at the science lab in Epcot. All firearm identifications have been altered to protect the rude. I don't really think your sister is a hooker, Even if she does have a pimp that threatened me that he was gonna tell my mom about the party and break my knees. If you have offended me in the past, I forgive you. We are all imperfect humans on this big round blue marble, and nothing is permanent. Well, all except the fact that your airsoft is going to continue to depreciate. Get over it.

[Damage control]

That is the same as putting your hand down a ladies pants, on the first date after shaking hands in greeting.


shoving your hand up a woman's shirt on the first date right after you say "hi".

You sold something to Lycanthrope dident you!


DC

[MrUgly]

You sir, have a gift.

I'd offer you money to write my posts, but I'd likely try to haggle. It would get messy from there.

[skyjerk]

If I knew that buying and selling firearms involved so much sticking hands up skirts and down pants I'd have been a lot more active.

Can we see a picture of this sister of yours?

[LorDiego01]

Nice rant.

For every stupid buyer like the ones you mentioned, there is one stupid seller offering his "*********Hi-Point Glock AK-47 HK-Clone BUY NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!* for $3,000. So I'd say the thing goes both ways. If somebody rubs you off the wrong way, then state so, and tell them to stop wasting your time. If they continue to bother you with their tripe, then just hit the ignore button.

[625]

Very nice rant. I usually skip over long posts like this, but I like rants.


I agree with the previous post. Just ignore the stupid questions and ridiculous low offers.

[Lycanthrope]

You sold something to Lycanthrope dident you!


DC

I bought a Hi-Point off him.


Lycanlolthrope

[normanvin]

If I knew that buying and selling firearms involved so much sticking hands up skirts and down pants I'd have been a lot more active.

I feel your pain. I rarely buy outside of a shop. But I must be shopping in the wrong places....

[Dredly]

ooohhh oohhh I wanna bitch too!

I absolutely HATE when people leave an ad open for 3 months and bump it to the top of the list every other day touting how it is still for sale! Buy now! etc. If your item is up for sale for more then a month and you don't adjust the price then stop putting it up to the top! And damnit mark it the stupid thing as sold!

If you want something to get sold you better have some fricken pictures! If you don't have a picture and you expect me to buy it the price better be DAMN good!

If an items for sale and you add info put it in the first post! I'm not reading through 30 posts to see info on an item I'm interested in, if its not in the "for sale" post I'm going to ask it again!

If you don't like an OFFER then DON'T TAKE IT! either ignore the PM / email or respond and say no thanks. IT takes less time to ignore a PM then it does to write a fucking novel about how I'm a cheap bastard and need to stop low balling on prices. (Not on this site yet as I haven't bought anything from here).

Don't use EBAY as a threat! If you want to sell it put it on ebay but don't tell me I only have 1 more day before it gets ebayed / Gunbrokered! I don't like pressure!

If you are selling lots of items in the same thread be kind enough to mark that items are sold! Its saves LOTS of trouble!

[625]

Don't use EBAY as a threat! If you want to sell it put it on ebay but don't tell me I only have 1 more day before it gets ebayed / Gunbrokered! I don't like pressure!

I guess it could be used that way, but telling potential buyers that if the item doesn't sell here that they will use a pay site, isn't necessarily a threat if that's what will indeed happen.

Oh, and stop whining you cheap bastard. See, that was quick and easy.